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To not expect a sausage down my toilet!

127 replies

canibehereifimnotamum · 14/01/2019 22:34

We're in the middle of selling our house so atm it's empty. Me or my DH will spend a night or 2 a week in there as we're still working around the area sometimes but it's mostly unoccupied. I've come here today and there is a lump of sausage down the toilet!!! What the hell! How has this even happened? H thinks it's from the sewers and been backed up? I don't know what to think but it's freaked me right out!!!!

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 14/01/2019 23:12

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin I'm actually laughing out loud!

LeeBird · 14/01/2019 23:12

That just made my evening Grin
Have you had some builders in? They could have flushed their unfinished lunch down the toilet unsuccessfully Envy
WARNING- T M I >>>
Only yesterday it has happened in our house: DP told me he had to fish out long strips of meat from the toilet bowl, where I poured 2-days-old bean/meat casserole. Flushed and went out without checking. When he went to toilet, meat was still floating.

Merryoldgoat · 14/01/2019 23:14

I can go to sleep happy now 😂😂

robininbrum · 14/01/2019 23:15

On another note, is it just me, or does anyone else think the shit smiley is REALLLLLY funny (and weirdly cute!) Grin

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WorraLiberty · 14/01/2019 23:15

This would have been the best "Am I pregnant? Can you see a faint line?" thread EVER Grin Grin

robininbrum · 14/01/2019 23:16

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robininbrum · 14/01/2019 23:16

Sorry one more then I promise I'll stop.

robininbrum · 14/01/2019 23:17

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Cel982 · 14/01/2019 23:17

DP told me he had to fish out long strips of meat from the toilet bowl, where I poured 2-days-old bean/meat casserole. Flushed and went out without checking. When he went to toilet, meat was still floating.

Why on earth are you chucking out casserole after only two days, and why down the loo of all places?! Confused

mrsglowglow · 14/01/2019 23:17

I've had two glasses of wine and have had to recheck and reread this post and examine your photos 5 times! I have just laughed so much at the sheer weirdness. Thank you! Sorry I couldn't say if this is a real shit or a chunk of sausage. Never thought I'd write a sentence like that on a Monday evening Grin

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 14/01/2019 23:19

Best thread ever.
Is it sausage or is it shit.
Is the sausage pregnant.
My pregnant sausage ended up in the toilet.
I'm pregnant with this sausage and yes I'm gonna keep it.

Just thinking of the Jeremy Kyle story lines.

curlies · 14/01/2019 23:20

Oh my god I'm howling

TokyoSushi · 14/01/2019 23:23

This is going to classics already! Grin

LordPickle · 14/01/2019 23:24

This is why I love MN Grin

BabySharkAteMyHamster · 14/01/2019 23:26

Fucking hell Grin

Surfingtheweb · 14/01/2019 23:28

Funniest thing & comments I have ever seen on MN 😂 I'm literally laughing out loud 😂😂😂

PutUpOrShutUp · 14/01/2019 23:28

😂 omg instantly thought of a thread I read days ago. Can't remember the title of the thread if I remember correctly where someone had a poo knife where they cut up their shit in pieces as it wouldn't flush.

Sorry OP gone off topic 😆

OVAgroundWOMBlingfree · 14/01/2019 23:30

Porking hell.

Celticrose · 14/01/2019 23:33

So no cocktail sausages expected to follow?
GrinGrin

PigletJohn · 14/01/2019 23:34

I haven't seen the pics and don't want to

but there are some people who think a WC is a waste disposal unit and will throw rubbish down it. I knew someone who dismantled one and found a chicken carcase jammed in it.

Nothing should go down the bog that hasn't passed through a human body, expect bogroll.

patsycrime · 14/01/2019 23:39

Are you sure it's not a severed body part ?

ShizeItsWeegie · 14/01/2019 23:43

Are you sure there isn't a stranger living in your loftspace and...ahem...using your facilities when you are out at work?

BigChocFrenzy · 14/01/2019 23:43

Well, at least the test was negative, so it's not a pregnant sausage

Could it be part of a snake that got chopped up somehow - they are pretty pungent
Urban legend has it that there are snakes lurking in the sewage system, ready to sneak up and bite you in the bum
Maybe someone's Labrador got to the snake first and saved your bum

TheNoodlesIncident · 14/01/2019 23:44

Is there a timescale for its appearance? Like, "we were here last weekend and it wasn't there then"? Otherwise, I'd think somebody was eating a roll or something with a sausage product in and the sausage fell out onto the floor, so they thought "Yuck, can't put it in the bin as they aren't being emptied, I'll just flush the bugger, it's like a turd anyway"

But who, is the question.

And why does OP have pregnancy test with her in the house that is currently empty?

I like your floorboards OP. Nice condition.)

lumpsofitroundtheback · 14/01/2019 23:44

Grin Grin Grin

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