To be furious over what has just happened?

[DippyDiplodocus]

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS I just despise people at times.

Bit rich to suggest that deaf and/or blind people curtail their activities, but never you! Oh no, 5 dogs (twitchy and reactive dogs) and a baby mean the world must bend to accommodate your chaos.

Curse my terrible typo fingers.

I meant one dog as in the dog that barked. Sorry for any confusion.

ONE dog became unsettled as the man and dog kept approaching

You’re rewriting history now OP

my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.

I didn't say that @IknowTheBoswellJoke
Think this is getting a bit OTT

I love these threads. Not only do the posters who apparently have perfect dogs who never react or have any emotive response to any situation ever come out, but we also get the posters who will come up with the most unlikely reasoning for the chap in question's behavior and spin it so it's the most likely response. "Could he speak english?" "was he wearing Airbuds?" "was he deaf/blind/ carrying 6 extra limbs?" - No, he was just being rude.

OP, to me you sound very in control of your dogs, recall is important, but I don't see why posters are bringing up their recall training here when the issue began when your dogs were already with you and sitting nicely.

This was a one time incident, and you are absolutely right it is common courtesy to put your dog on a lead when passing a dog who is also on a lead. If his dog was on a lead and potentially reactive, it is his job as well as yours to ensure all dogs in the vicinity are on leads. You did your bit and asked for a moment to be sure, he didn't do his.

Carry on enjoying your dogs and your walks, they sound lovely :)

To me it seemed like a change of story, I mean four large dogs twitchy and unsettled is different to one? Based on the information (which you now confirmed was a "typo", I would say you would not appear to be in control of your dogs. I based my response on that.

@ILoveMaxiBondi I totally agree...... I don't think this is going the way OP had hoped?

How to solve this situation, bearing in mind you can only control your own behaviour not anyone else's

"struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead"
= train your pug to recall reliably and sit nicely to have the lead put back on

"my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks."
=train your dogs not to be reactive even when held on lead with other strange dogs approaching; get friends with stooge dogs to help train this

"they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened."
=not acceptable behaviour unless they are working guard dogs; eliminate this behaviour

"One of mine pulled forward"
=as above your dogs should be able to sit nicely while other dogs pass, unless the other dog is charging aggressively at them

"called him a fucking arsehole."
=Don't insult random strangers for going about their business as they are entitled to do, it isn't his job to make your life easier.

Given that you cannot presume or rely on anyone else making things easier for you, the only thing you can do is work on the things you can control (your dogs).

We have a dog and I would never blame anyone else for causing him to react if they were just passing by. I would just work on training out the behaviour I don't want.

I am so very sorry @ILoveMaxiBondi for any confusion I may have caused you. I can see you are getting quite upset.
I am not re-writing history, I am simply putting right a mistake.

HTH

@timetostepup you quoted and agreed with someone who did think the sec was relevant?

That was in relation to the existence of men who like to bully women.

I assumed your comment was to do with the opinions of posters on this thread (as the man gave no opinion) and my comment on that had nothing to do with the sex of the poster. I have no idea what sex anonymous posters here are, although most (but not all) are women, I'd imagine.

Wearing headphones isn’t unlikely

Oh I'm sorry @Charlie97, were you present and saw it happen differently? We all make mistakes. Jeez.

Not read the full thread, OP, but I get the gist.
I feel for you, if you see someone struggling then the kind thing to do is help them out, surely?! Whether you think they ‘deserve’ to be struggling or not?
All these judgy people clearly are perfect/have perfect lives/dogs, but no basic human manners 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your argument is that the man should have known what you meant by a raised hand, and if he was deaf and therefore misread the signals then he shouldn't be there anyway!
It's obviously not a good route for a woman with 5 twitchy dogs, who won't be able to stop them on account of the baby she has strapped to her.

The area you describe sounds similar to where I walk my dogs. Like yourself I lead them on the road and let them off once we are on the field. When on our way back out the gate if anyone else is approaching I move my dogs back into the field area where there is space for everyone to pass.

I have 2 small dogs and walk them twice a day. The many dog walkers I come across who have no control over their dogs is frightening BUT it is seen as dog etiquette to put your dog on a lead if you see an owner heading your way, with a dog on a lead. And they will always stop and wait the seconds it takes for an owner to clip a lead on. In that respect the other dog owner was ignorant and unhelpful.

5 dogs and a baby in a sling!😱 I'm guessing you have only a couple of minutes walk with the dogs on lead before they are unclipped and allowed to burn off their energy? There is nothing at all wrong with dogs being exercised, off lead, in an open area where there is unlikely to be other people or dogs - or even if there are other people and dogs, provided the dogs have excellent recall and are not dog reactive or unfriendly towards people (or make a friendly nuisance of themselves by approaching other dogs or jumping on the owner). All dogs need to be exercised, daily. It would be cruel to keep dogs cooped up indoors, indefinitely.

The problem begins when someone is in charge of 5 dogs and a baby. There is no way on this earth can anyone be fully in control in these circumstances. I get that you're in a difficult position and applaud you for not dumping the dogs when the baby came along. The pug is one too many and not your responsibility. To start with you need to ditch the pug.

Just trying to think of ways that could keep you all safe. Could you, maybe, take two dogs at a time for half an hour during the daytime walk and enjoy a longer walk, altogether, when your DH comes in from work?

I can totally see that you are doing your best for your family. 4 large dogs and a young child is a recipe for disaster and that's before any potential problem is thrown into the mix.

This situation arose because of 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Should the man have waited a few seconds for you to sort yourself out? Sure he should have. Swearing at him wasn't a good move OP. Especially with a young baby strapped to you and your hands full of dog leads.

Hope you find a solution to your dog walking OP. And well done for not dumping them at the first hurdle

Would he even have seen your hand up gesture, if you were on the floor surrounded by 5 dogs, trying to get a lead on and trying not to fall over? A brief 'hand up' in that situation could be easy to miss, or just look like a small wave/acknowledgement. The fact that he didn't react to you swearing at him does suggest that he didn't hear you, a lot of people walking on their own have headphones in.

If I had a defenceless (muzzled) dog or a dog who got nervous around other dogs, I would also want to get as quickly as possible away from someone struggling to control 5 dogs.

@DippyDiplodocus in fairness if it was four twitchy and restless large dogs and not one, it does change the situation and how I feel about your control of the dogs.

I can see you are getting quite upset.

can you? Can anyone else see that I’m getting quite upset? perhaps another case of OP seeing things that aren’t there. (Like a smirk)

Your argument is that the man should have known what you meant by a raised hand, and if he was deaf and therefore misread the signals then he shouldn't be there anyway!
It's obviously not a good route for a woman with 5 twitchy dogs, who won't be able to stop them on account of the baby she has strapped to her.

No, you're wrong, again.
My "argument" was that he should have exercised a little bit of common courtesy.

Of course he can be there if he is deaf! Now you're just being ridiculous.

1 twitchy dog.

You obviously haven't read this properly.

@DippyDiplodocus yes we do all make mistakes and yours would be walking five dogs without adequate control. You've clearly got infinite amount of time on your hands judging by your level of posting continually refuting anyone's opinion that you could've avoided this. Perhaps use your time more efficiently by walking the dogs in twos?

Why post in AIBU if you’re so adamant you did nothing wrong?

He was inconsiderate, you were verbally abusive. Neither of you come out of this well.

Yes, if all four were out of control @Charlie97 of course the situation would be viewed differently but that was not the case.

You have said that at one point all the dogs were reacting, and then said how they were protective and would guard you and your dd.
Dogs, especially those in a pack situation, are unpredictable. You cannot expect total strangers to assess your bumbling dramas and react with courtesy 100% of the time. You need to not be so completely reliant on others avoiding your entirely avoidable lack of control.
What if your dogs had set upon this man? You wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing.
You have zero rights to inflict your lack of common sense on the public to this level. This is literally how things turn from 'quaint country wife on walk with her pack' to real life injuries or worse.
Get. A. Grip.

Honestly don't know much about dogs but would have seemed polite for him to just wait for you. You said you shouted at him to stop and also signalled with your hand. Sounds like he was being a bully and the smirk confirms this.

"You have said that at one point all the dogs were reacting,"

I think that that's the problem-even if he had waited & you had passed with all 5 on a lead you don't know what would have happened.