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Original poster

To accept Child Support years later

99 replies

Childsupport · 13/01/2019 11:12

I'd love some opinions on this please!

ExH lied to CSA/CMS for about 4 years, about his Salary. He managed to convince them, that he earned significantly less than he really did. He was earning £130k+ , but they believed he was earning £60k, then 32k, then £50k. It was a right mess, and I was flabbergasted that CSA/CMS didn't query a fluctuating salary, especially when I repeatedly told them that it was wrong, but they didn't.

I wrote to complain, and long story short, it would appear that this whole sorry mess has caught up with him, because my complaint was taken seriously. Albeit, it's actually taken them 3 years to investigate this, due to huge backlogs. Apparently the CMS can now get salary info direct from HMRC, so his lies have been revealed.

It's now 3 years since the youngest child in the case went to Uni, so there is no longer a current child support arrangement (we both send the same level of financial support to each child, even though ExH earns over £100k more than me).

The other day, I woke up to a text saying that I have a payment coming to me. Total surprise! Anyway, the CMS are now re-calculating everything and I will be getting paid the "arrears".

Should I accept this? It feels weird because, like I say, both kids are at Uni and I don't receive child support any more.

I know for a fact, that he will be seething that he has to now start paying me money, long after the kids left home, iyswim.

OP posts:
divadee · 13/01/2019 11:23

No. Take it. You have paid to bring your children up while their feckless father tried to squirm out of paying. You could keep it aside to give to your children for a house deposit etc...... If you wanted to.

Kelpiex2 · 13/01/2019 11:23

Of course the money should be accepted. It's rightfully your children's. If you don't accept it then it'll send a message that you never needed it and anyone thinking of doing the same as him will get away with it.

Original poster
Childsupport · 13/01/2019 11:26

Thanks for replies. The things is, I don't really need it now, but it would have been very much appreciated at the time! He is incredibly tight with money. He could afford to support them through Uni, but will only match whatever I give, in terms of financial support, even though he earns 5x what I do!

OP posts:
meow2019 · 13/01/2019 11:26

Yes you should take it. He owes it to you.

BreevandercampLGJ · 13/01/2019 11:27

Take it.

He deliberately set out to deceive you and keep you short.

There must have been times when money was tight, but you managed and pushed on through.

Roughly how much is it per month, and how long will he be paying your for could you top up your pension every month ?

CloserIAm2Fine · 13/01/2019 11:27

Definitely accept it!

If you feel wrong keeping it yourself (and you shouldn’t! Look at is as a refund of things you’ve paid for that he should have paid for) then save it for DC.

But he absolutely should be paying this and you should absolutely accept it

Confusedbeetle · 13/01/2019 11:27

Take it

potatoscone · 13/01/2019 11:28

Yes of course take it, why would you not? It's money he should have given you years ago.

whatifido · 13/01/2019 11:28

Take the money and use it for the uni expenses etc.
If there is anything left over then split it between the kids if you feel bad about using it yourself. Its money he owes them!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 13/01/2019 11:28

Accept it, definitely! If you don't want to spend it yourself, pass it onto the kids either directly or by treating them.

WatchingFromTheWings · 13/01/2019 11:29

Definitely take it! Even if you just stick it in a high interest savings account....the kids may need it for something later on.

W0rriedMum · 13/01/2019 11:29

Take it and quietly use to fund their university. Put your own money into your pension or ISAs.
He was happy to cheat you - now be happy to get the money back.

Belindabauer · 13/01/2019 11:29

Take it.
Your ex is a twat, let him seeth.

ImNotKitten · 13/01/2019 11:29

Take it and pass it straight on to your DC if you feel strange about keeping it yourself.

KitKatCHA · 13/01/2019 11:30

Take it, no question. He screwed you over for years and now he's getting his just desserts.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 13/01/2019 11:31

Take it. You can always stash it for your kids for deposits/cars etc. It is rightfully yours.

Jackshouse · 13/01/2019 11:32

Take it!

Spend some of it on yourself and if you want keep some for your kids either uni costs or for house deposit.

Thehop · 13/01/2019 11:32

Take it and put it away for the kids so he has to “match” it. Double whammy the squirmy twat.

Ghanagirl · 13/01/2019 11:32

Another one saying take it!

Leatherandsilk · 13/01/2019 11:32

Take it and if you don’t need it put it in a savings account for the kids, maybe a car/house payment in future.

Or go on a REALLY expensive holiday and send him the photos of you looking fabulous.

In fact save the money and fake the photos to piss him off anyway Grin

wildone03 · 13/01/2019 11:35

100% take it.. smiling with every payment deposited knowing he will be pissed! Put it in a savings account. Take the kids on holiday, new car etc.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 13/01/2019 11:36

Take the money. Don’t even think of rewarding him for lying about this and withholding support from his children.

PregnantSea · 13/01/2019 11:36

Take the money.

He lied to the CSA in order to deprive his own children.

If he was uncomfortable with the arrangement he could have put on his big boy pants and talked to you about it to come to a compromise, but instead he lied and stirred up shit.

He owes you that money. Do not feel weird. If he seething then let him seethe.

TeenyW123 · 13/01/2019 11:36

The same sort of thing happened to me. My exh is now paying directly to my 28 yo son the arrears he owes from the 1990s and 2000s at £40 pm.

I originally said no, don’t bother. But son has 3 littlies of his own and money is tight for them. Son said go for it.

It appeared to come to light during the change from CSA to CMA.

SimplyPut · 13/01/2019 11:36

Take every penny you are owed. I imagine it will be in the thousands.

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