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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter broken her new phone

170 replies

lexi873 · 15/01/2019 19:57

Hey,
So as the title says I bought my 11 year old daughter an iPhone for Christmas after a long time of nagging that eeeveryone else has got one, and today she has spilt a bloody drink on it and broken it!
I know accidents happen but I’m more angry that she’s hidden it and lied I asked her what had happened to the screen and she kept saying she didn’t know (the apps keep closing and the screen is swiping by itselflf) so more fool me thought it must be faulty and was going to take it back to the shop tomorrow before she confessed!
I know she’s only 11 and accidents happen but my AiBu is would you make her pay out of her own money for a repair or the cost? It’s on contract for £22 a month for 18 months and I’ve got to pay that and she’s only had the damn thing 3 weeks, I know I should have got insurance but the cost of the phone was enough and I could only afford a phone as a treat in the first place. I’m so angry, it’s her birthday on Friday and I’m meant to be taking her and a friend for a meal and sleepover but I don’t even feel like it now after she lied.
What would anyone else do? Thanks

OP posts:
grumiosmum · 16/01/2019 08:15

Should be covered by your household insurance.

DS dropped his in a swimming pool & our insurance paid out quickly for a replacement .

Mine fell in the loo once & the rice & airing cupboard trick worked.

Failing that, you can sell a water-damaged iphone on eBay (must be honest about the condition) & get some money back for it, which you could then put towards a 2nd -hand replacement.

ScienceIsTruth · 16/01/2019 08:16

YWBU to get her an iphone in the first place, but YANBU to make her contributes towards repair as that will cost 100s without insurance.

If she'd told you immediately you could've probably fixed it using the rice trick (worked for me a few times), but I doubt it'd work now, although it may be worth a try.

I would actually cancel her birthday treat if things are that tight as you'll need the money for repairing the phone.

I'd be really angry about the lack of care/ responsibility as well as then lying about it.

ScienceIsTruth · 16/01/2019 08:20

Explain you can't afford both the meal and the repair and the phone needs repairing as you still have to pay for it, but that she can still have the sleepover, if you think she's remorseful about lying. There needs to be a consequence though as she's possibly made it worse by not telling you immediately(or did she own up pretty fast?)

grumiosmum · 16/01/2019 08:24

Also don't take it to Apple to repair but try an independent. More likely to be able to fix it & at a lower cost.

LeslieYep · 16/01/2019 08:43

The rice thing is a long shot and may only work if the drink spilt is water.

Sugary drinks corrode the motherboard connections and short it all out.

Repair might be a no go, depending on the damage.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 16/01/2019 08:55

It baffles me why someone would buy a child an iPhone when there are much better, waterproof Android phones on the market.

waterrat · 16/01/2019 08:59

Sadly she was given something she is too young to look after properly and you the parent didn't help her look after it.

I truly cannot believe you would give an iPhone to an 11 year old. What is the need ? A basic smart phone for messaging and games is enough

Vegisgrowingwell · 16/01/2019 09:22

Vegi-are you perhaps confusing iphones with smart phones?
I'm really not.
I'm a Samsung girl myself but they all started getting iPhones (cheaper versions not the latest) for their 11th birthday. Thankfully my sister is an apple fan so my daughter got her old phone!

I also agree the real world is what you make it but secondary school is shit enough and even worse if you are the only child without a phone (not an iPhone but any phone).

Severide08 · 16/01/2019 12:26

I dont see the problem with an 11yr old having one of the older iphones .Our DD had been asking whilst at primary but i did say no until secondary school .Our DD catches the bus to school as we are in a rural area so if there is a problem see can contact either me or her dad and for me it is a sense of security knowing she has it .Each to their own but i think some people were quite harsh to the OP.

Bellatrix14 · 16/01/2019 13:35

@BlimeyCalmDown the OP’s thought about ‘ruining’ her daughter’s birthday was in response to her lying, not because she’d broken the phone...

Original poster
lexi873 · 16/01/2019 13:55

I didn’t tell her she wasn’t having her birthday treat now I just said I don’t feel like doing it , but now I’ve calmed down I realise that would have been miserable of me.
I was angry about the lying to my face, it was only when I said that people in the repair shop will be able to tell if anything’s happened to it that she finally owned up, imagine if I’d taken it back claiming it was “faulty” and they’d found the water damage they’d have thought I was trying to pull a fast one!
I’ve been over this kind of thing with her many times before about lying over and over until she bursts into tears and finally admits things, and that owning up quickly is always the best thing to do.
The phone is currently in the airing cupboard and I’m hoping that as it wasn’t drenched it will recover!
Thanks for peoples advice.

OP posts:
bonbonours · 16/01/2019 14:03

'when you buy an expensive mobile phone, go the extra mile and buy an superb waterproof drop proof cover too.'

Exactly. I have refused to buy a ridiculously expensive phone for my daughter but even in her £100 phone she has a super tough indestructible case and toughened glass screen protector. I have the same on my phone. Accidents happen, I can't imagine why anyone doesn't have their phone protected let alone protect one they are giving to a child.

livs1987 · 16/01/2019 14:08

As an iPhone user, the fact that the screen is still on (and moving) is a good sign - there’s hope that you can recover the device by allowing it to properly dry out.

However it is now liquid damaged and it’s likely that the warranty is void now.

eggsandwich · 16/01/2019 14:12

We brought our dd who’s 16 an iphone 8 plus it was a joint birthday and Christmas present, we also got it insured as I would of kicked myself if anything had happened to it in the first year, luckily our dd is careful and knows it costs alot, but unfortunately these thing happen its a shame that iphones are so expensive but insurance is really a must.

livs1987 · 16/01/2019 14:15

Also just some friendly advice - I know your daughter constantly lies and it really annoys you that it takes a lot of effort to discover the truth. It’s understandably frustrating. However is there a chance that your daughter is intimidated by your reactions and that she’s scared to tell you the truth, so believes this is the easy way out? Do you get overly angry, shouty and cross? If so, it might be worth trying to stay calm and take a breather so she feels a bit more comfortable opening up to you. But obviously ignore me if this isn’t the case and she’s just careless/irresponsible!

Original poster
lexi873 · 16/01/2019 14:33

Yes I suppose I do get cross, but there’s never really any consequences I just have a bit of a shout and that’s it, if anything my family say I’m too soft.
She’s always been like it really even when she was younger she’s always been seen as a “good” child by teachers and adults and hates to be in any sort of trouble so panics and lies, she does it when something happens at school too not just at home with me.

OP posts:
Armadillostoes · 16/01/2019 14:36

OP-Don't you don't see that your anger is part of the reason she lies? Like any relationship it's a two way street. She sounds scared of your reaction. Telling her not to lie won't help if she can't trust you not to react inappropriately.

Howdoyoudoit31 · 16/01/2019 14:39

QueenieIsLost

An accident is an accident. I don’t know what this ‘accidents are only ok if...’ rubbish.
Unfortunately sometimes stuff can’t be helped and you don’t mean to break/ruin something because it’s an accident.

Armadillostoes · 16/01/2019 14:39

Some people really hate shouting and find it distressing. I am one! Whatever you intend it may be a "consequence" for your DD. Would you shout at your boss or a police officer if you were pulled over? If not, you probably CAN control it.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 16/01/2019 14:45

Accidents happen and getting angry really won't solve it.

Firstly, look into getting it fixed then get it covered by insurance.
Secondly, invest in a good, shockproof case as these are great at protecting the phone.

uk.cellphonecases.com/Apple-Iphone-X-Ion-Triple-Layered-Case-Tempered-Glass-Rose-Gold-Clear.html?utm_source=googleshopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=productads&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0cj-ncXy3wIViLTtCh2pDgAfEAkYAyABEgJKe_D_BwE

Allthewaves · 16/01/2019 14:46

Anyone can have accidents with their mobile so yabu to be angry.

Allthewaves · 16/01/2019 14:47

Claim on house insurance?

Severide08 · 16/01/2019 16:13

Wow lot parent judging of OP and saying her daughter is scared of her reaction ,all that from one post Hmm.Seriously are people saying no parent has ever shouted. Give over that is a ridiculous statement,every parent has shouted at one point .OP hope you manage to get it sorted.

binkybea · 16/01/2019 16:21

My daughter did this with hers three weeks after she bought it for herself and the same age!

I feel your pain Thanks

Accidents do happen,

It is ok to be angry it shows you care!

There is a lesson here for her and you. Perhaps a cheap price phone in the interim while you pay for the other one Sad

Adults drop/damage phones tooWink

GladAllOver · 16/01/2019 16:32

She's too young to have any smartphone, least of all an expensive one. You fell for the oldest trick in the book - "all my friends have one." No they don't, but they will all be saying it. Hopefully other parents will have had more sense.

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