Aibu to say that boys are slower at hitting milestones

[thegrassisgreenifyouusefilters]

So my DS is 2.5 and recently he made friends with a girl exactly the same age. She's streets ahead with everything- talking clear sentences, toilet trained, doesn't nap, can use scissors etc.

I hadn't noticed any real difference development between DS and his other friends that are boys the same age. None of them talk much, just a few words here and there, all in nappies still, no real craft skills. So is the new girl friend a genius or are boys slower, and am I even allowed to say that these days ?

My dd is 2.5 and not talking in sentences, has just started to put words together. No where near ready to be toilet trained. She can sort of use scissors. I wouldn't worry, it all evens out eventually.

My older son at 2.5 was potty trained, spoke in clear sentences and could count to 50, add and subtract simply and knew all his shapes and colours. DS2 is 2. He talks a lot but is nowhere near fluent. We are nowhere nearing adding and subtracting!!!

Mix for me - little man spoke quicker, toilet trained faster and without issue but teetth taking forever to come through,made best type Friends slower and his behaviour isn't as good (boys lol!)

I have 2 boys and they are both extremely different
DS1 was way ahead on physical milestones (walking, 9mths, climbing 10mths jumping, riding a proper bike 3 etc) but hardly said a word before he was 2.5, he was however potty trained in the day at 14mths
DS2 is 2.5 can read numbers, speaks confidently, knows his colours and shapes, reliably can count to 20, do jigsaws, and knows where we live, puts his shoes and coat on , draws and colours in well - his brother couldn't do any of this but DS2 regularly trips over his own two feet.
Kids are all different and milestones are such a rough guide so really shouldn't be compared. DS1 is now a clear, articulate 10yo who isn't actually that co-ordinated anymore - so it's also worth remembering just because they are quick off the block in something's it doesn't necessarily fix their development path for the future.

Both my boys are super advanced.

The examples in your original post are slightly random though- dropping a nap for example isn’t necessarily a milestone. My 21/2 year old girl is very verbal, loves crafts and has been playing with (rather than alongside) other children for at least a year. But she has no interest in potty training (we’re miles off), can be immensely silly and screechy and still naps. Basically they all do things differently depending on their interests and what drives them.

What I have seen though is a difference in emotional maturity between her girl and boy friends and I think the boys can be a bit more physical (whether through nature or nurture). We were at a party with 90% toddler boys and my little one got pissed off with them a bit rough and grabby and went to sit with the adults instead.

Its hard to know how much nature and how much is nurture.
Potty training I think is mostly nature though - something to do with hormone production?
There's another thing about boys handwriting and having less developed ligaments but I think its less clear cut.

But individual children don't always match what is typical even for the more biological ones -
DS was potty trained at just after 2 and is dry at night 90% of the time (will be 3 in the Spring)

But all his drawings are scribbles and he lasts 5mins at crafts

@Teddyreddy interesting article thank you. My DS goes to pre-school ( they can start at 2 at his one) and in the mornings when I drop off they have free play. There is always a table full on girls doing play doh or colouring and a table of boys playing trains/ cars . So I wonder if this is due to where their parents leave them or natural gravitation towards certain activities as the article suggests?

Statistically girls are ahead in fine motor, language and social skills (and I think academically until about 12 or 13). That said there's huge variation anyway and unless there's cause for concern (Eg no words or poor comprehension skills) it's not worth comparing.

I was a SALT. Boys with specific SAL disorders were more common in the centres I taught. I have tried to find a good study to illustrate this but failed. This is a multi factorial issue. Delayed acquisition of speech and language can be due to the language environment of the child but can be due to neurological issues.

Each and every single child develops at a different rate. Each and every single child will do things at their own pace and that’s perfectly normal. Don’t get hung up on it. Wise advice.

Generally, yes, I think there have been studies done to corroborate the theory.

Anecdotally, our DD walked at 9 months, talked in full sentences well before 2 and had all the motor skills sorted before nursery at 3.5y. She’s now 14, not remotely academic but very talented creatively.

DS walked at 11m and didn’t talk properly in sentences until 3ish, wasn’t fully potty trained until 3ish. He then came on leaps and bounds and is academically well ahead of his age. It really is child dependant and not worth stressing over when they are so young.

@derxa by language environment do you mean if the average girl is playing teddy bear tea parties or colouring more often than boys then you can sit and speak with them. If the average boys are pushing cars around more than girls there is less opportunity for interaction?

No that's not the case at all. I'm a childminder and have 2 ds, both my boys walked at 10 moths and did everything else pretty early. I see boys and girls hit all different milestones at different ages.

Language impairment is more common among boys than among girls. Studies in the US show that boys are 3 times more likely to have delayed language development compared with girls. (Zubrik, 2007) In Norway, twice as many boys have language impairment, compared with girls, based on parent reports (Hollung-Møllerhaug, 2010)
Taken from
www.fhi.no/en/mp/children-and-adolescents/language-development--impairment/language/fakta-om-sprakvansker-hos-barn/

It sounds as if you might be comparing a bit, OP? I didn’t have any concerns with DD1, who is a lovely little girl who hit all her milestones early or on time, but I still couldn’t help but goggle at my friend’s son who was streets ahead even at 12 months! It’s really hard not to compare, but honestly, if there aren’t any developmental concerns, it is all down to the individual child and to some degree what the parents/nursery etc do with them.

I have three boys, their milestones have all been hit at varying times one walked at 10 months, one at 17 months. One was ready simple words and adding up by three and another didn’t even know all his letters reliably until 5. I don’t think it’s a boy or girl thing.

The language environment is the exposure that a child has to meaningful interaction with adults and their peers. It doesn't mean just during play but at mealtimes, bedtime, bath time, etc. Comprehension of language is also very important, turn taking skills etc.

I had a girl first, then a boy. My boy has been much quicker with every milestone so far... I think each child is just different and you can’t lump all girls together or all boys together, they’re all individuals.

My health visitor told me this when ds was a baby. She said it's FACT that boys typically reach their milestones slower/later than girls do.
I'm nearly certain that she even used a different chart for boys and girls, although perhaps that was weight and length

I have girls and one boy, and it was absolutely true in our case too.

On average they are, yes and it was true for my DS vs DD’s. I never knew whether it was because he was the first born or not though. The DD’s learnt from DS iykwim.

Children are all different. Your child is different to that child. That's about as much as I can gather.

My son was running at 7 months old. He could talk really well by 2 and seemed so advanced. He met milestones my daughter now nearly 4 is struggling with.
All kids are different

Your son was running at 7 months old?

Statistically boys can be slower to talk. This is our fault, not genetics. Society gives girls "real life play" like tea parties, mummies and daddies etc etc which encourages conversation and language development, boys get given cars and say "brum brum" obviously it's not true to every household, but was mentioned at a talk I went to about raising boys.

There are no differences between the brains of boys and girls at this age, it's how we are raising them.

There are no differences between the brains of boys and girls at this age, it's how we are raising them. There are no differences between some boys and girls - the vast majority but more boys than girls have specific speech and language difficulties.