To not give in to fussy eating child?

[Sausagefingers9]

He’s currently crying his eyes out that I’ve not given him what he likes to eat. I’m sick of him eating the same few things though, it’s ridiculous.
He’s a carb fiend and refuses all veg. A simple cheese sandwich is his ideal meal.

Today I’ve made a sausage pasta bake for dinner. It’s nice, very tasty. Me and ds1 have really enjoyed it.
He’s starving but absolutely refusing to eat it!

Aibu to let him go to bed hungry?

What age is he ?

How old?

I’d say YABU, until you figure out why he dislikes certain foods.

It depends on the age I suppose. How old is he?

He’s 4.

Has he always been this way? Any health or developmental issues?

I think he’s just very particular in what he likes and is also scared of trying new things.

I used to be exactly the same until I was an adult and learnt to keep on tasting things until I liked them.

I don't know but following because I have a fussy 3 year old...

I'm scared of trying new things too. Could you compromise and say 3 mouthfuls and then a cheese sandwich?

Absolutely not. You offered him tea, he refused it. My alternative at that point was a piece of bread and butter, an apple, a glass of milk, and bed straight after, because I knew they'd be tired because they hadn't eaten their tucker. If they refused that, then it was straight to bed.

However, at that age, I found that quite often they really didn't like food 'all mixed up', if you know what I mean, and if I gave them a sausage, some pasta, and some broccoli and carrots, it was far more likely to be eaten. . .

Ok I would take an approach somewhere in the middle.
I would offer the sausage casserole again, if he doesn’t want it take it away without comment, ignore any fuss but don’t make a fuss about it yourself. But id say he doesn’t have to have it now but there’s nothing else. Then in half an hour I’d offer something nutritious and plain - that he will eat but he isn’t going to love. Toast and apple/porridge/fruit etc.
I’d follow the same approach daily until he stops feeling there’s an issue around food and maybe will try stuff

Why don’t you give him something he likes. And get him to try your sausage thing with the pressure off?
I’ve never forced mine to eat things they don’t like, I’ve let them try new things when they want to. They do eventually

Yes he doesn’t like his food ‘all crazy’. I blitzed the sausage in with the sauce so there are no lumps. It looks like pasta in sauce.

He would love bread and an apple! It’s his ideal meal

my daughter has always been fussy but i refused to get upset and just served her what the rest of the family ate.I never got mad or angry at her i told her its her choice she can eat it or leave it.But if she at least trys it she will get a yogurt after.

What i did when she started being fussy is started offering her more variety just offer different things every night.Slowly she started trying new foods but it is tedious

Does he eat any fruit and veg? If he does I would offer him a plate of that and a glass of milk. I don’t let mine have toast if they don’t eat their dinner or they would just refuse dinner and eat toast.

I just wouldn’t make it an issue. Honestly. Ignore any fuss. Put it there, remove without comment, offer something plain later. And repeat.

IME a fussy eater isn't made into a non-issue eater by making mealtimes a battle ground.
YANBU for wanting him to be less fussy. But YABU by expecting a 4 year old to just stop being fussy.
My fussy eater took til the age of 8 before she would try food which wasn't acceptable to her without coercion. She will eat a much larger variety of foods now but still has certain 'rules' - no touching of different foods on the plate being one of them.
What worked for us was food she would eat with a bit to try. E.g. in your case, a cheese sandwich with a spoonful of pasta bake. He tries the pasta bake, likes it and can have more. He tries the pasta bake, doesn't like it. Never mind, just eat the cheese sandwich. Putting more pressure on the child can often make them more resistant to trying.
Mine will now happily try anything I put in front of her. Sometimes we find a new thing she'll eat. Sometimes a thing to try again at a later date. What she is willing to eat now is much more varied than I thought I would ever get to.
Hope that's helpful.
It's so hard and so difficult not to be frustrated with it all.

I have a 2yr old like this. Drives me nuts. Not quite there with not giving in yet, but one day!

My ex's daughter was like this. In her thirties now, her diet is the same as it was when she was a toddler. Thin dry toast, thin pizza with no toppings, thin chips (She will swap fat chips for thin ones from other people's plates). Raw carrots. Her mother just went along with it. She is tiny, about 4'10", weighs about 6 stone. Her sister and parents are normal sizes. She picks up every infection going, has problems with her bowels. My advice would be serve your son the family meal. When everyone else has finished, take his without comment. (Unless he's eating of course). Don't try to persuade him to eat, and ignore his protests while you chat amongst yourselves. If he has his cheese sandwich at lunchtime he won't starve!

I give mine a plate of veg crudités and oat cakes if they don’t eat dinner.

You don't seem to understand it if you think blending more foods together is helpful for that kind of child. You have much more chance of getting him to eat plain pasta with sausages and vegetables on the side than to eat it all mixed together.

I used to be exactly the same until I was an adult and learnt to keep on tasting things until I liked them

And did your parents leave you hungry if you didn't eat your dinner? If you were the same then you should know that there is no point forcing the issue. No way would I let kids go to bed hungry. Ds age 7 doesn't eat any fruit or any veg. I don't let it worry me as I daresay he will be like you and start trying stuff as an adult, in the same way I did.

YABU.

Never understood people that do this.

I think it creates issues and bad habits with food.

No he's only 4 don't send him to bed hungry. If he doesn't like things it's probably too much to be faced with a big plate of it and is expected to eat it.
Start smaller and give him things he likes.
Mine all disliked certain foods so I didn't make it. I don't eat food I don't like.

Not to mean too mean.

He’s not going to enjoy it if he’s forced. The very feeling of forcing something down can make people gag alone.

Don’t know where the too came from ^