To not expect a sausage down my toilet!

[canibehereifimnotamum]

We're in the middle of selling our house so atm it's empty. Me or my DH will spend a night or 2 a week in there as we're still working around the area sometimes but it's mostly unoccupied. I've come here today and there is a lump of sausage down the toilet!!! What the hell! How has this even happened? H thinks it's from the sewers and been backed up? I don't know what to think but it's freaked me right out!!!!

It's a turd.

Ah worra, you at your best.

Estate agent has left he's calling card for you

Don't very the thread deleted, it's too funny. Just add a warning to not look at the photos or something.

So glad the sausage isn’t up the stick or next time you went there would be hundreds of chipolata running about the place.

^get

My 1 year old DD calls her poos a "sausage"... She's more accurate then she knows.

You say you found it after doing the test...? Of course it's negative, you've already given birth to your little sausage!

Crying with laughter here! I’ve had a shit day where I have actually been crying a lot and I’ve managed to flood the bathroom with a blocked toilet, so water all over the floor, just after I’d put all the towels I could have used to mop it up in the wash
It’s been leaking through the kitchen ceiling, too! More towels etc to wash.
(Nothing sinister blocking it. Our downstairs loo doesn’t flush, unless you pour water down it, which I do, so I keep any used toilet roll from me having a wee, then flush it upstairs when I go to bed. Obviously, trying to flush an entire roll’s worth in one go wasn’t very sensible
Well, it’s the accumulation of an evening’s worth
This has made me cackle our loud! And has fortified me for tackling the cleaning of the floor etc

I’m obviously pissed, or having some kind of weird nightmare about a not pregnant sausage in an empty house, or I might be on mumsnet

Oh please don't delete this thread mn!

PS I call DC2 Sausage

Who else wishes there were Like buttons etc on MN

Oh dear god, I thought I'd have a quick browse before going to sleep and now I'm in bed, literally crying with laughter. Sweet baby cheeses that's funny.

Crying with laughter here too and trying desperately not to wet myself! Please don't ask for the thread to be taken down OP, it's definitely a contender for classics.

This is MN at it's finest!

I can't believe I clicked on this [need a vomit emoji]

Well this is a real ‘who dun it’. Maybe.............., pregnant estate agent, in the bathroom, with a salami

Do you think it's a speciality sausage, or just bog standard?

Nice nails

Sherlock emoji are indeed available for the poster upthread. 🕵🏻‍♂️🕵🏻‍♀️

And who gets rid of casserole 2 days old, for Pete’s sake?!

OP, there’s defintely sufficient material in this saga to reboot the Sherlock franchise. I suggest you send this thread to Mark Gatiss.

I think one of my weird pregnancy dreams featured a sausage and a toilet....

Nice nails OP.
😂

I NEED to know the back story.

Has Lorena Bobbitt been around for dinner recently?

It looks more like a stuffed vine leaf than a sausage.
Has anyone been eating Greek or Turkish takeaway whilst they've stayed in the house?
Or maybe someone's running a Greek/Turkish takeaway from your house?
Or a Spanish takeaway if you think it's chorizo? Mind you it could be kabanos?