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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious over what has just happened?

652 replies

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 09:46

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS Angry I just despise people at times.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 15/01/2019 13:40

OP yabu

My parents have two dogs - a collie and a staffy. My dad often takes them to a local public field to let them off the lead and run (the staffy is less keen on running than the collie, but she does like to use the field to bury sticks and rocks Hmm ) To get to the field from the car park you have to walk down a narrow path with trees and thick hedges on both sides. My dad will always make sure he gets the dogs on leads in the car and right at the edge of the field by the gate so that the dogs are under control down the lane but he isn't blocking the way.

It sounds to me that you were blocking the way and perhaps the man wanted to get past as quickly as possible as he knew his dog (that was appropriately muzzled and leashed) would want to get near your dogs if he stopped. He may even have thought you had stopped to let him past and had crouched to get extra control over the pug as he passed.

My dad's collie gets very overexcited if other dogs pass nearby so they are trying to train it out of her. That currently involves them stopping if other dogs approach and my dad getting down to her level, holding her collar, letting the other dog pass by distracting her by talking to her and then praising her if she doesn't react. The staffy will sit there entirely chilled for the whole time. If someone passed my dad with their dog he would hold up a hand in "thanks" as acknowledgement for them realising he was training the dog and for not lingering and making the situation harder.

In future I would ensure all the dogs are on their leads before you leave the field as that way you won't be blocking the path and will have total control of your animals before you come into close quarters with any other dog walkers.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 13:40

You have said that at one point all the dogs were reacting, and then said how they were protective and would guard you and your dd.
I didn't - I said they were pissed off, I didn't say they were reacting. To elaborate, one had stood up and barked. The others remained seated but were shuffling a bit.

Dogs, especially those in a pack situation, are unpredictable.
I know, which is why I asked for the man to wait a few seconds.

You cannot expect total strangers to assess your bumbling dramas and react with courtesy 100% of the time.

Wasn't a bumbling drama, just putting a dog on a lead. If you think that's drama, you need to get out more.

You need to not be so completely reliant on others avoiding your entirely avoidable lack of control.
Ok.

What if your dogs had set upon this man? You wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing.
But they didn't, did they? Because they were under control, on leads.

You have zero rights to inflict your lack of common sense on the public to this level.
A lack of common sense would be to allow them all off lead, running towards a muzzled dog (or any dog for that matter), who may get upset.

This is literally how things turn from 'quaint country wife on walk with her pack' to real life injuries or worse.
WTF is a "quaint country wife"?!

Get. A. Grip.
I suggest you do the same.

OP posts:
Ncobvs · 15/01/2019 13:40

I wouldn't feel safe with that many dogs especially bigger ones and a baby in a carrier.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 13:42

In future I would ensure all the dogs are on their leads before you leave the field as that way you won't be blocking the path and will have total control of your animals before you come into close quarters with any other dog walkers.

Taken this into account @melj1213

OP posts:
petmad · 15/01/2019 13:44

when i take ours out they are well behaved but if im walking them and people are on the same path with dogs or kids etc i always crossover the dogs wouldnt do anything but some people and children dont like dogs so it is less stress all round we can all have a nice walk initerupted. i would have waited for you or crossed over even if you didnt ask. our too are barkers but thats them saying hello and wanting to play but i stand firm were on a walk get it lol

diddl · 15/01/2019 13:44

"Because they were under control, on leads. "

So it really doesn't matter that he walked past you with his dog on a lead!

itsalloverforanotheryear · 15/01/2019 13:45

It's illegal to walk more than four dogs. He was a cf though.

Aspergallus · 15/01/2019 13:45

DippyDiplodocus

It really doesn’t matter what was going on with the man (deaf, not English speaking, a wanker etc etc) you just can’t predict what you’ll encounter day to day and walking with this number of dogs and a baby in a carrier is madness.

We might be sold this instagram perfect lie of being baby wearing superheroes achieving everything we previously could and more, but the reality is far from that. You can’t really see your feet or the ground immediately in front of you. You really have to take care. Sometimes baby might cry or have a poonami and you need to deal with these things.

You tried to do something that relied on everything going well/being ideal. The reality is that you were likely to encounter other dogs and people who you can’t predict, and you tipped the balance against you coping if anything unexpected came up. And that’s just daft. I don’t even have one dog and go out with baby in the carrier alert and cautious of other people and dogs (some dogs will run and jump up or bark if baby is crying).

It is tempting to think we’ll carry on regardless when babies come along but perhaps it’s time to be more realistic. Could you use a dog walking service for a while?

DarlingNikita · 15/01/2019 13:46

WTF is this obsession with the OP supposedly being a 'cutesy/quaint country wife'? Confused Hmm

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 13:47

I would like to know the same @DarlingNikita I don't even know what it is supposed to mean Confused

OP posts:
zippey · 15/01/2019 13:48

if he didn’t respond when you called him a fucking arsehole then chances are he didn’t hear you in the first place.

You should consider having fewer dogs - 1 or 0 since you have a young child.

Jaxtellerswife · 15/01/2019 13:49

Yes @DippyDiplodocus you did say deaf person as well. Perhaps it's not everyone else being a bit silly...

dustarr73 · 15/01/2019 13:50

@PositivelyPERF Dont speak for all deaf people,we are not one huge group.

I am deaf not blind but the op was on the ground trying to put a leash on.She raised her hand and voice when he was further away.Maybe he didnt see how many dogs there were until it was too late.So he just kept walking.

I dont know how many times it has to be said,the onus is on the op not random people she meets out and about.

Ncobvs · 15/01/2019 13:51

I think if you know they can be unpredictable in a pack situation therefor that's why you asked him to wait you were taking too much of a risk. With a baby in a carrier I'd want to know I was in control all of the time not just in a certain set of circumstances. Even if they're really likely to be the ones that occur.

DarkArts · 15/01/2019 13:55

I don't know why people are piling in on you, afaic yanbu, I would have waited.

Finla · 15/01/2019 13:55

I hate MN sometimes for these replies...

I have a baby and walk my big dog with her in a sling, he should have waited and it's totally understandable that you were annoyed....

Russell19 · 15/01/2019 13:56

Wow the replies are harsh. He should have waited it's not hard. Would be interesting to know how many people replying have dogs!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 13:57

you did say deaf person as well. Perhaps it's not everyone else being a bit silly.

I think it’s very clear this OP sees what she wants to see and “forgets” adjusts as necessary what she doesn’t want to see.

Or perhaps that’s just me being “quite upset” Grin

appless · 15/01/2019 13:57

if he didn’t respond when you called him a fucking arsehole then chances are he didn’t hear you in the first place.

This. It's pretty weird that somebody would completely ignore you twice asking them to stop. To completely ignore you then calling them a fucking arsehole makes me almost 100% sure they either didn't understand you or didn't hear you.

dustarr73 · 15/01/2019 14:00

I dont have a dog now,but even i know 5 dogs and a baby in a sling over rough terrain is an accident waiting to happen.

Ok forget the fella with the dog,what if one of your dogs got spooked and you fell over,

I just dont uunderstand why you are taking that chance.

Yulebealrite · 15/01/2019 14:01

In a previous post I have admitted that this situation was not an ideal one and that changes will be considered and made.

I hadn't read the previous post when I made my last comment however this is what I was waiting for.

Thank you op, you have acknowledged that things could have panned out differently and that changes need to be made. Please protect your child and guarantee its safety by making sure you do make those changes. Not walking the pug is an easy change even if it is easy to look after in your home with the others.

JellyBears · 15/01/2019 14:01

Hi does a man walking past your dogs make them feel threatened? I’m not really sure he did anything wrong tbh, he walked past your dogs and they pulled you over...that’s not his fault.

CocoCharlie83 · 15/01/2019 14:02

If the other dog walker heard you then he was being inconsiderate bordering on being a twat but at least he had control of his dog. But the OP is an arsehole.

OP you knew that you were approaching a narrow section so why not put all the dogs on the lead in advance of it so you aren't in that position or affecting others?

Why are you taking so many dogs out when it clearly puts your child at risk? What happens if an incident occurred when all of the dogs were of the leash while you had your child? Having to do multiple walks isn't an excuse when it comes to a child's safety, get someone to look after your child or a dog walker for your dogs. And don't blame others for your lack of control of dogs which you are walking

MrsBandersnatch · 15/01/2019 14:03

Having lots of dogs means that whenever you go out you are an unruly flock of creatures
You dominate the space and everyone else has to bend to you*

Ain't that the truth. I cross the road when I see our local 'dog woman' approaching. The bloody things always bark. It's like they never saw a human before.

ElevenSmiles · 15/01/2019 14:07

This incident should really be a wake up call....for most people it probably would be, not the OP though...apt name Dippy.

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