New mums making me feel like crap about myself

[uhtredsonofuhtred]

Just got back from play group with my 2 year old and quite frankly I'm feeling quite shit about my appearance.

So thought I'd better venture out today because staying indoors with a energetic 2 year old is not the one and we've had loads of days in with either her or myself being ill.

Put a bit of make up on tie the hair up and try and make myself look a bit more presentable (all though I still look like I've just fell out of bed) do the school run and get to playground for just after 9am.my friends there with her 3 month old and I haven't seen her since she was 2 weeks old, her mum (my friend) looks radiant! No make up on (maybe a bit of moisture) her hairs down and straightened with nice clean clothes on, she looks great!
Another lady who I know of comes walking over with her 3 week old and again looks radiant and absolutely stunning, she's had her cut and minimal make up on her clothes are nice, and no new mummy belly, cup of coffee in one hand and her baby in her arm.

How are these woman looking this great at 9 in the morning with new babies  I look like utter shit with just a two year old in tow. It's not fair 

Different people have different priorities. I would sacrifice sleep for time to shower and do my hair and makeup. They may have good sleepers etc - it all makes a difference

I'm not sure how it's on them that you feel crap....

Seriously reminds me of the thread about the attractive mum in the playground that everyone gossiped about....

I would happily forgo sleep to spend me time if I wasn't sleep deprived and that putting pressures on health and wellbeing

Also, agree, don't comment on women's appearance, don't judge.

They didn't actively 'make' you feel bad about yourself OP, which is what the title states, sadly, you looked around and compared yourself unfavourably against them. Thats you making you feel bad, and I get that can be easy to do, but either you don't have time for this and really want to, or you do have time and just dont want to.

One is a choice. I think personally, its a shame to have to feel the need to be 'made up'/face on' all the time.

From what you say though, they just look fairly naturally well. If you really don't think you do, it might be worth investing mental energy to that, if that's what you choose (and you have the energy!)

@YepImafraidIchangeditagain it was light hearted a bit jokey, their lovely ladies and one of them is a good friend of mine I was just saying how well they looked with newborns compared to me with a toddler 

it was light hearted a bit jokey, their lovely ladies and one of them is a good friend of mine I was just saying how well they looked with newborns compared to me with a toddler

Oh!? How much more different to that could it have been actually written?!

it was light hearted a bit jokey, their lovely ladies and one of them is a good friend of mine I was just saying how well they looked with newborns compared to me with a toddler

Stand down everyone, it was all just a big joke...lmfao!!!!

Hi OP,

I have come to realize you either have a clean, organised home and children or a clean, organised body.

You cannot have both.

My opinion anyway.

When my DD was a newborn she would happily sit for 20 mins whilst I put a full face on, my hair was still glossy and sleep deprivation hadn’t hit me. Fast forward to now (only 11 months later and she’s crawling) it’s a lot harder and most days I have minimal make up, if any, and my hair in a bun. At the beginning I also felt I had a lot more to prove, I wanted to maintain a part of me. I think that’s why it can be easier with newborns.

If it really does bother you then try and be as organised as you can at night and just spends 5 mins with basic make up in the morning. I’m sure you look fine, don’t compare yourself to others.

@MonsterKidz I think that's just it really, the home has to be cleaned and tidied there's no two ways about it, I can't do both it's just impossible 😩

LVL lashes, 40min every 3 months. Makes my lashes amazing, no need for mascara and makes me look wide awake. Twice a week I put dove tuned moisturiser on after the shower, my face too. Being slightly tan always makes me feel better. Eyebrows waxed about once a month. Takes literally 20min out of the house. Leave clothes out the night before. Just a bit of blusher in the morning, literally 30seconds. So the tan makes you look like your wearing foundation, u don't even need mascara. Hair ponytail or messy bun. This is what I do on school run mornings. Finished before kids have even finished breakfast. Its the quickest method I have found which makes me feel half decent without actually requiring much effort in the morning. Although just try and own yourself, whatever you wear or look like. I do know what you mean though about feeling like a goddess when you do put the effort in and then just being a lazy cow

Yanbu
When mine were small they slept for 16 hours out of 24.
2 year olds are ten times the work load!

I'm 3 months pp.
I admit I scrub up okay.
Then I get home and take my clothes off and look in the mirror. I am RIDDLED with stretch marks, have to wear Spanx as my belly is like jelly, have brown marks all over my skin, one boob bigger than the other etc etc.

It's easy to make yourself look nice when you're on early maternity leave with a non crawling baby (in my experience). I don't actually look nice though regardless of what my friends tell me. I look a hot mess and cover it up with clothes...

I do know those who do have both...clean DC, however many of them, and clean slef and home, but do have the beauticians visit for the waxing, tinting and hair cuttings, including dc, and cleaners, plus the eyelashes etc.

@uhtredsonofuhtred i am so much like your story and seen other parents been perfect its so annoying but i only have 1 daughter she is 6 i wish i could dress like them

@KissHerYouBrilliantFool
I have to 100% agree with you