I think I have a cf

[Ourmaud]

So we live in a cul de sac and facing the road is our driveway and side garden. Front door is on the other side. For a few weeks I’ve been noticing the same car driving up blocking the dropped kerb for our drive and a lady getting out and having a fag sitting on our garden wall.
That’s fine, I haven’t needed to go out when she’s been there. Her habit isn’t affecting me.
This week I was picking up the dogs mess and noticed that there’s tons of fag butts in my garden. She’s obviously just been slinging them over the fence.
Today I waited till she arrived and I went out to her to ask her to take her rubbish with her and not throw them in my garden. She told me to get fucked and she will do what she likes.
I didn’t really have any comeback for that so scuttled back inside.
Being both a coward and a nosy bitch I jotted down her car reg. Lo and behold the DVLA website says it’s not mot’d.
WIBU to tip off whoever enforces those things next time I spot her? She’s pretty regular time wise.

I actually doubt she’s going to come back. She wanted the last word, hence the aggressive “i’ll Do what I want” but I’d be surprised if you see her again now you’ve called her out.

What's she doing in your cul-de-sac (other than being a complete twat)? Is she visiting someone or has she just chosen this particular place for a fag break? The trouble with getting too nasty about it is she knows where you live! I think dog poo on your wall might end up coming back through your letter box.

Def report her car though.

I would hose her from a distance!! Hehe she sounds like a right cow, I wouldn’t be able to accept her defacing my property and speaking to me like that. Can you park your car there? If not I would defo hose her!! Hehe. And totally would report but almost certainly nothing would be done.

Poor some cooking oil on the wall ???

Rub half a pound of lard across your wall, that will cure her.

Normally I would say no to such vindictive behaviour but in this instance... Telling you to get fucked on your own property?? She really did ask for it lol

Have you checked it’s insured on the motor insurance bureau?
I’d get a motion sensor sprinkler.

I have heard of people putting litter back into the car from where it was thrown out with the words sorry but you dropped this or I think this belongs to you. You could try the same and just put the fag buts back into her car. Have someone with you and also it would be very silly of her to try anything. After all you have her reg no. Is the car taxed as you cannot tax without a MOT

You may not be able to tax without an MOT, but that's no indication it's not taxed.

For example, if MOT ran out last week, it could still have been taxed from 1 Jan. It's taxed and will be for the rest of the year, but has no MOT.

RedDeadRoach Add me to the "speak for yourself" crew!! I've gone out and thrown a bucket of water over a particularly unpleasant shit of a neighbour after behavior like this, so spraying a hose would be quite a calm reaction from me!

@Dubbadubbadumdum I like your style 😅

I'd go with the sprinkler, if you really don't want to do the dog-turds-on-wall thing, which would be my favourite option.

Fox poo would be a good deterrent. You only need the smallest smear. Ddog smells for weeks after rolling on it for microseconds.

It's against the law to put something dangerous on your fence, like barbed wire or broken glass, but I don't see why something that's merely smelly should be a problem. Disclaimer: not a legal expert.

But yes, report her vehicle for the reasons pp have said. It may be out of spite (though I wouldn't blame you) but it still needs doing.

Ach, thought it was a one page thread, not five! Well done OP. Sadly your DH is probably right about the fishy stuff.

I wouldnt be suprised if she didnt return. I find this kind of entitled prat likes to have the last word but then scarpers. I had an altercation with one over my parking space. Not a very pleasant woman when being challenged and made sure she had the last word and then flounced but she has not parked in it since. Hopefully, you will get the same result with your cf.

Totally ok to put whatever you want on your own property. If she touches it without permission and ruins her clothes that’s her own fault.

Fake internet lawyers are dangerous.

Ok so I don’t know whether to be horrified or impressed by this afternoons carry ons. We had the in laws over for Sunday dinner and I was telling them about cf smoker. My relationship with mil is a love/ hate type of thing- I love her but she drives me insane. She’s very loud and has few boundaries but has a heart of gold. She is also a typical feisty scouse matriarch (we live in the Peak District FYI so scousers are a rare breed down here)
Mil asked about what I’d done with the butts I’d picked up. They’re in a plastic takeaway tub in my wheelie bin- I’d sealed the tub just in case they fell out my bin- it has a dodgy lid. So she potters out retrieves the tub and puts water in with the 20 or so fag ends I’d cleaned up. She then stations herself in front of the window.
I take Dd2 upstairs to change her and cf drives up and parks- mil clarifies with dh this is the woman and goes out carrying the tub.
By this point dh and fil have both clocked on that mil is on the warpath but weren’t quick enough to stop her. The pair of them are quite dozy and very laid back.
She goes over to cf and says “you’ve left some rubbish here, take it with you please love” and offers the cf the tub.
Cf replies with “I’ve told your lot before-piss off” and lights up.
Mil promptly lashes the contents of the tub over cf. Cf starts screaming blue murder (which is when I ran down to see what the noise was) and I find cf and mil facing off on our driveway. Cf is effing and blinding and calls mil a nosy old cunt and at this point fil and dh threaten police. Cf drives off covered in grey fag water.

I’ve had to pick up the fag ends again and I’m a bit mad at myself and dh for not clocking on to mils plan in time to stop her because I am worried it’ll antagonise the woman and things will escalate.

But the look on that nasty cows face at being accosted by a bolshy pensioner was unreal.

It will either escalate or you wont ever see her again. If she does turn up I would be incredibly tempted to tell her that I was aware that her car isnt mot'd. If being covered in revolting fag water isnt enough to get her to clear off maybe the thought of being served a fine will.

I think I love your mil

Omg. Read through this just now. Was not expecting that!! I doubt she will be back. I'd put a 'warning cctv' sign up pronto just incase she seeks revenge!!

Oh I love a Scouse Matriarch! A couple of my pals fit that bill ( live in SE so very unusual) and I have to say there is nobody I would rather have on my side in a fight!!

I do agree you should be careful though as you cannot be sure she won't escalate. I would probably log with police but say MIL was "showing CF the butts and asking her to take them" and that they were accidentally thrown all over CF as she tried to bat them away. Police will know it's a lie but won't care.

Brilliant!

This thread is a potential classic!

GFW (grey fag water) CF should become common parlance.

I think I love your MIL!

I'm not posting on this thread so I don't miss any updates. Nope, not me.