Undateables on Channel 4

[Jamellie]

Has anyone seen this?

What do you think about the whole concept of this series?

Had a discussion this morning about it and curious to know other people's views are... don't want to influence the thread so not posting what the discussion was about.... yet!

I think that while there is a level of e.g. awareness-raising of certain disabilities, the reality is that by portraying them as “undateable” the producers are emphasising that they essentially understand that no-one would want to date these people but should be happy to watch them being set up on dates with people the viewers wouldn’t want to date either.

I think that for people with disabilities, even minor disabilities it can be very difficult to find acceptance in the dating world, however I think the name of the show is degrading and is designed to put disabled people into a box where the “beautiful” people would never go.

It’s hideous.

To me, I feel annoyed because I don't want people to think 'aww how heartwarming' when they realise I've been on a date (I'm actually married, how lovely!) and probably said some funny things because of my autism. I find it kind of patronising. Again that is just my opinion...

I really like this programme and find it really heartwarming .
I’ve also learnt a lot from it too

Any dating programme where the subjects find it hard to find love is heartwarming. I don’t think it matters if they’re disabled or Autistic or suffer from Tourette’s .
That’s why dating shows are so popular, you want everyone to have their happy ever after

I watch it like I watch First dates variety of people looking for someone .

It doesn’t feel like it is poking fun or shaming anybody. I feel that perhaps it goes some way towards showing people that most people want to find love or companionship regardless of any condition they might have. It seems to educate around the difficulties different people might experience. My sister is autistic and she enjoys the show. She says it makes her feel better to know that other people find things hard and she finds the positive message refreshing. I’ve watched it and at no point have I felt it has insulted or taken advantage of anyone. Interesting to see other people have opposite views.

Also, you only have to look at response on e.g. social media who describe person x as “cute” or person y as “sweet” with a few “aww bless” comments thrown in there to see that these people are not viewed as contenders for the mainstream world by the majority of society.

I can absolutely understand why someone might not date someone with disabilities, and I speak as someone who has disabilities, and that in some instances there would be a case for going to a specific agency to protect vulnerable people from others with less desirable intentions as much as anything else, however when we as a society are not yet beyond the point of doing the “aww bless” thing at people with disabilities we as a society still have an awfully long way to go in terms of inclusion and acceptance. And the term “undateable” just emphasises that fact.

I'm not saying it shouldn't be on tv btw. Just that these are the emotions it makes ME feel.

Exactly how I feel @SummerGems

The thing is thoigh that many people without disabilities and many with disabilities actually think they are undateable. Which is sad. This shows they aren't.
Put the name of the show in a context of the show and it does make sense.

Like The last leg.

Well if you think the majoty of people watch it for "learning" experiences you are seriously overestimated joe public. Most people are watching the show for a laugh at others less fortunate then themselves lets not kid ourselves otherwise.

Its a modern day traveling freak show of human exhibits that are meant to be viewed in ethier homour or horror and they choose vulnerable to do it.

It is no different getting some Amazonian/African tribes on the show and to have a thin viner of it being a learning experience when in fact it's meant for mockery.

o me, I feel annoyed because I don't want people to think 'aww how heartwarming' when they realise I've been on a date (I'm actually married, how lovely!) and probably said some funny things because of my autism. I find it kind of patronising. Again that is just my opinion...

Why would anybody assume you are like the people on the programme just because you are Autistic? I would hope most people know that Autism etc cover a HUGE range. Nobody thinks “oh bless” just because somebody has a diagnosis. They might think “oh bless” to someone who finds things so tricky they apply for a dating show (and who finds happiness!)Don’t assume anybody thinks that about you.

@SummerGems most people are doing "awww bless" when watching first dates too, but I can see what you mean.
I am doing "aww bless" when they pairing up animals in The secret life of ZOO and it's successful. Everyone happy deserves the "aww bless"

Most people are watching the show for a laugh at others less fortunate then themselves lets not kid ourselves otherwise.

Really? I agree there will be people out there who laugh. Most people? Not in my circles.

I don't like the title but love the show. I worked with adults with learning disabilities, and know how desperate most of them were to have a normal relationship just like everyone else. If this show helps some of them, then it's good. For the people who go on it who don't have learning difficulties, they are making a fully informed choice, and that is fine.

“Well if you think the majoty of people watch it for "learning" experiences you are seriously overestimated joe public. Most people are watching the show for a laugh at others less fortunate then themselves lets not kid ourselves otherwise.”
Bullshit.
Where is your evidence for that ? Maybe that’s how you feel but don’t pretend you know everyone else’s reasons .

worridmum I'm really horrified by your opinion. Maybe I just know nicer people than you in real life.

The comments section shows how many people really are mocking those on the show! I think a lot of people watch it for this reason.

@OftenHangry
Exactly , was going to say the same thing.
It’s not because I pity them it’s because I’m HAPPY for them , like any decent human would be

Some people are knobs though if they are laughing at people then that is their issue.

I don't often watch because I'm not interested in any kind of dating shows but I don't agree people watch to laugh or ridicule. People are more likely to laugh or ridicule the contestants on Love Island imho.

I agree it's about their own perceptions of being undateable and the show is done well.

Not all participants have learning disabilities which impact on their ability to consent and they all go into it with the support of family and friends who I'm sure don't want to see them exploited.

The title is 'disablist', no one is undateable and I find it offensive that someone with a disabiliy is classed in this way, like they are less valuable as a human being.

People can be cruel and patronising that doesn't mean participants need tohide away.

The title isn't disabilist imo.

OP you cannot judge comments on YouTube as being representative of the wider population.

I very much doubt they are the people watching the actual show.