To ask how often your DP plays on his Xbox/PlayStation?

[chxjw]

Just curious.

My DP is on it every night, I often find myself retreating upstairs just to watch a bit of telly in the bedroom

I understand occasionally but this is every night and he's often talking loudly on the headset at all hours to his friends.

AIBU?

It's just horses for courses, innit? I wouldn't want to marry a football fan who spent hours and hours a week watching their games as it's something I have zero interest in, or a really avid fitness fanatic, but gaming is a shared passion so I'll happily marry a gamer (especially given we met via online gaming and are now expecting our first child together!).

The problem is that so often on these threads, the insinuation (and often not just an insinuation but people outright stating it) is that adults who enjoy gaming are somehow immature, pathetic, incapable of being responsible. I'm sure some of them are, just like there seem an abundance of feckless partners in general on MN who have a range of hobbies not limited to gaming. But the two things don't go hand in hand. If you have an uninterested and uninvolved partner, then you have a partner problem. It's easy to blame gaming/football/any of the nebulous 'hobbies' that Mumsnet men always seem to be engaged in, but the reality is that it's nothing to do with any of these things.

I’d play PlayStation everyday if I could I’m so jealous!

He doesn’t but he outgrown gaming by his teenagers years and rather be a a husband, and father to his family.

Most Fridays he'll play for a few hours with friends, and occasionally in the week - maybe 1 or 2 nights once or twice a month. Doesn't bother me in the slightest - not least because I used to play a very well known MMO regularly for about 12 years.

He doesn’t but he outgrown gaming by his teenagers years and rather be a a husband, and father to his family.

And right on cue to illustrate my point!

Of course, plenty of men are capable of enjoying a hobby whatever it might be and being a husband and a father, just like women are capable of being things other than a wife and a mother (presumably) and having their own interests too. I'd hope my partner doesn't just identify himself as a 'husband and father' – he's an individual in his own right who deserves to have his own interests, just as I deserve to have mine.

Never! He's doesn't have one (I think, or if he does, it's at the back of the garage burried under boxes)

"He doesn’t but he outgrown gaming by his teenagers years and rather be a a husband, and father to his family."

Yawn.

@chxjw
My husband is a grownup so he’s more interested in trying to limit the time his nephews and DS play, I suggest you tell your manchild to do likewise...

He doesn’t but he outgrown gaming by his teenagers years and rather be a a husband, and father to his family.
wow just wow

I'd hope my partner doesn't just identify himself as a 'husband and father

Heh I thought the same.

Very rarely these days (since having) we both used to play a lot before and both miss it but family comes first 🤷🏼‍♀️

It comes in waves. When there's a new game out my DP (or I, depending on the game) will binge-play it for a week or two like a good series. Then weeks without anything.
Don't see an issue with your DP doing it everyday as long as it's not for too many hours.

Oops - Meant to say (since having kids!)

People have different interests. I’m sure you sit down watch tv, listen to music, read a book? How is it different using your free time doing something you enjoy?

I'm just sitting here wondering exactly how he husbands and fathers. I have a mental image of him standing next to the fireplace like you used to see in films from the 1950s, just looking supportive and saying "Don't worry darling, I'm here to be a husband and a father."

In other news, my DH manages to combine gaming with being a husband and a father quite well.

Pre-baby - probably for a couple of hours at a time, a couple of times a week in the evening particularly if I had early night.

Post-baby - Ummmm I actually don't think he has turned it on once and DD is 2.8yrs old now...

He has a guys night every Tuesday, it an mean having games at Home with mates or going to the cinema. He will maybe play it everyday for a week but then won't play for a few months. We just talk about it, he asks if it's ok, I can entertain myself. If it was every single day indefinitely? Well that wouldn't happen. We did have to have words when we were young but generally we talk. He's not a gamer though, he enjoys playing games but it isn't his life or anything.

Never!

Of course not all gamers are irresponsible feckless idiots, however the obsessive nature of gaming seems to make many partners, and indeed parents, unhappy - hence they come on here to complain - and Of course gaming isn't the only hobby thst people become obsessive about

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

I’ve never seen such an apt username.

✊🏻💦

Haud I sincerely hope you don't have any hobbies then, and only see yourself as a wife and mother.

Equality and all that

Never. But I play The Sims almost every night. The computer is in the living room tho so he is there watching tv and we still talk.

DH will play Xbox when I'm out of an evening, but only after DC are in bed. When I get home he'll either finish up & spend time with me or if its late and I'm tired he'll keep playing while I go to bed. He also plays Sunday mornings, the DC also have screen time then & I sleep in or read in bed. We make sure to finish up by 9.
I have no interest in gaming but I do appreciate it's a social thing for DH, he will play with friends who live overseas. So I don't mind if he spends some time on Xbox, so long as it doesn't take away from time with me or DC