AIBU to want help with laundry

[Nayeds]

Last night I had a furious anger explosion. I just couldn't stop being so very angry. I asked my husband to just hang his OWN clean but damp underwear on the clothes horse. He wouldn't do it. This made me more furious. I told him do his own laundry from now on but I cannot bear it building up in the basket and smelling the whole upstairs out. AIBU to PUSH him into doing his own laundry? The most housework he does is empty the bins (sometimes he forgets and guess who does it then). He won't even wash a dish after himself.

When he lived with his mother until he met me (at 28, I was 18) his mother did EVERYTHING for him-even iron his clothes! I need some tips to make him see I'm at the end of my tether clearing up his dirty mess! Or am I simply being unreasonable?

Thank you for the kind comments.

I was driven to doing this because quiet talks, careful explanations, waiting for the right moment, making appeals for his help, thanking him for what he did do, telling him how much I loved him, rational agreement and being patient and understanding made no bloody difference.

Ditto “ asking nicely “ and “ using the correct tone of voice “.

You have mentioned that he will do jobs when asked nicely. But that is just 'helping'. Does he have responsibility for doing any stuff under his own initiative?

If not, he sometimes is nice enough to do you a favour. But doesn't see it as looking after his own place.

When he acts like an adult and works out that things need to be done without being asked, then he will be sharing your life as an equal.

His clothes don't smell!!! But damp towels etc in the basket can pollute ALL the items!!

How’s it going OP?