Aibu to not tell my oh that I've flexed my hours?

[Kemer2018]

I'm fortunate that my boss has agreed condensing my pt hours from 4 into 3 days.
So I'll work Tue to Thur and have Monday and Friday off. Obviously, this will affect my annual leave so HR have been advised.
But when i told mr. I was considering changing days, he said "oh good, you can have my dinner on the table and do x y z on the Mondays if it is agreed".
I don't want to be told what to do, so I'm not telling him it's been agreed as of now.
AIBU?

It will because of Mondays now being a non working day. So will possibly affect my bank holiday entitlement?

He works 9- 6 leaves at 8 returns after 6.30pm.

So no.

If this is a marriage, it is a partnership and there should be no lies around. Tell him what you are doing and tell him what your plans are for the extra day.

pretty sure If it was the man who had reduced his days he would be expected to pick up more work at home

Of course he would. He would also be called lazy if the child was of school age so not actually home. Likely also slated for paying none of the household bills just the bits he deemed worthy.

It won't affect your holidays - you'll still have the same number of weeks or hours of holidays as before. It days it will be reflected differently but that's not a real change. Bank holidays are just normal holidays. In effect you should have more choice over your holidays more than anything.

greenlanes at my work annual leave for part timers varies according to the days. Most public holidays are Mondays so if that is a non working day you get less leave. boysansbuses that's nonsense the op isn't reducing her total working hours so her leisure time will remain exactly as before. Tbh if it was me I'd be offering to swap me making a meal for dh on Monday for him reciprocating on one of the days I was working longer. Except I wouldn't need to say that because dh would step up without me asking. I don't get the impression 's dh pulls his weight in that way.

Totally daft to be lying about what days you're working as it will inevitably be found out and deception is never going to look good in a relationship. But it is of a different magnitude of daft for him to be telling you what to be doing or instructing you to make his dinner. I'd tell him your plans and just say no to his suggestions (if he makes them again). Please tell me he wasn't being serious and it was meant as a joke.

At least it makes sense to compress your hours since you already don't appear to work many (if they can be compressed betw 8am and 6pm even on 3 days). I would say you need to be truthful and both should do your fair share of housework. 8am to 6.30pm isn't a particularly long day either in the great scheme of things so he should contribute to dinner etc.

Sounds like your desision to tell him or not is the least of your worries.

Nonevernotever - it would be illegal for a PT worker not working Mondays to get less leave because of that. The whole entitlement is pro rata. If anything not working Mondays usually gives more flexibility over annual leave.

I don't see why you have to lie to him. Just tell him you are having the extra day off, but this does not mean you will have his dinner on the table by x time etc and spend all your day cleaning. Otherwise its not really a day off is it

Pulling an occasional sicky and not telling is one thing, but I wouldn't conceal a regular day off. You're bound to get 'found out', it always happens. The DC slip up and say something or you will.

I'd just tell him my hours have changed and if he brings up 'dinner on the table and x y z on Monday' I'd give a tinkly little laugh as if you think he's joking, then I'd ignore it. If he says he's serious, just tell him you are compressing your hours for YOU, not for him, and you will have plenty to do!

I worked a compressed schedule and my DH certainly didn't expect me to have 'dinner on the table' or run errands for him!

Why wouldn't you be doing more housework if you're only working three days per week though

P/r workers should get proportion of bank holidays, I think.

Because I do it all on the Friday off and I cook 6 nights out of 7.

Still doing same hours taco and using spare day for child medical stuff

I don't mind.
I do mind taking Monday as a non working day for him to tell me what to do.

How old are your children and where are they while this is going on?

You would be unreasonable not to tell him. If you don’t want to say no to him so as not to piss him off, that is a while different problem.

How would you feel if he had a day off a week you knew nothing about?

‘whole’

He needs to pull his weight and pick up some of the mental load of remembering appointments, sorting kid related stuff and generally being an equal. Then you can maybe do his dinner if you are home on the extra day - or take it in turns to cook during the week? - shared partnership and all that. The fact you are even vaguely considering not telling him speaks volumes about your relationship. Are you happy with him?

Don't lie but just tell him to fuck off about his dinner.

I don't work Fridays, I also don't cook so there is no dinner waiting for DH when he comes home. I would quickly get rid of any man who expected that.

You’ll be working late Tuesday to Thursday surely? So you can do dinner Monday and dh does midweek?

Dinner on the table.
I would give him dinner on the table. It would consist of a chicken breast, a couple of potatoes and a couple of spoons of peas. Directly onto the table uncooked.
Well you asked for dinner to be on the table sweetcheeks, you never mentioned about it being cooked. Now, what takeaway are we having?