To send the dc to her mum's?

[hotstepper4]

I have a friend who is pregnant with her fourth child. She is a single parent, this is relevant.

She went into hospital yesterday morning to be induced as she has gestational diabetes. The baby still isn't born.

She has had 3 quick inductions beforehand, this one is obviously more difficult.

I volunteered to look after her 3 dc while she went into hospital, one is in their early twenties so it's just the 12 and 4 year old.

She would have had the 2 younger dc stay with her dm while she was in hospital but the 4 yo hates his gran for some reason, and I thought my friend would be home by Friday evening. This is now not going to happen.

I'm staying in their house. I miss my own home and dc. WIBU to ask their gran to pick them up on Saturday afternoon, and keep them until my friend leaves hosp?

So you are looking after 3 kids, one of whom is 21 and there’s no father(s) at all involved who can help and you’ve left your own children to facilitate this
Wtaf? Do people really like like this

Live

I think you are getting unfair responses here. You say your friend shut down any discussion about what would happen if it wasn't a quick induction. Whilst you should have insisted on working out a plan, this has now left you in a difficult situation. How old are your children? I think it's tough shit that the 12 year old won't come to yours. Why do they get to dictate that? They are 12, and you have children of your own to look after. It's hard to judge the 4 year old refusing gran without knowing more. If it was a serious reason I'd expect your friend to have discussed with you why he doesn't want to stay with her.

Aren't the kids at school anyway?

Once baby is born she'll be advised to stay in for at least 37 hours for blood sugar monitoring for baby

Once baby is born she'll be advised to stay in for at least 37 hours for blood sugar monitoring for baby

Oof.

What’s the likely reason for the 4 year old not liking the granny?

Is she a horrible old battleaxe, or does she just not have an Xbox?

21 yr old can take care of himself. It's Thursday, can you manage to get through the 12 yr old's school day tomorrow then take them to yours for the weekend? Then if friend isn't out of the hospital by Monday morning you head back to hers? At least that way you're with your DC for the weekend.

Personally, I'd probably take the 2 youngest to their Gran's. Unless the 4 year old is saying that she locks him in a closet or beats him, it's not his decision. He probably doesn't like her because she makes him eat his veggies or something.

The 4 year old doesn't like his gran?

Tough! Since when did a 4 year old dictate to an adult (you) that means you could be away from your own family for up to 5 days?

I'd give them to their granny because its gone on longer than expected and you have your own children to sort out.

Since when did 12 and 4 year olds call the shots? You're the adult and need to decide if they come to stay at your house or go to DG's and tough if they don't like it.

Four children, none of the fathers involved in their lives, tell her after this one to tie a knot in it.

Yes, why are the children calling the shots? You’re the adult, get a grip!

Can't 12 year old go to their grans and the 4 year old come to yours?

How is there no father when she has four DC? Did she get sperm donors for IVF or something?

Take them to yours. The 12 year old child doesn’t get a say really. On account they are 12.

what your doing is really lovely op.cant offer any good advice but I still think what you've done is lovely.

Op I don't think it's on to back out, it's not fair at all

Your time to discuss this was when the plan was being formed / asked for.

21 year old is an adult and doesn't need you, that's just bonkers, unless has some special needs we don't know about!

The 12 and 4 year old shouldn't be dictating how you (a grown adult away from her own DC) solved this... But the real crux of the problem is that it was planned piss poorly by you and the mum

You should have had a backup plan agreed (DC dad's , other friends, the gran or whatever)...

But you can't just pull out now, you're in the mess now and letting her down would be vile.

"There are no fathers".. erm unless she is the virgin Mary with 3 new messiah then there are! What about new baby's dad? I appreciate she might want his support but could gran be with her whilst he watches his (I presume!) stepchildren? Who was going to watch the kids before you offered? Has she no other relatives??

Why the obtuse posts about no fathers? Clearly there is a biological father - she didn't conceive through the power of her mind. He just isn't around and supportive - it's surely not that hard to imagine?

OP you're nicer than me, I would be missing my kids too. I agree the kids will just have to go to either yours or their Nan. And yes, if she has GD she will need to stay at least 24 hours after birth. I'm not being critical but if she really cared she should have allowed you to discuss it and plan in advance

The father of the 3 previous children may have died, we don't know the full story.
Why does a baby of a diabetic mother have to stay in for 37 hours of blood sugar monitoring? That can be completed in 9 hours.
In answer to the question, YWNBU to discuss with your friend taking them to their grans.

You sound like a great friend OP... hang in there it won't be forever

For Heavens sake pack a bag for the kids and bring them to yours. They don't get a say when you are doing them a favour by helping out. If the mother doesn't like that idea then she can organise someone else.

Your friend can't expect you to have them for that long. I wouldn't. Give them to gran.

I had to stay in for min 24hrs of baby blood sugar checking after birth with GD.

Talk to the Mum and work something out. I think that this may need to be an occasion where here children need to be told they cannot dictate to the adults.