Advice on financial situation...

[Midnightspecial]

A & B are a couple, together 7 years and living together.

Person A earns £25k a year and has approximately £10k in savings.

Person B earns £76k a year and has £94k in savings, plus a further £18k inheritance just recieved.

Couple need to put money towards something this will cost roughly £18-20k and is to be split 50/50 so each person pays £9-10k each towards it.

Person A has piped up now the inheritance has come through and said that they feel it isn’t ‘fair’ that they have to wipe out their life savings completely and that they want to pay less than half. When asked why, they have just said it doesn’t feel right that one person is left with nothing and the other left with a lot.

Person B thinks that it isn’t fair that they pay more. That it was agreed half and, really, that’s that.

Thoughts?

But they can afford it if B puts their hand in their wallet.

Wiping out one half of the couple's life savings for a wedding is total madness.

B is being a nasty piece of work about this UNLESS it's A who's insisting on a £20k wedding and B would be happy with a £2k event.

If I can only afford something if someone else pays for it, then I can't afford it!

I wouldn't marry someone tight. Very unattractive quality.

It should be proportionate.

For gods sake OP just tell us who is A and who is B. It’s impossible to write these things up neutrally and it’s so obvious that you are B it’s actually making me wonder if you are A!

I wouldn't marry B. In fact, I wouldn't have ever lived with B. I think 50/50 is for flatmates. In a committed relationship it should be proportional.

I think if the OP isn't A or B, they're B's parent.

Doesn’t bode well for a marriage or equals does it

I think B should be paying for the whole wedding.

Annie I think you have cracked it!!

In which case OP is unlikely to come back

I think OP is person B. In the original post, Person A thinks it isn't "fair," but Person B thinks it isn't fair. I think the use of the quotation marks makes it clear whose side OP is on.

Which one is a bloke?

The wedding is A & B’s yes.

I won’t say whether I’m a relative of A or B or either A or B themselves. Lots of family members on here from both sides, easily recognisable situation.

The responses have been very helpful though, thank you.

Think @ReanimatedSGB has it right here.
Whoever wishes for a expensive wedding should be paying the appropriate amount.
If both are equally keen, then the amount paid should be allocated in relation to available resources.

If A and B really are planning to get married they would be wise to spend some more time discussing how joint finances are going to work after the wedding. B earns 3 x as much as A so how are household expenses, mortgage repayments etc. going to be split? 50:50 or proportional to income.
What is going to happen about joint savings?
B has 10 times A's savings.
Disaster waiting to happen unless this has properly been worked out. Doesn't bode well.

I was person A in this scenario.

The reason I only earned A was because I pissed about at uni, went travelling, and then had a piss-easy stress free job which started around 10, had a lovely long lunch, and I left around 5 for the day.

Whereas (now dh) was B. 7 year degree, 10 hour working days, stressful.

No, I never felt he should pay my way. His salary was his choice and he earnt every penny of it.

B needs to pay all of it, I think. Finances become joint after the wedding anyway even if technically they are in separate accounts.

When I lived with my now husband we got a joint account as soon as we lived together and had a mortgage, this was after about 5yrs together. Probably quite unusual esp as I was only 22 at the time but that's how we wanted it.

Just depends on how committed the relationship is but seeing as this is to pay for a wedding, totally different.

Theyr'e not much of a couple, are they? I wouldn't be spending my life savings to marry a mean bastard like B! Will A be expected to pay half of everything in future? What if A has no money, how will B react?

I think person B is being unreasonable and proportionate split would be fairer. I can’t imagine splitting cost of our wedding down the middle regardless of Income/savings disparity - tho’ we went to Vegas instead. But at the time of our marriage we were paying proportionate amounts into a joint account anyway, reflecting different earnings.

I'm fairly old fashioned about marriage. If A and B are really intending to marry for life, and if they are hoping to have children one day, then their money should be family money. B should pay for the wedding since B has the money. As soon as they are married they should have a joint account organised so that they each have equal spending money after bills. If this idea gives B palpitations then A should reconsider the marriage.

I agree it depends on the level of commitment in the relationship.

What about a percentage - 20% of A's salary is 5,000 and 20% of B's salary is around 15,000 - 20,000 both have put 20% of their salary's worth in.

I meant = 5,000 + 15,000 = 20,000

With my ex we used to pro rata everything based on our individual earnings, all the bills etc...

So in This case, A would pay 25% of the cost and B 75%. That seems a fair way to do it and going forward too I’d theyre going to have separate finances