To send the dc to her mum's?

[hotstepper4]

I have a friend who is pregnant with her fourth child. She is a single parent, this is relevant.

She went into hospital yesterday morning to be induced as she has gestational diabetes. The baby still isn't born.

She has had 3 quick inductions beforehand, this one is obviously more difficult.

I volunteered to look after her 3 dc while she went into hospital, one is in their early twenties so it's just the 12 and 4 year old.

She would have had the 2 younger dc stay with her dm while she was in hospital but the 4 yo hates his gran for some reason, and I thought my friend would be home by Friday evening. This is now not going to happen.

I'm staying in their house. I miss my own home and dc. WIBU to ask their gran to pick them up on Saturday afternoon, and keep them until my friend leaves hosp?

Can the 20+ child not look after them?

What has your friend said?

The 21 year old works until 1am at a bar so can't do it.

She might be a bit arsey as I said I'd take care of her dc. But I didn't envision being here for 5 days.

Wait how does that make five days

It's been a day and a half no ?

no don't leave them with their gran. can you not take them to yours?

By the end of Sunday, it will have been 5 days.

The 12 year old refuses to stay at mine.

Even if the induction was quick there's never a guarantee she'd be out in a day or so. My ears broke early I was induced the next day, contractions had already started but I want progressing I went into hospital at seven am and had DS around midnight so not that long really, but we were kept in for five days for various reasons. YABU to have offered without considering the reality

Waters

I think you just need to stick it out because you did offer to look after them. Hang in there. You can feel extra smug afterwards for having done a good deed to help your friend.

Well, your friend probably didn't envisage being in hospital for five days either. This isn't something she's doing "at" you.

It's not unreasonable to see if the grandparents can take the kids. But come up with a better sounding reason than "I miss my home and my kids".

Did you discuss a plan as to what would happen if she has to stay in after the baby is born?

Also the twelve year old can do as she is told, if there's no other reason not to take them to your house from tomorrow

Did you discuss a plan as to what would happen if she has to stay in after the baby is born?

It’s not as if she’s on a bender or holiday, she’s in hospital and I expect wants to be home far more than you want her to be!

If it’s not that you have unavoidable plans, the kind thing to do would be to keep helping your friend. I appreciate you’ve already been kind in having them up to Saturday though.

Could you take her kids to your house or isn’t there room?

12 year old stays with gran and 4 year old goes home with you?

I feel for you but I don’t think it’s really on to volunteer then change your mind when it’s longer than expected particularly as there are no gaurantees when it comes to having a baby so should have been thought about in advance

Sorry, cross posted

If the 12 year old doesn’t want to stay at yours and the 4 year old doesn’t want to stay with gran then could the 12 year old go to stay with gran and you take the 4 year old to yours?

Can’t you just take the children to stay at your place. I know the 12yr old would rather not but sometimes you can’t always have it your own way!

I'm with @roses on this one. 20 yr old stays in house, 12 year old goes to Grans, 4 year old stays at yours.

Their gran wants them it's just the 4 yo has a problem with her for some reason. I guess I didn't prepare well, my friend wouldn't discuss as she was adamant she'd have a quick birth as she had 3 other quick births!! 😂 I think I'll reassess the situation on Saturday.

Give the 12 year old the choice of staying with you in your house or going to their gran's, and take the younger one home with you.

If the 12 year old argues with you tell them they only have the options you have given and if they don't decide between one or the other you will make the decision for them. If they don't make the decision dump the 12 year old on their gran's.

Regardless make the 4 year feel special as it is the last time they will be the youngest in their family.

Could you not ask gran to take them out for the day (or the older sibling even) on sat and/or Sunday so you get a bit of a break? But no I wouldn’t be going back on my offer if I’d offered to take care of someone’s children. It would be pretty awful for your friend to find out

Must be tough. I actually don't think you're unreasonable at all - you said you'd help out but didn't realise it would be this long. Just a mistake. I'd text her and say that you're needed at home at the weekend so you'll ring their Gran. If the 4 year old doesn't like it, it's a bit hard to say really - but it is sort of tough luck, what if your kids don't like you being away? If that's really impossible I'd be asking her daughter to step up and stay home, or doing as a pp suggests and send 12 year old to their gran and take the 4 year old to yours.