Advice on financial situation...

[Midnightspecial]

A & B are a couple, together 7 years and living together.

Person A earns £25k a year and has approximately £10k in savings.

Person B earns £76k a year and has £94k in savings, plus a further £18k inheritance just recieved.

Couple need to put money towards something this will cost roughly £18-20k and is to be split 50/50 so each person pays £9-10k each towards it.

Person A has piped up now the inheritance has come through and said that they feel it isn’t ‘fair’ that they have to wipe out their life savings completely and that they want to pay less than half. When asked why, they have just said it doesn’t feel right that one person is left with nothing and the other left with a lot.

Person B thinks that it isn’t fair that they pay more. That it was agreed half and, really, that’s that.

Thoughts?

Person A is right. There in a committed relationship and sharing a life and future. It’s weird to keep finances so separate. And it’s totally unfair to split things 50/50 when one party has vastly more than the other. They should contribute proportionately to their respective means.

*they’re

It does depend what it is. And why with the person a and b crap? Makes it hard to follow.

It would depend on what it is but I kind of agree with A. B has more than 10 times the savings of A so paying for all this thing won't really make a difference.

Could B but and own it but A get use of it?

It depends on the future intentions of the relationship, whether the item is something that A would buy if B wasn’t earning so much, whether the item will have an resale value in the case of a split, etc etc etc. I would say after 7 years it’s time for a serious conversation about how the partnership is going to work in the future.

It depends on the relationship. If they are a committed couple who are planning a future together, then I would say that person B should pay it all as they can easily afford it and person A cannot. Person B is being very selfish and not acting as if they are in a committed relationship.

Couple not married they should pay 50:50. Couple married B should pay.

Person B is right. You've not mentioned marriage so they have no legal commitment which technically means they are just dating. Therefore everything should be 50/50 as both could walk away at any point.

Unless it's house deposit and the unequal shares can be protect by legal documents if both happy to do so but B obviously feels taken advantage of.

If I were person A I'd be considering whether the relationship with a tight bastard had a future.

B is being massively tight.

I’m guessing they are in a committed relationship and have over 100k in savings. Yet he/she would rather their partner was left with nothing.

Oooh... I think OP might be person B from the "piped up" comment. That seems like it had some spite behind it. So they won't like these answers (or they are person A and just quoting what has been said about them).

A is right. Committed relationship and living together then financial split should be proportionate to salary. Once married, all money should be family money.

It depends on the relationship. I think in all serious long-term relationships money should be pooled and all purchases come out of the common pot. What's mine is yours. If you disagree about how money should be parcelled out, I think that's a danger sign, so it's good you're aware of it now.

A should pay 25%, B should pay 75%.

It is actually for a wedding, if that makes any difference.

I’m guessing your B as you have put ‘piped up’ about A.

If I was A I wouldn’t even want to marry you. You sound tight as hell.

Sorry but have to agree with a pp. As the couple are not married and to now appear to have kept finances seperate than 50/50.
If they had been married then even the inheritance becomes 'joint' money even if finances kept seperate so different.
Also sounds like person B doesn't see future sharing of finances - could they be one of the 'don't believe in marriage' people who will someday turn around and marry someone else.

Your wedding to each other? Then B is a tight bastard. If you're going to be married, having a future together, possibly children etc then money should be shared completely. Both partners should have equal access to all the money.

Are they in the UK??? Once they are married it all becomes shared anyway...

If I were person A I'd be considering whether the relationship with a tight bastard had a future

And if I were B I'd be wondering if they wanted me for me or my money given they were not willing to be an equal.

Doesn't bode well for the future if they think everything should just be handed to them.

Oh just saw it was for a wedding, agree I wouldn't marry B. Not a good indicator if things have to be 50/50 for a wedding.

It does make a difference for me. I was thinking some sort of home repair, and in that instance I think 50/50 is best. But for a wedding? Person B should pay for it, I think. Why would you want to wipe out your spouse's savings for what is essentially an expensive party?

B's going to have a shock after the wedding (always assuming it takes place).

I would like to know what this thing is. I would say the fairest is 50:50, but then I'm very financially independent and wouldn't depend on a DP's higher salary to live better than my means allow.

One thing is being given a gift or your DP offering to pay more. Another thing is expecting they will always pay more which isn't fair.

Is it something they’ll both use equally?

Assuming it is, if I was person B I would honestly happily offer to pay more. If I was person A I’d be looking for a way to reduce the total cost so that if I was paying half, half was less. Depending what it is, I probably would not be willing to wipe out all of my life savings on something so I would say to person B that I can’t afford it and it will have to be reduced or not bought until I had more money saved.

Male perspective - do you really want to marry that guy if this is how he rolls?