Aibu to say that boys are slower at hitting milestones

[thegrassisgreenifyouusefilters]

So my DS is 2.5 and recently he made friends with a girl exactly the same age. She's streets ahead with everything- talking clear sentences, toilet trained, doesn't nap, can use scissors etc.

I hadn't noticed any real difference development between DS and his other friends that are boys the same age. None of them talk much, just a few words here and there, all in nappies still, no real craft skills. So is the new girl friend a genius or are boys slower, and am I even allowed to say that these days ?

Mine weren’t

She’s probably an outlier, and is likely ahead of girls her age too.

Who is ‘not allowing’ you to say whatever you like?

My son was fully toilet trained and a fearsomely articulate chatterbox at two and a half, and had (to my sorrow) dropped his nap at just turned 2. Can’t remember about scissors, but I don’t think he felt unusual in his group. But I wasn’t paying much attention to his peers.

boys on average start puberty a year later but I think all the other stuff seemed to develop at the same rate on average.

The ranges of normal are huge so don't compare with this child. I have never heard of a developmental difference between boys and girls. Have 2 of each and not seen it

At the same age DD1 was behind many of her friends in those examples you’ve put in your OP but DD2 was ahead of all of her friends (possibly helped by having DD1 to copy). It all balances out to a certain extent though.

I think it's more about the child, my best friend's DS is a couple of weeks older than my niece, both were talking well, toilet trained no naps unless poorly, by that age. Both are now three and at nursery and there are similar children there. My cousin's DS is the same age and doesn't really speak at all, he has a few 'words' but they're not proper words , more sounds, and people who don't know him would struggle to understand him,
he also has limited social skills and potty training would be a huge ordeal for him he's just not ready, but he's currently being assessed for developmental delay

My DS at 4 is a lot less interested in learning than his elder sister was.
His speech is actually better but she did have.
He has no interest in writing, he does not participate in lessons the same way as she would.
He is a much better player though and has such a good imagination.
He is more confident and sociable than she ever was.
And is just too full of mischief to pay attention to things. He’s all about fun.

I think a lot of it depends on the child.

I meant am I allowed to ask if there are differences between boys and girls ?

Whenever I worry about DS' development my mums says "buts he's a boy."

I'm not sure it's a gender thing that early on just that all children are different. DD is much younger than your son but compared to her peers she babbles more but has less neck strength. One of her best friends is virtually doing sit ups but isn't gaining enough weight. Another is grabbing his feet but wakes the most at night whereas DD will sleep for 12 hours with a feed at 10/11pm. All children are different. That doesn't mean that I don't understand your worry. It breaks my heart a little to see DDs friend rolling over and lifting his head beautifully but his mum always sighs and looks at him when she asks how much weight DD has gained. She's already overtaken him and was born at half the weight.

I have 3 boys and 2 were ahead of girls at that age and one was way behind.
I did notice a massive difference when they all went to secondary school though. In Scotland all children started school in the August and the cut off was end of Feb, so some were 5.5 and some 4.5. When it came to making exam choices I felt all 3 were behind the girls in terms of knowing what they wanted to do and even in general maturity and behaviour. They are all over 23 now and doing ok right enough.

YABVU

It's chicken and egg a lot of the time. "Boys will be boys" therefore people treat children differently and reinforce their own stereotyped beliefs. There was a study done recently where they dressed girls in boys clothes and vice versa and studied how adults interacted with them. It was fucking uncomfortable viewing. I actually turned it off because it was giving me the rage

I have twin boys and the difference in them developmental wise is huge. One hit all the milestones first and even now is faster at running, better at coloring within the lines, getting dressed etc so I think it depends on the child not the gender

I have both sexes and the boys weren't slower.

Surely it’s just a case of all children developing at different rates, regardless of their sex?

On average, boys tend to take longer to achieve milestones than girls. There are different theories about why this is. I believe one theory is that baby boys tend on average to be heavier than girls, so it takes them longer to move physically because they have to be strong enough to haul more weight. (Not to say the boys are necessarily overweight, this isn't necessarily the case. Just that on average baby boys weigh more than baby girls.)

I have a Boy and Girl, both met different milestones earlier than the other. My DD was an early walker and toilet trained by 2 but was slow with speech. My DS was talking earlier and learned things like letters, shapes and numbers earlier than my DD.

Interesting, I have 2 girls and my second was much heavier than my first. She hit all physical milestones earlier than her sister.

YABU

Each child is different, regardless of sex. My DS was early for talking and potty training but average for walking and being socially confident.

He is streets ahead in some ways and not in others. It has nothing to do with whether they are a boy or girl.

Toddler boys are on average slightly slower to hit milestones. This article is quite helpful www.zerotothree.org/resources/1380-are-there-any-differences-in-the-development-of-boys-and-girls-brains

A key point is 'It is important to emphasize that these findings describe only the average differences between boys and girls. In fact, the range of abilities within either gender is much greater than the difference between the “average girl” and the “average boy.” '

Two sons. DS2 tended to be ahead of DS1 as he was on a mission to close the age gap He was slower to sit though, because that required being still. DS1 loved sitting and observing.

Generally at about 18m the girls at my NCT group had more patience for sitting and crafting. The boys' mums found it too stressful when the boys would spend 30 seconds with the paint and paper, before channeling their inner celt by painting themselves and charging around. Is that environmental around stereotypes though? Was there more effort to work at girls sitting and crafting? DS2 has always preferred colouring compared to DS1 who sticks more to 3D construction type crafts.

I don't think they are slower, that's down to individuals.

On average, girls are must more interested in quiet activities, crafts, dressing up and so on, so because they practice more, they tend to more advanced with writing skills.
I know many people like to think it's untrue, but the difference between girls and boys is huge. There's always a boy who likes quiet craft and a girl who likes rugby, but have a "girl party" or a "boy party" and the atmosphere will be completely different.

I have boy girl twins.

He hit some milestones first. She hit others first. .

Even where he was after his sister he was still before some of the other girls in our NCT group.

It’s a child thing. Not a boy/girl thing.

This little girl must just be currently a bit ahead.

No.
My oldest son is 4. He is developmentally, socially and educationally about a year and a half ahead of himself. By the time he was a year old he was talking in full sentences (“I want a biscuit” for example) was potty trained fully day and night by the age of 2 and walking at 10 months.
His baby brother however is now 14 months and can only manage “mama” “dada” “grandad” and refuses to walk unless he has two hands held. He’s lazy and it’s easier to scream nonesense at his brother and point and make him fetch it.
Each and every single child develops at a different rate. Each and every single child will do things at their own pace and that’s perfectly normal. Don’t get hung up on it.

but have a "girl party" or a "boy party" and the atmosphere will be completely different.

Not true in my experience Don and I have both a girl party and a boy party during the same weekend every year as I have twins.