Just one child

[MuddyMoose]

If you have just one child & have decided to have no more, AIBU to ask why you chose to stop at just the one? General curiosity.

We are only planning one. My husband is 40, I’m 34 with a chronic autoimmune condition and terrified of giving birth in this country, and I’m the main earner. I’m one of 3 and husband is one of 2 and we both have good relationships with our siblings as adults but were at war as children. When/if we’re able to have a child they will be an only, for us it’s the best choice.

We have one.. who is perfect

We thought about having more when dc was 2 and everyone was having second children and weren't ready.. dc was a terrible sleeper, we had no family support, we struggled with our relationship and constant tiredness, my career which had taken a hit got back on track. Also I'm an only and had a great childhood and dh who is one of two is not close to sibling so we thought we would wait until we felt ready.. but we didn't for years ..

Now dc is 6 and we are too old and only now do I feel ready... it's too late I think and I am sure a lot of it is my hormones saying are you sure.? .. and I worry if we do try we will suffer miscarriages or heath issues or have twins ...it's very hard and I feel for everyone wobbling with this decision. I think we will never know if we made the right or wrong decision so just need to accept it

I am one and done.

One is easy (as much as a toddler can be!) I only have to worry about dd, I can comfortably afford childcare, logistics of organising care for her are simple. I still have a life around hers, which some people don’t mind giving up, but I’m hugely sociable and struggled massively with PND when dd was tiny and attached to me. Now I socialise once a week usually while dd is at her dads and it has made such a difference.

Also she didn’t sleep for 18 months and is now FINALLY sleeping through every night. I don’t think I can go back to no sleep ever again.

Cost of childcare, don't think I could afford another. Also mid thirties so age too.

We have one who is a joy (99%) of the time. Haven't completely ruled out another but would need ivf again (did with dc) and dc is now 7. Am constantly to-ing and fro-ing. Dh more keen than me to have another. I've noticed that only children are becoming quite common. Having one can be a great lifestyle- more money to afford nice holidays, meals out that are enjoyable, regular trips to theatre, date nights (easy to get a babysitter for 1) and when dc goes to their acting class we get 3 hours free at the weekend to go for a meal/ cinema :-). I know that if we have another the above freedom will change (hopefully only temporarily). Dc does ask for little sister regularly, but we have a dog now who has made a great edition to our household- it's now more lively and some of the attention is off dc which is good!

Marital breakdown, so not a conscious decision as such. If it helps, DD was sad about not having a sibling for years and asked Santa for a little baby brother or sister etc. A couple of years ago, after spending time with younger siblings of her friends, she did a complete 180 and is now vociferously delighted to be an only child, so it's not a lifelong feeling of missing out for her!