Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to say no to coworker?

130 replies

ChocolateToffee · 10/01/2019 20:53

One of the ladies on another shift has asked me to cover her weekend in October as she has a wedding to go to. She cant get time off because someone else already has that particular weekend off.

She has asked me to swap but I really dont want to. I wont get paid extra and have to rely on her to work one of my weekends in return. I just dont want to deal with the hassle.

How can I tell her no without sounding nasty?

OP posts:
Schmoobarb · 10/01/2019 20:54

Tell her you have plans already

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/01/2019 20:55

Can you make sure she does yours first so it's out of the way?

TickTockClocks · 10/01/2019 20:55

Tell her you have plans. It’s not really that much hassle though surely?

ilovepixie · 10/01/2019 20:55

Could you not say yes if she will work one of your weekends? Make it a weekend before the wedding so if she doesn't do it then don't work hers.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 10/01/2019 20:56

Id do it in a shot. Especially with that much notice. Its a nice thing to do

FrowningFlamingo · 10/01/2019 20:56

You sound a bit mean tbh. Have you never needed a swap?
October is ages away, ask her to cover a weekend for you beforehand so you know she's done her bit if you're worried she won't keep her part of the deal.

user1493413286 · 10/01/2019 20:56

Could you not get her to work a weekend before October so you know that the favour is repaid? If you really don’t want to say you have plans but you may regret that if you’re in a similar position at some point/

SometimesMaybe · 10/01/2019 20:56

That’s a shame you won’t do it if you can get a swap. Just make sure she works your first. Someday you might need a favour and you will have one in the bank.

rainbowsss · 10/01/2019 20:57

I'm glad you're not my coworker, what a meany

PurpleFlower1983 · 10/01/2019 20:57

Let her cover a weekend before that way it will just be a swap.

nicelyneurotic · 10/01/2019 20:57

Yes say it's -insert relative/friend's name- big birthday then and they've mentioned going away so you've said you'll keep it free . It can always be 'cancelled' at the last minute!

Popc0rn · 10/01/2019 20:57

I work somewhere where we swap shifts a lot, but if I don't want to I just say "no, sorry I can't".

But if it's not until October, can't you just get her to do a weekend of your choice sometime between then and now?

FascinatingCarrot · 10/01/2019 20:58

Im with pp. Get her to swap beforehand. It may be the start of something you both want to do again.

IncomingCannonFire · 10/01/2019 20:58

October?! How does she even know if she is on shift then?
I think yab a bit u.

nicelyneurotic · 10/01/2019 20:59

It may be mean but if the OP doesn't want to, for whatever reason, it's her right to say no. And it sounds it's causing anxiety so don't agree if it will stress you out

ThatsNotNiceRoger · 10/01/2019 20:59

Surely you negotiate with her which weekend of yours she will work as a swap, then swap it. Isn’t it nice to do the odd favour?

Popc0rn · 10/01/2019 20:59

@IncomingCannonFire

Good point, could be a rolling rota? If so then even easier to work out when she can repay the favour OP!

ResistanceIsNecessary · 10/01/2019 21:00

If I didn't have plans then I'd do it, but I'd be asking her to cover a weekend for me as a quid pro quo - and I'd make sure that the weekend she covered was prior to October.

tazzle22 · 10/01/2019 21:00

As others have said... arrange her do a weekend for you first if you are worried. I always think that I might need a swap someday and would feel that it's good for co workers to be flexible and help each other.

Reflect..if it was you wanted to go to a family wedding how would you feel if no one would help you out.

Riotingbananas · 10/01/2019 21:00

How much hassle would it actually be? It would be such a nice thing to do for her, she's given you loads of notice and has offered to do one of your weekends. I used to work shifts and we would all swap shifts to help each other out. It's a kind way to behave.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/01/2019 21:01

Would it be that bad to swap? She can cover yours first. It’s 9 or 10 months away.

ThePinkOcelot · 10/01/2019 21:01

You’re a bit mean aren’t you?!

UhUhUhDennis · 10/01/2019 21:03

Wow hope you never need a favour!

Paddy1234 · 10/01/2019 21:04

I would do it in an instance
Kindness is a virtue

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 10/01/2019 21:07

That’s 10 months warning..????!! Can you not just ask the person who makes up the rota..??