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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter broken her new phone

170 replies

lexi873 · 15/01/2019 19:57

Hey,
So as the title says I bought my 11 year old daughter an iPhone for Christmas after a long time of nagging that eeeveryone else has got one, and today she has spilt a bloody drink on it and broken it!
I know accidents happen but I’m more angry that she’s hidden it and lied I asked her what had happened to the screen and she kept saying she didn’t know (the apps keep closing and the screen is swiping by itselflf) so more fool me thought it must be faulty and was going to take it back to the shop tomorrow before she confessed!
I know she’s only 11 and accidents happen but my AiBu is would you make her pay out of her own money for a repair or the cost? It’s on contract for £22 a month for 18 months and I’ve got to pay that and she’s only had the damn thing 3 weeks, I know I should have got insurance but the cost of the phone was enough and I could only afford a phone as a treat in the first place. I’m so angry, it’s her birthday on Friday and I’m meant to be taking her and a friend for a meal and sleepover but I don’t even feel like it now after she lied.
What would anyone else do? Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
lexi873 · 15/01/2019 21:18

I posted in AiBu cos I was prepared to be told I’m BU if I am!
I now see that spoiling her birthday is OTT and that her contributing to the repair is fair and punishment enough.
armadillostoes a wider pattern of behaviour? I’ve posted this one story so how you think you know my life and how I raise my children is rather baffling.
As far as I’m aware as a mum of 3 with lots of mum friends, children lie when they think they’ll be in trouble, I’m sure they’re not all damaged children!

OP posts:
delboysskinandblister · 15/01/2019 21:18

I remember being so upset that I had lost a gold ring that I received for my 17th from mum. It wasn't dear but I loved it and I was cross with myself for losing it. I told mum. She wasn't angry she just said it's a shame but it is just a thing. It wasn't expenseive. Never believed in giving expensive gifts. Had been times when I was matched the amount over my own money to get the thing i would have i.e. trainers = I was given £20 and told to save up the rest myself.

Don't make her contribute to the repair it's not right. I'm sure you've made mistakes with belongings and you don't want to hurt her just teach her right in the first place.

Tink2007 · 15/01/2019 21:19

My nearly 13 year old got her new iPhone for Christmas. She tripped and it fell out her pocket and smashed the screen last week.

It was an accident. It happens - no matter how frustrating. The screen has to be replaced but we are going halves with her as it was an accident but also because she forgot to put it in its case so she has to use her pocket money to pay her half.

ILoveDolly · 15/01/2019 21:19

My 13yo has an Alcatel Pixie on a Sim only contract. She says she likes having a phone she could damage and afford to replace herself. It is fine and cheap.

OdeToDiazepam · 15/01/2019 21:20

Tbh this is your fault for getting an 11 yr old such an expensive (unnecessary) phone

llangennith · 15/01/2019 21:22

Of course she lied. She was scared of your reaction.

MarinaMarinara · 15/01/2019 21:23

When I accidentally drowned DH’s phone (knocked a full pint of water over it) our home insurance covered it. It wasn’t fixable but bar the £50 excess they replaced it with a brand new one so no real harm done. Maybe check your contents insurance?

Neverunderfed · 15/01/2019 21:23

Oh the poor love, she must be devastated. And to feel she had to hide it, and not get comfort from you. :-( Absolutely get it repaired, take some of the cost from her savings/pocket money and then get insurance.

mobyduck · 15/01/2019 21:25

You can get an iPhone 6 for as little as £5 on eBay (most go for about £15).
Get her that and PAYG.
Each time you pay the monthly £22, remind yourself that an 11 year old is a child!
Sorted!

rytonsister · 15/01/2019 21:26

I didn't get dd an iPhone till she was 16. And then got insurance.

11 is too young to take that kind of responsibility.

BlitheringIdiots · 15/01/2019 21:26

Are you sure you aren't auto covered on your bank account or house contents insurance for this?

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 15/01/2019 21:29

How bad was the damage- was it a splash of liquid over the home button or was the whole phone dunked?

I had something similar with my iPhone 6 and brought it to a non-Apple repair shop who sorted it in an afternoon for €50.

I wouldn’t be reading the riot act until you find out the extent of the damage, but I absolutely would be expecting her to contribute to the cost of repair by doing extra chores around the house for a few weeks.

delboysskinandblister · 15/01/2019 21:30

My 13yo has an Alcatel Pixie on a Sim only contract. She says she likes having a phone she could damage and afford to replace herself. It is fine and cheap.

OP - This is an example of a very sensible approach to teaching a child the value of things, their fragility and who pays for anything before anything gets broken. You can't alter the terms and conditions of her Christmas present because you caved to an 11 year old.

Original poster
lexi873 · 15/01/2019 21:32

I’m not sure about the home insurance but I’ll check it out tomorrow thanks.
Yes I see I probably over reacted now and not getting insurance was idiotic , and no doubt she’s devastated that she’s broken something she was so desperate to have Sad I was just angry.

OP posts:
SirGawain · 15/01/2019 21:32

HandDriedRoses
Are you a regular fraudster or do you just encourage others!

delboysskinandblister · 15/01/2019 21:35

You are entitled to feel pissed off just learn from it and please don't take it out on a child. Especially as it was her Christmas present, close to her birthday and until she is 16 unable to earn her own money.

I hop you all have a lovely birthday.

cowfacemonkey · 15/01/2019 21:39

Seriously stick it in a box of rice and put it in the airing cupboard for several days. I've dropped an ipod touch and an iPhone 5 down the loo and have also managed to spill a flask of hot water all over an iPhone 4 (all of them survived after putting in rice and in the airing cupboard).

Not ideal that she lied, explain to her that if she had brought it to you straight a way then it would have had a better chance of fixing the issue and it is the lying and delaying telling you that may mean it costs you more money.

DS2 had an old iPhone of mine that he managed drop, scratch and eventually smash. He had buy his new phone with his own birthday money and funnily enough a year on there isn't a mark on it!

lau888 · 15/01/2019 21:39

I'm glad you've calmed down now. It sucks that you have uninsured damage. :( I hope you ensure your child knows you were angry/upset about the lie, not the accident, and that she can tell you anything (that's true) in the future. FWIW, I also get super upset about lies. The phone was just an expensive thing but lies really hurt. x

Armadillostoes · 15/01/2019 22:13

OP read my second paragraph. The lie itself isn't so damning, children and adults alike do lie in panic. it is your own words about YOUR reaction. You screwed up and blamed your DD. Also, you ignored lots of the points raised and now sound very defensive. If you don't want feedback, don't ask for it..

You clearly think that you are doing a good job as a parent. It doesn't really matter what randoms like me on the internet think. At least your DD will get her birthday.

Severide08 · 15/01/2019 23:39

Insurance doesn't covet water damage anyway. Almost all phone insurance has that as an exemption.

That's not true ,i got my 12yr old DD an iphone 6 and insured it and she accidently dropped it in water,insurance said it was not repairable and we got sent another iphone 6.
OP i was annoyed at the time too ,i am not going to lie because i had said numerous time do not have it near water but accidents happen ,i accidentally once put one of mine in the washing machine years ago Shock.Check your house insurance they may well cover it under accidental damage and hopefully you can get it sorted that way .

MrMeSeeks · 15/01/2019 23:45

I wouldn't give it her back until she was older. Im extremely careful with my phone and always have been as it was drummed into me how expensive they were ( even before iphones!) i don't have insurance either ( purely as you have to pAy some money anyway, and some things aren't even covered )

Seaweed42 · 15/01/2019 23:47

Just bring it back and tell them it's stopped working properly. For all you know the drink had nothing really to do with it.

Seaweed42 · 15/01/2019 23:47

Also, try turning it off and then back on again. It might be fine.

CosmicComet · 15/01/2019 23:49

I wouldn’t buy anything less than an iPhone 8 for that exact reason. The 8 is waterproof - earlier models aren’t and therefore are easily wrecked. And you should always get insurance on a phone. Too late now I’m afraid, an expensive lesson learned!

CosmicComet · 15/01/2019 23:50

Just bring it back and tell them it's stopped working properly

Do you think they won’t open it up and see the water damage?!