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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel my holiday last minute because I’m fat?

116 replies

EilaLila · 08/01/2019 18:23

I’m going away in a few weeks to a hot country and I’ve looked at all my clothes and absolutely nothing fits. I have rapidly gained a lot of weight. I have been on steroids but I have also been comfort eating due to depression which is totally my fault though, no excuses. I have overhauled my diet in the last couple of week, I have started to lose a few pounds but I’ll still be very large when I go.

I want to cancel. It’s a group of us and it doesn’t change anything cost-wise for anyone except me. In theory, I would love to go on this holiday but I’m so self conscious and embarrassed in my body. WIBU to just cancel?

OP posts:
SushiMonster · 08/01/2019 23:59

Go! Have fun. But buy some clothes that fit so you will be more comfortable.

MiniMum97 · 09/01/2019 00:00

I had this. Go shopping. You I'll feel much better if you have clothes that fit you.

TheLittlePicker · 09/01/2019 00:04

Go for it, OP. Glam up with some nice make up, earrings, sunglasses, and some floaty numbers. Make sure you buy some nice clothes, sparkly sandals and do your toenails before you go. And have a lovely time.

Jon65 · 09/01/2019 00:18

Gap online have some great dresses at the mo, in the sale, around 10 quid, and a great jumpsuit. Go and enjoy.

JustanotherCHRISTMASuser01 · 09/01/2019 07:04

my dad said to me once when i was really struggling on holiday with the way i looked - you will notice 3 slimmer people than you but you won't notice the fact that 3 people are bigger than you.
Go enjoy some cocktails x

Peachesandcream30 · 09/01/2019 09:10

I might get into trouble for saying this but there is a diet you can follow to lose a stone in a week.

It's meant to be for people who need to quickly lose weight before surgery and has been recommended by doctors for this reason (although is obviously only meant to be followed for a week).

I can't remember the exact diet (you can Google it) but I do remember that the lunch option was unlimited fruit each day. The breakfasts were depressing like one piece of dry toast or one boiled egg, and then the dinner was pretty much a grilled meat (steak or chicken) with unlimited veg (no sauce).

I edited this diet to make my own less depressing version which I thought I could stick to - for instead of having the depressing breakfast and the unlimited fruit for lunch, I just merged the two and had unlimited fruit for both. I eat a lot out of habit than because I'm hungry (I mean even when I'm not hungry I like to pick at stuff and have stuff to snack on) so this worked brilliantly for me because I could still pick.

Then, for dinner I'd eat either a chicken salad (but I seasoned the chicken to make it tasty and used loads of veg or added an egg to make it filling) or grilled chicken breast and loads of brocolli, carrots, beans etc. (I don't eat beef so I didn't want to do that part of the diet, and I'd rather eat nothing than eat a piece of dry toast in the morning!)

Because I was eating so much fruit and veg I was not only full but I felt amazing! I'd wake up each morning with loads of energy and keep it up throughout the day.

I started going for an hour long bike ride each day (this was a coincidence - I just started a new job which id cycle to) and I started walking more - taking my dogs for long walks each day. So I did increase my exercise but only a little and it was relaxing exercise rather than a gruelling gym workout (which I'd never have stuck to).

After 5 days I went shopping and I'd dropped a dress size, I had countless compliments and shocked comments about how I'd lost the weight so fast and how I looked not only slimmer but healthier. Clothes fit that I'd not worn for years.

After two weeks of doing this strictly I eased up loads, reintroduced the odd alcoholic drink, occasional rice/quinoa/sweet potatoes, even the odd pizza! Basically I relaxed loads but kept up with the loads of fruit and veg as the thing I ate most of, and I kept up the bike riding and walking too. If I have a bad craving for something I'll have it, but I never use anything ready made and will always make my own food fresh which I think helps a lot too - no sauces or ready meals which is where all the sugar is hidden. So the weight just never came back.

I'd really recommend you to try this because 1) it works so quickly that it gives you the encouragement to go on! 2) it's easy to do, and you don't need to be too strict 3) the weight will drop off and you'll be confident enough to go on your holiday! 4) a relaxing holiday alongside a new healthy eating plan might be just what you need to cheer yourself up!

Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for (I know you were asking whether you should go on the holiday) but I just coildnt help but post this because I did this diet because I was in a similar situation to you - comfort eating due to dperession and gaining weight which was making me feel even worse - and this diet combined with the gentle exercise really worked, made me feel great, confident and happier too. So maybe it could do the same for you Smile

Peachesandcream30 · 09/01/2019 09:14

Oh and I want to add that I totally agree that people should be happy and confident whatever their size! But I also know that for some people their size can affect their confidence, so I just wanted to share my experience incase it helps Smile

MaudesMum · 09/01/2019 09:28

I'm adding another voice to the chorus of people who say "go". I became gradually heavier over my 40s and 50s (up to size 20), and it really stopped me doing things. I used to love going to spas with my sister - I stopped as I didn't want her to see how fat I was. I used to love swimming in warm seas - I stopped going on those sort of holidays. . I even "forgot" my swimming costume on one adventure holiday so I didn't have to get in the pool with others and cool off. I then lost a couple of stone, and over the last couple of years have been on holidays where I have happily worn a bathing costume in front of others and swam in the warm sea. And I've loved it, but have totally mourned all those wasted opportunities from the last 10 years or so - I won't get that time back again. So, don't be like me!!

EilaLila · 09/01/2019 13:36

Thank you, all. You’re really awesome.

I’m not sure what clothes size I am as I can barely breathe in my current clothes Blush but I’m about 4 stone overweight, although fairly broad and tall, so I can kind of carry it off a little but I do look overweight and flabby, it’s mainly around my mid section.

I can’t face the shops but I’m going to order a load of stuff online and see how I go.

@Peachesandcream30 no, you won’t get into trouble! I know you were only being nice and I do appreciate it. I like the sound of your diet as a short term thing. I shall do some googling. :)

OP posts:
GimmeBread · 09/01/2019 14:42

I've just bought myself a load of size 14s from the £5 site - hopefully it will all fit. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

LetsSplashMummy · 10/01/2019 14:31

I bet you've never looked at another overweight person in holiday and thought "they should have stayed home!" That's because nobody thinks that.... you should be as kind to yourself as you would be to other people.

P.S. I find snacking regularly on high protein snacks wards off that starving feeling you get on steroids.

girlwithadragontattoo · 10/01/2019 14:44

Fellow fatty here Grin I live in tourist town in a very hot country in Europe. I've made it my mission to loose weight this year.
I really don't care what people think of me when i go to the beach anymore, i tend to wear a top over a tankini.
We have a nudist beach here as well, if you have one when you go away you could always park yourself there, lots of old men wondering around and i can assure you now-one will be looking at you

LittleSwede · 10/01/2019 14:55

The holiday will no doubt have done excellent health benefits in that you'll get a boost of Vitamin D which always helps to lift my spirits and hemp's with immunity etc. Spending time with friends will also benefit your health. And those fruity cocktails will also add some vitamins Smile

Get yourself some lovely nail varnish, a few accessories, Jackie O sunglasses and a fab cover up and you're all set!

The only time I've taken a notice of another woman on the beach was when this glamorous Eastern European lady turned up in a 'Borat style string swimsuit' which just about coveted nipples and lady area. It was beige so I initially thought she was naked! Not my cup of tea but good for her if it made her feel great!

UbbesPonytail · 10/01/2019 15:06

So glad you’re going to go!

I felt like this on holiday last year. It didn’t help that we were there because DH was running a marathon. I packed a sports bra and shorts and did a YouTube workout every morning just to lift my mood and make me feel like I was doing something and it helped me to not dwell on what was going on in my subconscious and just enjoy the rest of the day!

Siennacub · 10/01/2019 15:15

Agree, life is too short. We’re only here once, make the most of it. No one will be looking at you, tgey’ll all be worrying about what they look like! I don’t know anyone that isn’t a bit self conscious in a swimsuit/ bikini. Christ I’ll go instead if you want Grin Been freezing my arse off out in the cold all day, I can literally feel the warmth of sun on my skin and the first sip of a lovely cocktail Grin

Newbie1981 · 10/01/2019 15:24

I felt the same on my last holiday. I got a one piece that is said to flatter and push everything in and up, then wrapped a sarong round my waist which went to the floor. Felt much better about it and even forgot I was fat at times! Def do that and go. Oh, alcohol helps 😀

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