To not give in to fussy eating child?

[Sausagefingers9]

He’s currently crying his eyes out that I’ve not given him what he likes to eat. I’m sick of him eating the same few things though, it’s ridiculous.
He’s a carb fiend and refuses all veg. A simple cheese sandwich is his ideal meal.

Today I’ve made a sausage pasta bake for dinner. It’s nice, very tasty. Me and ds1 have really enjoyed it.
He’s starving but absolutely refusing to eat it!

Aibu to let him go to bed hungry?

As a fussy eater I can tell you that making a big deal over meal times only adds to the stress and anxiety for a child.
Let him eat what he wants but try teaching him about food and all the yummy flavours that exist, turn it into fun not a Battle every meal time

Just give him a cheese sandwich and an apple. You have to pick your battles.

I highly recommend the book "Getting The Little Blighters To Eat" by Claire Potter. It has worked wonders for us in getting DS1 to eat and has taken all the stress out of mealtimes.

He lived on dairylea sandwiches, chicken nuggets, sausages and yoghurts until he was 6. In the last year, he has widened his range of food so much, it's lovely! Part of it was us understanding not to make a big deal about food and I think part was him growing up a little bit. He now eats chicken korma, spag Bol, pork chops, boiled eggs. He ate an apple at the weekend for the first time ever, after asking if he could try one. He's still fussy, but nowhere near as bad and doesn't just eat beige food now!

Oh Christ, the memories of meals like this with DD. Finally diagnosed with ASD and other stuff aged 16. Until then we were told it was our crap parenting that was the cause of all her odd behaviour and food fads. Tbh, I'd get this flagged up with GP and try for a referral to CAMHS, sooner checked out the better!

Allowing them to serve themselves helps with nerves of trying something new I find.

Yes it means sometimes one of them basically has a meal of carrots, but usually it means the new thing gets tried.

It's far less overwhelming for my DS (who a lot of people would say is fussy) to have a few spoonfuls of someting on a plate that he's nervous he won't like than a whole plateful.

He may have sensory issues. The 'take it or leave it' brigade often have no idea what it is like. There's a difference between a child who is fussy just to be awkward and one who.is genuinely upset because he cant face what's on offer. Give him what he likes, within reason, keep him happy :)

@BlueJag that dinner looks nice.

I will never understand those who turn trying new foods and mealtimes into battle grounds or power trips. Most young children outgrow their fears of new and different foods if given time. 4 is too young to be making this an issue. I know that trying to force food down will make me gag!

Stop looking at it as “giving in” and instead look at it as feeding your child

The moral is there isn’t a one size fits all - everyone has their own story that differs massively from the next one. FWIW I second the PP recommending “getting the little blighters to eat”

DS was fussy aged 2-3yo and now eats pretty much everything, definitely tries everything and is getting more adventurous with what he will eat and try (now 10yo)

DD became fussy about 17months! We tried everything and the book really helped take the battles out of it. My tactic now is to make sure I generally cook a meal I know she’ll like and deconstruct it if needs be (eg we all have chickpea curry over rice, she has plain chickpeas and plain rice andger carrots raw), but at least once a week I cook a meal I know she’s unlikely to like - but she gets a small spoonful to try and otherwise hasbread and butter, sardines, cucumber and carrots. When I realised that though she’s very particular about what food she eats and how she eats it, she does actually have a fairly healthy diet within those restrictions.

She’s now 7 and eats a lot more than she did but still what some people would call fussy but she now at least tries food and mealtimes are a pleasure not a battle. I’m in the camp of I think it’s cruel to send children to bed hungry and probably others would think I indulge my DD but I’m too aware and concerned about food issues and EDs. And yes it is about control, they can control so little at that age sometimes I don’t think it’s worth fighting just to show that over this too you have total dominion over their wants and wishes