To not want all of the inlaws coming to stay 3 days after childbirth?

[Bemoremargo]

I gave birth to my lovely third son this morning, all went as smoothly as I could have dreamt and I've said yes to MIL and FIL coming to stay from Thursday to Saturday. I usually find 2/3 days visits are my limit without even having a newborn. They are lovely but overbearing. I've only just started to be able to assert myself recently with them after 10 years of being with DH.
Now we've been asked if BIL and his newish gf (who we've never met) can come from the Friday night and leave with them all on Saturday.
I know its only 1 night with 2 extra people but I think it will be pushing it tbh. It'll be day 3 to 5 post birth and from what I can remember from the last time I'll be a hormonal, sweaty and crying mess with my boobs out constantly. MiL has a track record of not being positive about breast feeding (which is a whole other story) and I know she'll expect me to take myself and baby upstairs away from sight to feed him, so I have visions of feeling like I've been banished to my room for the duration. Or going up and down stairs like a jack in the box getting angrier and angrier. Adding a new person I've never met might just tip me over. I'd like to suggest that Bil and gf come in a couple of weeks, I can't see what difference it would make to them and it would be much easier for us/me. Oh, and we've got 1 spare room so Mil and Fil fit easily but having 2 more means putting 3 and 7 year old together which we've not tried before. I know its not the end of the world but I'm already feeling put out and stressed at the thought of it.
DH thinks we should be pleased they're so excited about the new baby and just get it all over with at once, but it will be me recovering from birth, trying to establish breastfeeding and attempting to not cry in front of everyone, not him.
Reading that back I don't think IABU, but I'm fully prepared to be told to just crack on and cope with a few visitors for a couple of nights!

Also. Sort your DH out!

Yanbu, there is no room for BIL and girlfriend to stay, they will have to go to a hotel .

And MIL can piss off with her breastfeeding comments - you can breastfeed where you like , especially in your own home. She can move out of the room if she doesn’t like it.

Between this and the New Years Eve thread where OP’s H had signed her up to host a party for his family despite her having HG, it shocks me how such thoughtless men manage to convince a woman to procreate with them.

You certainly are not being unreasonable, and should simply tell them there isn't enough room for an extra 4 people, so brother will have to come later on. If they try and insinuate that they'll "just make do and squeeze in", be firm and tell them NO. You've just had a huge adjustment as a family, and think that having 2 extra people to stay in the same week you've given birth is more than enough to deal with.
Also if she EVER tries to tell you to go in the other room to breastfeed, kick her out and tell her never to return! I cant believe someone would actually have the cheek to say this to you, especially in your own home?! wtaf. Congrats on new baby!

Perhaps you can suggest that they take themselves out of sight when you are BF’ing. No way should you be made to accommodate them after birth!

Just no! To any of them staying if they aren't going to actively help!

You're all completely right. Its madness. And no they don't make life easier when they're here, quite the opposite. They (Mil and Fil) were here less than 2 weeks ago and it was difficult.
Right, I'm composing a message now...

Good work OP. This is your time to recover, mentally and physically. And as @Aquamarine1029 said...when DH pushes a human out of his vag, he can make the fucking social arrangements!

And you're all spot on about breastfeeding wherever I want in my own house. There's loads of examples of daft/offensive comments and behaviour from them over the years and I really want to not let them add to the list of things I stew over if I can help it. I'm so pro bf but I honestly feel more comfortable with my boobs out in public rather than at home in front of Mil.

Do it only if you're able to absolve yourself of responsibility and ignore mess and don't do any catering. Leave absolutely everything to everyone else. Then I'd do it. Otherwise not a chance.

Thanks @aquamarine, that's my new mantra.

Are they fucking insane? No!

Is your DH family mad? It is your home, you are allowed to do what ever the hell you want, where you want regardless!! Nevermind having given birth 3 DAYS ago! Your a braver woman than me, over my dead body was anyone over that quickly besides my OWN mum!

Tell them that you need some time and space to recover and offer to reaarnage to a time that suits YOU. They can't just rock up and expect to be wined and dined when you have 3 DC to look after now.

YANBU. Put your foot down. No

Yeah, no joke, I'll be having my boobs out all the time when our little one is here and the thought of someone shaming me about feeding my little one? In my own fucking house? KNOB OFF.

You're not being selfish OP, you're a warrior, so protect your turf and tell hear arsehats to naff off!

Yanbu

This is insane

You’re getting unanimous support on AIBU, what does that tell you?

YABU - to even think of letting these insensitive in laws descend on you.
Now is a time to adjust to your new family dynamics with no interference from PiL and MiL.
As for the bf: your baby, your breasts, your home. Let it all hang out, this is a time for you, not for intrusive guests.

Hope you can sort it and they take it well

I’d tell mil to fuck off the second she starts making digs about breastfeeding.

If they take the hump and leave bonus.

I’d like to say I’d kick DP in nads if he ever tried this, but I cannot imagine him being so callous of me after giving birth that he’d even suggest it.

Your H is a twat of the highest order. Tell him he can have his entire family to stay over three nights when he’s had major trauma to undercarriage.

And who’s going to sort the rooms out for the outlaws to come stay?

I wouldn't have the mil and fil stay let alone bil and his girlfriend. Could you invent an excuse and say no to the lot of them?

Good god are you Superwoman? !

I wouldn't contemplate anyone staying with me for at least several weeks after giving birth. My and Dh's family wouldn't presume it would be appropriate to ask.....OH and they always cater and clear up too when they do stay!

A serious talk with DH is required here, at the very least, he needs to take over ALL catering ,clearing up and entertaining of his parents whilst you look after baby and yourself.

Congratulations!

Bloody hell, why the fuck would you put yourself through this?

SIL & BIL came for a long weekend the week after I'd had DC3. It was the last time any of DH's siblings has ever been to stay.
BIL is a prehistoric arse who only eats 1 meal and can't carry a mug into the kitchen let alone put in the dishwasher. Or indeed, fill it in the first place. The only thing he brought was earplugs, so he wouldnt hear his kids when they woke up. SIL spent the entire time whinging on about breastfeeding too. They came thinking they were having a long weekend break it would appear and didn't cook, tidy up, they walked off and left their kids - not just into another room but out of the house into town. They didn't get up until past 10 - it was fucking awful. Never ever again. There was absolutely no consideration to the fact I'd just had a baby let along no3.

I can't imagine that the girlfriend would want to visit at all, never mind stay overnight. There's plenty of time for you to meet her once you've properly recovered from childbirth. Visits in the early days should be reserved for people who really care for you and want to help. It's not the time to meet someone for the first time.

I'd cancel all overnights and tell DH that he can arrange for his parents to visit. Whether that means a hotel or a daytrip is not your concern.