Ex wants to change when he has his daughter

[Mumof2girls1990]

My ex recently joined a dating site and has been talking to someone and was planning on meeting her his weekend. I don't have a problem with him moving on but over the last 2 years he's had our daughter every Friday night to Sunday afternoon and now wants to change when he has her because he won't be able to meet this girl. I've said he can have her every weekend as normal and then every other weekend when she's not working he can have our daughter Saturday to Sunday but he just wants her every other weekend and threatened to take me to court. He works Monday to Friday and doesn't see her during the week so he wanted to have her every weekend so he can spend time with her. Am I being unreasonable by saying he can't have her twice a month when he doesn't see her during the week?

and by the way you do sound immature.

I can't understand some of the replies on this thread.
If I split with my DP and he said he only wanted to see our DC for four days a month I would be so angry, even more so if we had arranged it to be eight days.
What does it matter what day it is? Not everyone works mon - fri with the weekend off. If you have arranged eight days, it should be eight. I would be flexible to change them but not just half them.

When do you ever have a full day with your DD? It's still unclear where your other daughter is in all of this.

I don't understand why you don't want to see your DD more often?

When she starts school you will hardly see her. EOW seems like the best solution, get a baby sitter to cover your job on Saturday, if its that important.

He's not doing it because of a girl he's never met, he's doing it because he wouldn't be able to have a proper relationship at any point if he see her every weekend.
I get your upset by this but make up your mind if he's a crap dad or not. You dad he had his dc every weekend since she was a few months old and then saying he would rather go to the pub in the week.
Also this could be a temporary thing, once he's had some weekends he may miss her and want to see her again as he sound like a hands on dad.
You must of known this wasn't going to go on forever, it was going to have to change in a year when dc went to school

Word of warning op. My DH started with an every weekend (3 nights) arrangement when he split with his ex and his son was 2. She didn't want to change this when he started school as she'd just gotten a boyfriend and was obviously enjoying her free weekends.
Fast forward- son is now 9 and her only time with him is before and after school 4 days a week.

She asks for extra Fridays and DH never says no but his son kicks off and she gives in. He's in that routine now and he doesn't want to not go to dads ever.
It can't be that fun at mums with school every day so obviously stepson has gotten used to his routine now and doesn't want to change it.

Pressed post too soon-
What I'm trying to say it- you will want that quality weekend time with your dd when she starts school so personally I'd bite his hand off now.

Do you get on enough to talk to him sensibly?
If so, you both need to find something that works for now. As pp say she will be in school in Sept so you will need to change then. Do you work during the day on Saturday?

Surely if its his contact time but he wants to do something else, the onus is on him to pay a babysitter/nanny/family help? Exactly the same as if OP wants to go out on a Thursday when she is caring for her child? What is it with NRPs thinking the RP is their unpaid sitter, and MN agreeing? Ridiculous

What about splitting the weekend:
He has her Fri night til Saturday tea (to allow you to go out Fri nights and work and him to go out Sat nights.)

Does the rest of your agreement cover nursery costs while you work etc? If he wants to lose his Saturday he needs to change his financial arrangement to allow alternative childcare costs or list earnings.

I do agree, once she starts school you will cherish alternative weekends. Or st least I hope you will.

When she is 3 you will get the free nursery hours. Can you re-work your working hours to nursery hours?

NicolaStart the OP works Saturday evenings.

Keeping the same number of nights but changing to him having her Saturday late afternoon (before OP starts work) to Monday and dropping her off at nursery, OP picking her up, should surely be a good compromise though.