This is odd and entitled isn’t it?

[Fusioluxe]

I bought a friend with twins two large wooden toys for her children for Christmas. Not cheap and I knew they would be liked. I had them delivered straight to her as they were big. Tracking showed they arrived.

Christmas came and went and I heard nothing so I ventured to ask her today whether she had ever received them. Her reply “Oh, were they from you?”

No thanks, no “oh the mystery is solved!”, but she did say the twins love them.

It seems that they arrived before Christmas, she was out, her mother was in, mother opened the parcel straight away and put the toys in the nursery, and got rid of the packaging. There was supposed to be a note in with them saying Merry Christmas from me but if it was there it wasnt looked at and thrown away.

I asked my friend hadn't she wondered where the toys were from when she had arrived home and saw them. She said no! 😲

Please tell me I’m not being unreasonable by thinking that isn’t normal behaviour!

[Port1ajazz]

How very odd and bad mannered you wouldn't try to find out where they came from ! As you see by the original post , it would be very hurtful to the person who had spent time and trouble gifting them !

[ton181]

Did you tell her to expect a parcel? I personally would have done.

[headinhands]

My money's on this being the sil.

[PregnantSea]

I wouldn't say it's entitled to not figure out where they came from under the circumstances - especially her mother being the one who received them, because she would have probably assumed that the mum ordered them.

The part where she didn't say thank you is inexcusably rude though. I feel embarrassed just thinking about that situation. I wouldn't hold a grudge as such but I'd definitely remember this in future when dealing with this friend.

[ToftyAC]

I think your friend is very rude and her mother is also rude opening her post. I wouldn’t bother again.

[Port1ajazz]

Motherontheedge1 it's a shame you can't find out who sent the gift ! I wonder if you had asked the company who sent it if you could a small token gift to the person through them ! It wouldn't be breaking DP !

[Londonmamabychance]

She's obj just a person w plenty of money and little time. I've got plenty of friends who do act the same way, although they would say thank you when they realised they were from me. I think the only odd and rude but is her not saying thank you properly.

[onegiftedgal]

Firstly, it's rude that her mother opened her post (illegal in fact), secondly, she is rude not to even wonder where they came from and thirdly, not to even thank you.
She sounds stuck up her own arse and a 'twinny' mum - think they rule the world.
I'm sorry that you spent so much on them op and I hope that your friend got you something nice, if not I'd give her a wide berth for as long as it takes for her to acknowledge you a bit.

[petmad]

a bit odd i woud say and not a thankyou or anything thats bad manners and why is her mum opening parcels for her house i dont open mail parcels etc that are not addressed to me. if its obvious its present wether it christmas birthday etc why is she opening them they wernt addressed to her.

[bertiesgal]

onegiftedgal what the f is a “twinny mum”

Why is that for every poster who is decent and empathetic there has to be some one who is deeply unpleasant?

Maybe the girl doesn’t think she rules the world, maybe she’s just exhausted and not being her best self?

Can we cut mums of under 5s some slack?

Singletons and multiples alike.

OP you sound lovely and the gifts were exceptionally generous but your friend might just be drowning under everything and everyone else’s expectations. Don’t change but don’t beat youself or her up about it.

[headinhands]

“twinny mum” is like that because she's also 'twice as knackered as you when you had just 1 baby mummy.'

[Orlande]

Two rocking horses are not a very sensible gift for a friend, especially without checking first - I wouldn't send something so big without asking if it's OK.

Her rather cool reaction seems to demonstrate she wasn't very pleased. I would have been annoyed too.

Next time maybe ask what the kids would like, or stick to books or colouring pencils.

[Bluntness100]

I'd also assume she's not happy to have two rocking horses also. She should of course have said thank you for them. Looks like she's just a bit pissed off shes now got them, it's one of these gifts that it's highly likely the kids played on for five mins then ignored and now she's go them laying around. However it doesn't excuse her rudeness.

[Bluntness100]

I'm also not sure why folks are attacking rhe mother, the daughter could have asked her to open them and deal with them.

[DrinkSangriaInThePark]

I think the mother was rude and ungracious.
However, onegiftedgal as a mother of twins who would be touched and extremely grateful for any gift I ever received, I take offence at your "twinny mum" comment.
And headinhands it is bloody tiring to have two newborns at the same time, believe it or not, and sleep is generally worse than having one baby.

[springtimeyet]

The twin mum should have included the words thank you when saying her DC loved them. But as a twin mum who has received unlabeled gifts I have never added to my work load by ringing round trying to track down the sender because it becomes apparent, as it did in this case. Twins are really exhausting and I never never met anyone in real life who didn't grasp that.

[Teacher22]

Rude, entitled and ungrateful. But you knew that anyway. Don’t send anything next year. Or if you want a proper response, have toys delivered to you, wrap them and make a big tarradiddle about giving them to the children personally.

[Legohell]

Where have people got the idea that they are huge rocking horses from?!

[Legohell]

And where have they got the idea the gifts were unlabelled? The grandmother never looked for a message, and neither did the mother!

[iamyourequal]

What a shame OP. Your gifts were beautiful and very generous. I don’t believe your friends story about her mum opening them etc. I think she just sounds really rude not to have thanked you. One wee thing, having looked at the rockers , I wouldn’t have chosen them for a 3 year old as they will likely outgrow them in no time, but they are a smashing gift. I’d be sending 2 selection boxes next year!

[Sweetieepea]

Well here’s how I think it went.
DM - receives delivery and wonders what is in the boxes. She opens them and see’s how special the presents are. She reads note and knows you live a long way away. She unpacks them and put’s them in the nursery and decides to play the situation by ear.
DF - Comes in and see’s the lovely gift. She presumes they are from her mother and thanks her profusely saying that they are the best presents ever.
DM - Is pissed off as she actually hasn’t got her dgcs anywhere near as nice presents. She chooses not to tell her dd the truth and just goes along with the story, hoping dd never finds out. If she does she will just say that she never actually said they were from her and dd just presumed it. DM says she thought they should get them early as dgcs are getting so many more gifts on Christmas Day and didn’t want to overshadow any other gifts
DF - Then wonders where your gifts are but thinks they may have went missing and doesn’t like to contact you about it. She probably wonders about the lovely rockers, but thinks that they were too expensive to come from her DF and of course dm had said they were from her (she hadn’t really said it but things get mixed in her memory and of course dm had bought them and given them the lovely rockers.
OP - eventually asks about the gifts and then it clicks with dear friend. She is so annoyed at DM that she actually forgets to thank you as she is so upset by what her DM has done.
Only mistake DM made was not sending you a thank you and she is probably kicking herself at being caught out!

[Rafabella]

Such a shame OP. Regardless of the fact that other posters may think that the gifts were too large etc. Her not acknowledging or thanking - even when you asked her is not ok. Yes that is entitled, rude, unkind and indicative of someone with little to no social skill.