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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Maid of honour wedding costs..

90 replies

JustBeenNosey · 13/01/2019 20:23

I'm maid of honour for my best friends wedding in June.

I must say, it's the easiest MOH job ever, because she wants everything to be her way and perfect.

The Hen Do is looking at about £100 for an overnight stay and spa thing..
The makeup trail is costing £40 and the girl isn't even that good!
The bridesmaid dresses that we have to pay for that's she's just sent in the group chat range from £115-£225!!
The rooms at the place where they're staying are £100 per night - splitting it with another bridesmaid the night before but me and my bf have recently split up so the second night I will be paying on my own.. so £150 for the rooms.

AIBU to think that not everyone has all this spare money to throw away?!
And AIBU by telling her that I and probably some other people won't be able to afford all this?

OP posts:
snitzelvoncrumb · 14/01/2019 05:27

Just an idea but could you set a budget that you are comfortable with, and let the bride know she needs to keep the costs under that, or pay the difference.

lalalalyra · 14/01/2019 05:38

If the wedding is in June she's cutting it a bit fine for made to measure dresses surely?

JustBeenNosey · 14/01/2019 07:22

@snitzelvoncrumb if she finds dresses she likes but are expensive, I'll tell her I can't afford it. The more I'm thinking about it, the more I'm coming to realise that she probably is been abit unreasonable in making us pay for this stuff 😖

Oh well, I've told her my concerns and I suppose I can't do much more than that now 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 14/01/2019 07:30

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses I think they were £50 from TFNC.
I also paid for their rooms the night before the wedding.
I didn’t pay for makeup as we all did our own. 1 of my bridesmaids had their hair done with me and they paid for their own. The others just did their own.
£15 drinks?! I spent less on my wedding and had a free bar. Luckily everyone in our friendship group has free bars at weddings.

JustBeenNosey · 14/01/2019 08:25

@3WildOnes obviously £15 drinks is an exaggeration but drinks are typically expensive at weddings 😂
I'll be taking a bottle of vodka to keep in the room to keep topping my drinks up with hahah

OP posts:
HostessTrolley · 14/01/2019 08:38

There’s a website called bliss extra that does made to measure dresses in about 40 different colours for about £90-100, I was just looking at them as prom dresses x

areyoureallysaying · 14/01/2019 08:43

Sometimes I wonder if these people are real!
If you ask someone to be your bridesmaid/ MOH you pay for their dress and hair (If you have a specific look you want) end of !
As for makeup I have never heard of a BM having a trial! Surely thats only necessary for the bride.
If she's a proper friend you should be able to have this conversation with her and if not then you really shouldnt be a MOH

JustBeenNosey · 14/01/2019 08:52

@HostessTrolley thank you! I'll have a look

OP posts:
Bungalowbeth · 14/01/2019 08:58

Takes the piss, I paid for everything re my bridesmaids bar the hen night (which was just a standard piss up) which included hotel the night before, make up, hair , dresses, jewellery and even shoes.

Veganforlife · 14/01/2019 12:57

June is ages away ...you can back out .you can say no.

Pinkroseuk · 14/01/2019 13:03

I'm also bridesmaid for best friend in June -
Dresses she's paid for -
We have paid for shoes £5 from primark but will have to buy others as there not comfy
Hen do £450 including accommodation for two nights that's 20 mins away from home-
So far travel to dresses for trying oh that's £100 as so far away.
It all adds up!

JustBeenNosey · 14/01/2019 13:12

@Pinkroseuk oh Jesus! That's a lot. She was looking at something else for an overnight stay which was £200 and then a day spa the day after for £100.. I went away for a hen do last year for 4 nights in Portugal for £400!

OP posts:
Pinkroseuk · 14/01/2019 13:19

Yes I have to decide by next week if I stay over or just drive there and back -
It means the hen do or a holiday for us this year so will probably end up driving and not doing the cocktail making!

JustBeenNosey · 14/01/2019 13:21

@Pinkroseuk I know that I wouldn't be staying over but I'm a tight arse 😂😂

OP posts:
Pinkroseuk · 14/01/2019 13:58

No i am too! Think it will be a holiday with hubby!

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