Maid of honour wedding costs..

[JustBeenNosey]

I'm maid of honour for my best friends wedding in June.

I must say, it's the easiest MOH job ever, because she wants everything to be her way and perfect.

The Hen Do is looking at about £100 for an overnight stay and spa thing..
The makeup trail is costing £40 and the girl isn't even that good!
The bridesmaid dresses that we have to pay for that's she's just sent in the group chat range from £115-£225!!
The rooms at the place where they're staying are £100 per night - splitting it with another bridesmaid the night before but me and my bf have recently split up so the second night I will be paying on my own.. so £150 for the rooms.

AIBU to think that not everyone has all this spare money to throw away?!
And AIBU by telling her that I and probably some other people won't be able to afford all this?

I’d shes picking the dresses she pays. She’s taking the piss there.

Do you have to stay night before? Personally I’d go up on the day. Or could you not stay there night after? Either head home or stay somewhere cheaper locally?

Hen night sounds ok.

She should be paying for make-up or let you do it yourself.

So yanbu.

Expecting BMs to pay for dresses and make-up is really bad form IMO. I can appreciate it's difficult to speak up, but that's the expense I would have taken issue with.

Assuming you've had plenty of notice, £100 for a Hen do seems fairly cheap, and £100 a night for a hotel isn't extortionate.

However IMO, if there was an expectation that you stayed the night before I think the bride should pay for that.

Bride pays for the dresses if she chooses them!

The bride should pay for the bridesmaid dress, hair, make up and so on.

It's about half an hour away from where we live where she's getting married and she wants us all to stay the night before because she wants us up at 6am to start getting ready. I said she can piss off, I'll have the last slots for the hair and makeup. 😂

Yeah to be fair the Hen Do isn't that bad but I think everything else as well it's just all adding up and getting me stressed out! I feel like running away and going into hiding.

We're all meant to be going to look at some of these dresses on Saturday.
I'm quite fat so will need a plus size/made to measure dress so it's not as easy as picking 5 size 10 dresses online and they'll fit perfect 🙈

6am for hair & makeup what times the wedding?

One of my bridesmaids was 8 months pregnant at my wedding so I paid for a made to measure dress for her. Your size doesn't come in to it!

My friends hen do ended up costing me over £1,000; and that’s after I scaled her back from Ibiza 🙄

I have no idea what the wedding itself cost me...

She also bought the bridesmaid dress without me trying it on and then expected me to fatten up into it - it was strapless and literally fell off me - the shoes were also 2 sizes too small.

Honestly, you’re getting off lightly, but if it’s going to bother you then say something.

Best to voice any finance concerns now than wait till later.
Be nice about it, but honest.

The hotel room thing sounds standard, but such expensive dresses sounds a bit OTT! And do you really need your make up trial? You're not the bride. Better yet do your own make up.

@username7000 oh don't even get me started. 😂😂😂
I don't even know what time they're getting married.. maybe 1?

@Popfan that's what I'm thinking. We're going to look at Debenhams and Quiz at the weekend to see if there's anything we see and like the look of.
Quiz do a nice dress and it's only about £80 which I don't mind paying for. I'm not gonna wear it again. I HATE wearing heels and dresses.

Oh that's something else we'll need to pay for.. shoes 😂

@MisstoMrs oh my god! 😂😂

Their venue is costing about 14 grand.. in total about 20 grand or even maybe more it's costing them.

@SuziQ10 I know I feel really bad though and feel like I sound like a cheapskate but I have my own like and want to do my own thing as well with my wage rather than putting it all away for her wedding 🙈

I've spoke with the other bridesmaid and she thinks bride to be is BU.
I guess I'll have to suck it up, grow some balls and speak to her🙈

Have a look on Little Mistress. They do lovely bridesmaid-type dresses and sell them in Debenhams, so you can try on in Debenhams but order on Little Mistress. They generally do 10-20% off first orders and they're always sending discount codes for up to 25% off.

@TokenGinger I think we've looked at them and from what I remember they only go up to a size 16..

@JustBeenNosey Oh really?! 😩 That's rubbish then. The sizes aren't too generous, either! Xx

Tell her you don’t want to be a maid of honour

If she is picking the dresses she pays. The “ but you can wear them again” is BS I’ve never worn a bridesmaid dress again mainly as what is picked is not something I would buy in the first place.

If she wants professionally done hair and makeup then again she pays.

If she wants you to stay overnnight the night before when you live nearby as she wants to start getting ready early. Remind her you’re an adult you can be there on time in the morning or she can pay for it.

Basically remind her you don’t have a money tree at the bottom of your garden to help fund her wedding.

@TokenGinger I think so yeah! There's some websites we've looked on that are made to measure but I'm guessing they'll be about £150 🙈

I feel awful but I feel like I'm not worthy of MOH title. Can you pass it on to someone else 😂😂🙈

@onlyk yeah I might just say I'll drive over in the morning of the wedding but with me being MOH she said she wants me there to make sure everything's going to plan.

Look at Chichi - they do plus size dresses suitable for bridesmaids.

@Merryoldgoat oh thank you! I'll have a look

She sounds mad. I picked the dresses with my bridesmaids and I know for a fact they were worn again but I still paid for them. I paid for everything bar the hen do as I was of the opinion that they were doing me a favour and they shouldn't be out of pocket for it. I also got them a present. DH was the same with the groomsmen. Bought them new suits etc. We budgeted for it.

Yeah sorry but if she's picking the dresses she pays, otherwise she tells you a colour scheme and general style and you get to choose within your budget. I also don't think she can insist on a a particular professional make up artist and trials etc unless she's paying.

Resign. Who needs that shit in their lives?

She is really cheeky expecting you to pay, I would have a say in what your wearing if she is expecting you to pay. I think you need an honest chat with her.

This is madness. I was MOH for my best friend and all I paid for was my share of the hen do (which worked out at about £175) which was a 2 night break away in country lodges with nails and massage treatments, group dinner one night and breakfast provisions along with covering the brides costs between all the hens.

Bride paid for dress which I got to choose myself, she just specified colour. She also paid for hair and makeup including a trial, jewellery and night before wedding at the venue. We wore our own shoes as she simply stipulated black and everyone has black dress shoes/sandals.

I think it’s pretty mean spirited to expect bridesmaids to pay for all those things themselves unless bride and groom are really strapped for cash and totally upfront about it from the very beginning and they are allowed to pick their own dress/budget and do own hair and makeup if they would prefer to save cash.