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Original poster

Undateables on Channel 4

124 replies

Jamellie · 18/01/2019 10:48

Has anyone seen this?

What do you think about the whole concept of this series?

Had a discussion this morning about it and curious to know other people's views are... don't want to influence the thread so not posting what the discussion was about.... yet!

OP posts:
MeOldBamboo · 18/01/2019 12:08

It is not just featuring disabled people. There have been lots of people with different challenges.
Frankly, being able to find love is such a challenge in the first place, I just love watching all the journeys to
find happiness.
Just my opinion and everyone is entitled to express how they feel about it.

MrsJayy · 18/01/2019 12:11

The perceptions of the for and against is really interesting I get quite defensive of it because I think it is showing people with difficulties going to lunch or a stroll and overcoming their fears of dating people tend to remember the characters of the programme but there is a lot of other daters that go on it .

MrsJayy · 18/01/2019 12:14

I have been married a million years Dating seems to be all on line these days all sounds a minefield of filtered snap chat pictures and swiping.

worridmum · 18/01/2019 12:17

If it was acceptable why are they not targeting Neural typical people with massive burn scars? or car crash victims? Why are the undateables only physically or mentally disabled?

Is it if they included "normal" people with horrific injuries the true purpose of the show is revealed or is it that simply burn / significantly disfigured people (through accidental or otherwise) do not consent to being on it as they do not want to on it tells me all I need to know about the show.

jellybeanteaparty · 18/01/2019 12:22

Worried they have approached people I know with very visible differences similar to burns/acid attacks. They did not want to be included in the show mainly due to the title.

Bombardier25966 · 18/01/2019 12:23

@worridmum Someone with severe burns or severe car crash injuries would be disabled. Your post makes no sense.

MrsJayy · 18/01/2019 12:26

They had a woman on it who had burns her hands had actually melted they had a guy who had an accident playing sport worridmum you have issue with it and that is fine but you clearly don't watch it and btw mentally disabled is a highly offensive term

worridmum · 18/01/2019 12:29

no they would not burns do not make someone disabled it makes them scarred.

If someone have facial burns but no other injuries are not disabled (they would not be entitled to disability related stuff) They would be classed as disfigured but still perfectible "able".

And by car injuries i mean ones that only disfigure not actually effect their functions but they only effect their looks. So no lose of limbs or lose of mental facilities simply that they are now disfigured. So not disabled just "ugly" (i hate using that term to describe people i need to explain what i mean in more detail as apprently i was using too broad terms)

worridmum · 18/01/2019 12:31

well they have changed since the last time i watched then as the first series (the only one i watched) they did not.

MrsJayy · 18/01/2019 12:32

Ah you hate to use ugly but mentally disabled is fair game Hmm

worridmum · 18/01/2019 12:34

No i do not hate anyone i was just pointing out in the first series they did not include people that were "ugly" just disabled people.

MrsJayy · 18/01/2019 12:34

Somebody with facial burns so much they are disfigured could be in a great deal of pain and not very able

Original poster
Jamellie · 18/01/2019 12:35

Mentally disabled 🙈 oh man. I'm regretting starting this thread now! I don't have a huge issue with the tv show. I'm working through a few acceptance issues of my own and just wasn't sure if I was BU to feel uncomfortable watching it. It was actually quite boring to watch in my opinion but as I said... it made me uncomfortable. Maybe I am in the minority though! I couldn't understand why Luther on another thread made people feel uncomfortable but after following that thread I came to understand! I hope people can accept that our opinions may differ but I still respect the opinions of others :)

OP posts:
SummerGems · 18/01/2019 12:42

Ok if we take conditions which would impact on someone’s physical appearance out of the equation here though and factor in people who are not esthetically beautiful purely because they’re just not, iyswim or perhaps because they are morbidly obese due to no health conditions etc or any other reason, I think it’s fair to say that those people might find themselves in the less dateable category, and yet the programme doesn’t feature those.

Why not?

Breakawaygirl · 18/01/2019 12:42

I watch the show and have to say I really love it. Others have used the word 'heartwarming' and that's how it makes me feel too. A lot of modern dating shows have a cruel or inauthentic edge, but this show always feels full of warmth and very genuine.

The show can make me laugh but never AT the contestants. For example, Richard was absolutely hilarious with his 'I simply tell people to fuck off.'

Some people may watch it for a laugh, but you could say that for any show, Big Brother, I'm a Celeb, X Factor etc. I've always found it a very hopeful and lovely show. A lot of the contestants meet someone. I forget his name but there was the curly haired guy from Brighton I think who is now married and has a song out.

Deadringer · 18/01/2019 12:45

I read about the show before I saw it and I thought it sounded awful, I felt it would be exploiting people who perhaps might be too trusting because of an intellectual disability, for 'normal' people's entertainment and possibly even cheap laughs. After watching it I completely changed my mind, i think it allows people with disabilities to take centre stage on a programme that is heart warming and funny, something we don't see very often on mainstream tv. It's sensitively done and normalizes lots of conditions that many people haven't even heard of. As for the title, my understanding is that it's called the undateables (though they knock the un off as pp said) because the people featured have been unlucky in love up to this point, and aren't even getting any dates, ergo undateable, not due to their disability as such, but because of a lack of opportunities to meet people in similar circumstances.

SummerGems · 18/01/2019 12:46

I think the issue I have is that there appears to be no middle ground between the body beautiful and the disabled when it comes to dating programmes. When in actual fact there is a huge middle ground of people whose looks, circumstances, personalities etc mean they find it incredibly difficult to find acceptance in the dating world. And yet we don’t talk about that.

I know for instance that if I didn’t have a disability I still wouldn’t find anyone because I’m an ugly cow by virtue of just not being pretty. But nobody would acknowledge that fact and question why we are all so visual when actually te visual plays a small part in the long term game.

Deadringer · 18/01/2019 12:54

First dates has quite a mixed bag of contestants tbf SummerGems. There are plenty of ordinary looking people, lots of them with normal low paying jobs or unemployed, one guy was even homeless iirc, and he got a second date!

BlankTimes · 18/01/2019 12:54

Worridmum you said
"If it was acceptable why are they not targeting Neural typical people with massive burn scars? or car crash victims? Why are the undateables only physically or mentally disabled?

The term you're looking for is Neurotypical usually abbreviated to NT.

One lady on the last programme I watched a few days ago had a huge facial birthmark that kept growing and thickening which she couldn't totally hide with makeup.

"Why are the undateables only physically or mentally disabled?"

FYI, Autism does not fit into either of those descriptors. Maybe you need to brush up on your terminology because the terms you are using are not pleasant.

BlancheM · 18/01/2019 12:55

I've only watched the earlier series and found it so uplifting and heartwarming, absolute joy to watch. Most of the daters were an inspiration.
I HATED the narration though. And the title of the show, of course.

Breakawaygirl · 18/01/2019 12:55

@Summer, I get this point. Dating shows seem to have always been for the beautiful, ignoring the average or ugly or poor or boring or whatever else is considered 'average' as if love is only for the VERY gorgeous.

evilharpy · 18/01/2019 12:58

I love it. I think from watching it I'm far more aware of the struggles non-NT and disabled people have, not just in terms of dating but life in general, which I hope has helped me be more considerate. And I think (other than the title) it's quite sensitively done and as much emphasis placed on peoples' personalities as on their disabilities.

I didn't see the first series which people upthread seem to have been less keen on.

Breakawaygirl · 18/01/2019 13:02

I found it very illuminating to see some of the struggles related to dating that are quite particular to different conditions i.e. Richard needing a woman to be within a certain radius, tourettes and the embarrassment at saying something offensive in front of a date. Dating is hard for 99% of us apart from a very small minority who glide on through, but seeing some of the more unique challenges was eye-opening for me - the support of the families was endearing too.

Gilead · 18/01/2019 13:08

The title was chosen by the first participants in the show.
There is a lot of support for the participants. Interestingly, it would seem that they have no need to approach people to appear.

BeOurGuest · 18/01/2019 13:20

No i do not hate anyone i was just pointing out in the first series they did not include people that were "ugly" just disabled people

Where to begin! Shock

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