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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off at DH?

77 replies

KitKat1985 · 10/01/2019 22:03

We realised a few days ago that we had mice in the loft (we could hear scurrying in the loft and found a dead mouse and other 'mice' signs). I'm aware that it needed resolving and wanted to look into humane ways to manage the problem, whereas DH just wanted to get a pest controller out to put poison down (disclaimer I'm a softie vegetarian, DH is not). I came home from work half an hour ago and DH admitted he had called out a pest controller today to put poison down whilst I was at work. He deliberately didn't tell me he was going to do this as he knew I would object. I know we needed to deal with the issue but I'm pretty pissed off he disrespected my feelings on the issue and went ahead and did it behind my back. AIBU? Or should I just accept that it needed doing?

OP posts:
Etino · 10/01/2019 22:05

What humane ways are there of getting rid of mice?

Sirzy · 10/01/2019 22:06

How long where you going to spend researching? If it meant that much surely it would have been a priority?

SoCockneyItHurts · 10/01/2019 22:07

Yabu.....they're mice fgs

Original poster
KitKat1985 · 10/01/2019 22:09

I guess I was thinking about putting traps down and blocking up the holes they were getting in through. As a I say I'm open to the fact that I may be being over-sensitive and a bit too soft, but I just hate the idea of poisoning all the mice to death (it's known to be a slow and painful death).

OP posts:
puzzledlady · 10/01/2019 22:09

Sorry but humane ways don’t work - trust me. I know. Your mice problem will just get worse as you search for more humane ways to kill them - your DH is right.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 10/01/2019 22:10

The humane traps dont work.

Poison didnt work for us either. Neither did inhumane traps....

The only thing that worked was glue paper with peanut butter. I can see that would be a problem if you are worried about animal suffering.

I think hes done the right thing (if it works). Best dealt with as quickly and efficiently as possible because it only gets worse otherwise

flyingspaghettimonster · 10/01/2019 22:14

I tried humane traps that live catch so you can release 2 miles away. We have them all over our house and caught only 1 mouse in 2 weeks. I gave in and agreed to do himan kill traps... ones that work like the old fashioned snap traps, but with plastic spikes all around so the snap the mouses neck instantly wherever it hits. I have caught 9 mice in 1 day. I recommend the snap traps as far less cruel than poison and less risk of ither animals eating poisoned mice like owls, cats etc

Howdoyoudoit31 · 10/01/2019 22:15

YABU.

MoaningSickness · 10/01/2019 22:17

Catching them in live traps and transporting them far enough away from the house worked for us. (Yes, I know they might have died after release, but they had a chance).

I don't kill creatures unless I have to, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who went behind my back to do so knowing my feelings like the husband did. If it was about doing it quickly he could have said 'sort out a humane solution by X or I will call an exterminator', then it would have been down to the OP to do it or not, but this was about doing it his way without the OP having a chance or a choice.

YANBU, op.

ineedaholidaynow · 10/01/2019 22:17

Mice can get through very small holes, I would have thought it would be very hard to find them all and block them

girlandboy · 10/01/2019 22:19

We have live traps and they DO work.
I then release them far away. We did wonder if the same ones were coming back but we marked them before release, and it was definitely different ones.
We caught woodmice, voles and housemice.

We have also used the breakback traps, but after one got trapped by its leg and we could hear it dragging itself around the attic we've used the humane traps instead.

Original poster
KitKat1985 · 10/01/2019 22:29

Okay, slightly mixed views but general consensus is that I'm being unreasonable. I think I'm partly just upset that he did it behind my back. We've been married quite a few years and obviously haven't always agreed on everything, but we have always discussed stuff first and reached a decision / compromise together on stuff. This is the first time I can recall him ever going behind my back to do something.

OP posts:
FevertreeLight · 10/01/2019 22:29

What happened when you release a live mouse in the outdoors?

SillySallySingsSongs · 10/01/2019 22:32

and blocking up the holes they were getting in through.

Good luck with finding them

pixilatedpenguin · 10/01/2019 22:37

A mouse transported and released will run around have no idea where to get food until it starves or more likely be eaten by a predator ffs. Just use snap traps quick and no prolonged death.

SluggishSnail · 10/01/2019 22:42

Mice breed in 3 week cycles. One female can have a litter of up to 14 every 3 weeks. The baby mice can breed from about 6 weeks or so.....
If you want rid of a mouse colony you have to actually do it. Or accept that you are housing them. It could be hundreds after 6 months, if you start from just one pair.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 10/01/2019 22:42

I tried humane ways to evict mice in the past. They ignored the high pitched alarm, and when I tried to capture them live they died of stress and fright. There isn't really a humane way unless you want them to stay, and then there is the issue of biting through wires and causing a fire hazard. Can you make sure any holes are blocked in so that they can't get into the house next time?

jessstan2 · 10/01/2019 22:43

I used a humane mouse trap which was effective but I only had two mice, one at a time.

Mice carry germs, they are vermin so have to be dealt with. Your husband was not unreasonable, if you could hear them scurrying about and saw 'signs', you are infested.

At least a pest control operative will come back, take away the dead mice and remove any poison or traps.

Ethel36 · 10/01/2019 22:43

I think that he did the right thing.

Crazybunnylady123 · 10/01/2019 22:43

Yanbu. Caring about the lives of other living things can never be wrong. Do not doubt yourself. From one vegetarian to another if my df did that he would be gone. I love animals and luckily so does he. Your feelings are completely valid. Those poor mice. X

kitkatsky · 10/01/2019 22:45

I think you're trying hard to be virtuous, but need to do some research about how humane it is to catch and release, it light not be as amazing as you imagine x

SluggishSnail · 10/01/2019 22:45

Also, just to add, baby mice that can move/walk/get away are very small, less than the size of a cocktail sausage, maybe more the size of a Cadbury's Éclair or one of the Mars or Bounty in Celebrations.

Yabbers · 10/01/2019 22:46

YABU to think there is an easy humane solution, YANBU to be pissed off with OH for going behind your back. The two of you should have come to an agreement but bear in mind that also means that sometimes you need to compromise,

Yabbers · 10/01/2019 22:47

Mars or Bounty in Celebrations.

Which, incidentally, we discovered was the best way to entice mice into a trap.

BlueJag · 10/01/2019 22:47

Because he knows you. He knows you'll try the other methods and before you know you have a million up in the loft.
I've been married 30 years and once he bought a flat without telling me. It happens.
You get a free pass next time.