Aibu to say that boys are slower at hitting milestones

[thegrassisgreenifyouusefilters]

So my DS is 2.5 and recently he made friends with a girl exactly the same age. She's streets ahead with everything- talking clear sentences, toilet trained, doesn't nap, can use scissors etc.

I hadn't noticed any real difference development between DS and his other friends that are boys the same age. None of them talk much, just a few words here and there, all in nappies still, no real craft skills. So is the new girl friend a genius or are boys slower, and am I even allowed to say that these days ?

@derxa and from the training I've had it is largely due to social reasons, not genetic.

and from the training I've had it is largely due to social reasons, not genetic. What training is that?

I am comparing in the sense of that we usually socialise with other boys of a similar age as DS. I hadn't noticed much difference between my DS and his friends until he had a few play dates with a girl his age. She's so much more sophisticated and socially confident. I would of said DS is pretty inline with his peers, but I was comparing to other boys. It's just interesting. Yes maybe this girl is ahead of the pack.

My son hit milestones much faster than his two sisters. Rolling, crawling, walking, talking, toilet trained, dry through the night, writing, his school work he was much more advanced than they were at the same age. So no I don't believe it is correct. I think it's dependant on the child, their upbringing etc.

@Rednaxela that research study sounds interesting, where did you see it?

Well having siblings must influence things too.

My own experience has been that boys are (in general) quite far behind the girls. The big differences are learning to talk, and academics in the early years. Also, I teach 3 year olds (swimming) and my job is much easier if I have a few girls in the class.

With the exception of walking, my boy hit all his milestones earlier than his sister. She is still a little chatterbox at 2 right enough.

And I should say my boy is my oldest.

Definitely the child. My DD had noticeably slower language than DS, but he has other difficulties (and strengths).

@CosmicComet it has been done lots of times butt recently it was shown on No More Boys and Girls with Mr Andre.

I don't have daughters so can't compare but DS was varied. He was a late crawler and walker but he was talking early and he was potty trained by 2 and a half and dry at night too before he was 3 years old. He is 5.5 now and has a brilliant vocabulary, is good at numbers but his reading and writing is a bit behind. He's been a real mixed bag.

My nephew is 9 months and walking already,
My ds was talking and potty trained well before any other children of his age.

In swimming, the qualifying times for competitions are easier (ie slower) for boys than girls up till about 11, then it swaps. There's a reason for that.
There's always going to be anecdotes of boys who're progressing as well/better than the girls, but any report which compares a large number of girls vs boys will find the girls ahead in the early years.

My son didn't sit up til he was 10 months. He could, he just chose not to as be learnt to drawl before he could sit so didn't bother. He sits fine now.

He's almost 15 months and isn't walking yet, doesn't really talk, or say proper words.

I have a girl and 2 boys. Boys walked earlier than my girl....their talking was a lot later than hers though!

My son is nearly one and hasn't hit any milestones, he can only sit up. So I have wondered this as my Dd hit every milestone on time or early. He didn't even get a tooth until 10.5 months. I also think it could be a 2nd child thing as he's quite happy for me and Dd to do it all for him! I also naturally have less time than when I had my Dd. If he was my first child I'd probably be really worried but they are all different!

I wish I had the time to read the articles but I haven't. Just going by my experience.
My ds (5) doesn't play with cars. He likes dinosaurs, reading, songs, poems, performing, pink, imaginative play. He has more girl friends than boys but makes friends with both easily.
He was a young crawler but now is very average physically. He talked very early and was always very articulate. He still is. Toilet trained at 2 years 4 months.
My dd (3) loves dinosaurs, drawing, colouring, baking, scooters and bikes, the colour blue. She was an early crawler and is very confident physically. Average talking. Toilet trained at 20 months.
Dd2 is 10 months. Has 8 words.

No evidence but what I see.
I think girls are more consistent. If a milestone is to be able to do something by the age of 2, girls will broadly achieve that at the age of 2.
Boys will average 2 as well, but one of them may tick the box at 3 and another at 1 whereas girls will be in a much narrower range.

As others have said there’s a huge spectrum of normal. As long as he’s hitting the milestones within those there’s nothing to worry about. In a few years no one will know far less care who was walking and toilet trained when. :)

Both my boys hit their mile stones early.

Even things like ds2 was riding a bike without stabilisers at 2, and ds1 was reading at 3.

However, once they were in reception, other children caught up in their own time, and by the end of reception with the exception of things like reading, I would say most children were able to do the same things.

So when I hear parents say they have a genius for a child because they are able to do something others can’t I take it with a pinch of salt.

Both of my boys were speaking in clear sentences by the she of 1. My daughter only had about 10 words when she was 2.

I have a lot of children. As a general rule (with the odd outlier) the further down the food chain they are the earlier they hit their milestones. The more independence they have the quicker they learn.

In my observation you are correct OP. DD1 is 3 years old and the girls in her preschool are generally ahead of the boys in speech, toilet training, and overall behaviour. I have also read an article not long ago saying many young boys under 6/7 years old are being incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD when in fact they just struggle to sit still for normal developmental reasons.

So you are implying boys are different than girls? YABU, you are not allowed to say that anymore.