Aibu to not tell my oh that I've flexed my hours?

[Kemer2018]

I'm fortunate that my boss has agreed condensing my pt hours from 4 into 3 days.
So I'll work Tue to Thur and have Monday and Friday off. Obviously, this will affect my annual leave so HR have been advised.
But when i told mr. I was considering changing days, he said "oh good, you can have my dinner on the table and do x y z on the Mondays if it is agreed".
I don't want to be told what to do, so I'm not telling him it's been agreed as of now.
AIBU?

Cheeky sod isn't he?

I would say don't tell him, but won't he find out?

Why don’t you tell him what your telling us? No need for any deception, just no, you’re taking time for yourself, not to pick up more chores.

When does he have dinner on the table for you???

I think he Is unreasonable to tell you how to use your time but YABU not to tell him it's agreed. Is this a marriage or a game? I just don't understand couples who keep things like this from each other, it can only end badly.

*you’re

If i get up as normal on monday he won't know. Unless he pops back in the day (rare).

Was he being serious? It sounds like a jokey comment to me. Brilliant hours though, a long weekend every weekend, I'm jealous!

Please don't lie to him.
Your money will not change.. But when he finds out and he will, he will be hurt and might think you are cheating as your hiding a day off a week.

Depends - does he get any time to himself?

Yes, it's probably jokey but as i know he's unhappy at work i don't want to piss him off.

Don’t lie about it that’ll just come back and bite you. Tell the truth and say you’re taking time for yourself. If you can’t be honest if your relationship then you have bigger problems than this to worry about.

Yes he gets nights on the xbox and weekends night fishing.

Fwiw I work Tues-thurs I spend most Monday’s drinking coffee and watching Netflix. If my partner gave me a load of jobs to do id tell him to did off.

Not really a partnership if you don't tell him something like that. If he's unhappy at work presumably you're paying your half of everything and not expecting him to fund your part time hours.

Well you need to have an honest chat and say you need time to yourself too. Don’t lie as it is corrosive to a relationship.

If I found out my partner had lied to me like that I would be FURIOUS.

But you also don't have to be 'told what to do'. You have a conversation about how you will still be working the same hours, just differently configured, and so you will still need him to contribute in the same way to household chores. You might do some re-negotiation about which chores and when.

It sounds a bit like you’re afraid of him, you should be able to a) be honest about things like this and b) confidently say actually no I don’t exist solely to make your dinner

It doesn’t bode well if one or both of those feel beyond your reach

I would be furious with my partner if they lied to me like that.

No I'm paying shopping, child clothes, outings, school dinners, whatever else and I do all the child stuff and house stuff. He's never expressed an interest in child stuff and spends most family time on his screen.
If I worked f.t he'd continue in the same way and I'd be run ragged. No.

How does him being unhappy in his work translate to you not being able to object to cooking the dinner on your day off?

You don't sound very happy in the relationship.

Hmmm pretty sure If it was the man who had reduced his days he would be expected to pick up more work at home.

But yeah, you don't sound happy in general.

The primary reasons for the flex requests:

Our child has orthodontic appointments and they only work Mondays. She has orthopaedic appointments mainly on Fridays.
So i can attend these without time off work.
Also, when I'm clear of apps I plan to rejoin a company i worked Mondays and fridays for.
So I'd work 5 days per week.

why is it affecting your leave? If you have condensed - presumably that is doing more hours per day for the days you do work eg 4 days of 10 hours is the same as 5 days of 8 hours.

Won't he notice that you're out the house longer Tues-Thurs?