To kiss my children while they're sleeping

[HettySunshine]

I'm entirely bemused and fairly certain I am not bu but I just want to see what the consensus is.

I was out with a friend today and we were chatting about our dc and sleep and various things and I mentioned that I always look in on mine before I go to bed to make sure they're still under the covers and to give them a kiss.

My friend looked shocked and said I should never kiss my dc while they're sleeping as they have not consented and I'm undermining there body autonomy.

I was a bit but I just moved the conversation on and didn't mention it again.

Does anyone else think IABU to kiss my sleeping children?

@Aprilshowerswontbelong Is she an ask before you change their nappy type also?

Yes, I heard this shit on the radio, over a year ago. Some woman, supposedly some sort of expert they were talking about all these things teach children that they don't have to consent and how this could lead them to accept sexual abuse. Tickling was being discussed and this woman was going on about how we should ask our children consent for changing their nappy. I mean wtf. I tickled my one year old today he was giggling do much, but it was really some sort of uneasy giggling and apparently it it abusive of me to tickle him.
www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/e09fc3c8-c4f8-4877-b598-309a04df37f6

Must have been this woman- Diane Carson. Nutter!

I used to love popping in to tuck my kids in, and would always give them a kiss. My mum did the same with my brother and I.
This time of year 8 years ago I was caring for my mum in her last few weeks I would sit with her at night and when she went to sleep I would give her a kiss and sit holding her hand.

YANBU, your friend sounds like a hippy nut job. I kiss mine before they go to bed... hard to kiss them after as they have bunk beds and it’s not easy to climb them without making a bloody r@cket 😂😂

Is your friend on crack?

This I dont like. I actually think if a child has expressly said they dont like something we shouldnt be doing it while they are asleep. Im a stickler for consent, though. I want DD to know that her body is hers.

I agree. It's one thing if the children are ok with physical affection in general and like kisses and hugs but it's a bit off when you know they don't like being kissed to ignore that and do it when they are sleeping because they can't ask you to stop. It's very different to kissing a sleeping child who is comfortable and enjoys kissing their family in general.

My dd 13 doesn't like being kissed at all by anyone and hasnt for years so as much as Dh and I would love a hug or quick peck on the cheek, I don't want it if it's not freely given and that she's ignoring her own boundaries to do it and she gets anxious when an adult tries to force or guilt her into it, hasn't happened in a while now but some people seem to think they are owed physical affection because they've bought her something and get offended when she just says thank you. I've spent years teaching her about consent and that she can and should say no to any unwanted physical affection if she's uncomfortable with it.

Neither of us kiss her in her sleep because she has asked us not to, she'd be very upset and freaked out if she thought we ignoring those boundaries.

According to your friend's ideas, I guess I best stop kissing my cat on his head while he's asleep!

Your friends the type that needs to make eye contact with a newborn before changing its nappy.... Yes there is a woman who told parents to do this. Absolute melter

Haha I am all for my children rejecting cuddles and kisses they don't want when they are awake but when they are asleep I wouldn't think twice about kissing them on the forehead and sometimes I even pick my eldest up (not my youngest as he would need resettling) and cuddle her, sometimes she wakes up and cuddles me back, it is our special cuddle time since her little brother came along, she rarely remembers it in the morning but she loves it when I tell her about it.

If she told me she hated it though I wouldn't do it

Jesus fucking Christ

I kiss mine on the forehead every night when I look in before I go to bed. ❤️
Best part of my day. Especially if I've been at work.

Worlds going mad.

Your friend either has issues from when she was a child, or she's cracked.
If she's an abuse survivor then I can see why she might be so extreme in her views - or if she's a counsellor to abuse survivors - but she's definitely taking it to an unreasonable extreme.

I'm 24 and I often wake during the night or in the morning when my mum comes in and kisses my head when I'm at home but tbh when she falls asleep with the TV on I go into her room, take her glasses off, turn off the TV and kiss her cheek or forehead. I also kiss my nieces and nephews on their heads or cheeks when I babysit and go up to tuck them in and there is nothing quite as sweet as being woken up on a morning after babysitting with one of my toddler nieces or nephews kiss me on the cheek, although they do alternate that by jumping on my stomach or smacking me in the head