To cancel my holiday last minute because I’m fat?

[EilaLila]

I’m going away in a few weeks to a hot country and I’ve looked at all my clothes and absolutely nothing fits. I have rapidly gained a lot of weight. I have been on steroids but I have also been comfort eating due to depression which is totally my fault though, no excuses. I have overhauled my diet in the last couple of week, I have started to lose a few pounds but I’ll still be very large when I go.

I want to cancel. It’s a group of us and it doesn’t change anything cost-wise for anyone except me. In theory, I would love to go on this holiday but I’m so self conscious and embarrassed in my body. WIBU to just cancel?

Go. I'm a size 20-22, weigh about 18 stone, and was the same on my honeymoon.

I was mortified as I was easily the fattest woman there, but I had a couple of dresses I liked from LindyBop, linen shorts and trousers that fit me, a swimsuit I tolerated, a sarong for by the pool, and otherwise cracked on and drank cocktails.

In short, find clothes you are comfortable in and its half the battle won.

Definitely go.

We went to Italy last summer and I was feeling self conscious about putting a bikini on. When we got there, there was every size, shape, scar, stretch mark and all in bikinis. It was quite liberating, being surrounded by normal bodies!

So go, and enjoy yourself :)

If I was going on hold with a curvy/cuddly/chubby (pick your own word) friend I would literally think of nothing other than how excited I was to be getting to spend time with her. I reckon your friends would have a less good time without you, and for that reason alone I say saddle up, get your cocktail pants on, and I hope you have an absolute blast of a time xxx

Go. Shit happens. You really don’t need many clothes. Buy a few bits and rinse things through if necessary.

When l was in my 20s l spent my time on the beach holding in my size 8 belly!. Now l am way more than that and l couldn't give a hoot. I just relax and enjoy myself and give no thought to anyone. My main idea of a good holiday would be good company and thats all your friends care about.
Buy a cover all easy dress that you can pop on in the evenings and just go and enjoy.
I have seen so many different shapes on holidays and l couldn't care less. Have a great holiday.

What a lovely nest of vipers. you’ve made me feel a lot better.
I will continue to work on my eating and lose weight but you’re right, I will feel shit if I miss this holiday. I’ve been looking forward to it for ages after a tough time lately.

I totally understand.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been and really don't feel good about how I look just now. I have also just returned from a short break away.

I am so glad I went. Nobody but me cared about my weight or how I looked - just as I didn't care about other people's weight or about how others looked.

What would you say if one of your friends wanted to cancel because of their weight?

Please go. Have a great holiday.

I’ve been very fat - nearly 17 stone fat. There is a lot of shitty blaming in the way people talk about the obesity epidemic, and likewise, a lot of shit said from the body positive camp. But the one thing I did learn was that being fat is not a moral failing. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the nice things in life. It’s not a sin. It wasn’t until I truly accepted my fatness as nothing more than adipose tissue, andnot a reflection of my worth as a person, that I was able to lose 6 stone. So my advice is to go forth and have a lovely holiday. Buy a few things that actually fit you, and go have fun. You ARE worthy. You don’t need to hide yourself away. :)

If you are already feeling down then skipping holiday won't improve that. Go. Your friends would rather have you there. Regardless of what you look like.

I'm glad you're going to go (you better!) You'd regret it massively. It's your depression telling you to punish yourself some more - don't listen to it.

Buy some cheap floaty dresses, and swish around.

and i forgot to mention im a size ten but in a bikini my 3 child belly hangs out did i care no i just wore what i wanted round the pool as people have said there will be women of all shapes and sizes, its not a fashion show where every lass is size 0 and five foot ten lol have a fabulous holiday with your FRIENDS

Go! Enjoy a lovely time with your lovely friends. Take the great advice on here about finding comfy/appropriate clothes and see it as the light and reward after a tricky year. TBH if I was you I'd see it as a 'final hurrah' for indulging in lovely drinks and food and focus on the diet/health kick when you return.

Mate trust me, nobody gives a fuck. Also ebay do some great sarongs and wraps you can cover yourself with those.

Go! X

I've felt how you feel lovely.

Go for it! Your friends are obviously great friends. Wear whatever you find comfiest and have a lovely holiday with your friends in the sun! xx

Honestly everyone is so busy worrying what they look like themselves that they don’t pay an iota bit of attention to anyone else - I never have! Have a fab time! 😊

Definitely pop to primary, matalan and Asda for some cheap summery clothes that fit nicely. May as well be comfy with your cocktails 👍🏻

I have no body confidence but what I love about holidays is that I don’t know anyone (apart from the people I’m with and I love them enough to go away with them).
FWIW I tell myself that I’m too skinny for a bikini. We can’t win
Go and enjoy your cocktails on the beach, have fun!

Buy yourself some new clothes that fit . There is a mum at school who is probably a size 24 on the bottom and she always looks lovely . She is well groomed and smart . I think if your clothes are too small then you won't feel comfy so get new ones that do 🤷‍♀️

I'm certain there were at least one or two people on my last holiday who didn't look like catwalk models. Can't remember noticing them at the time though, and don't remember any of them now Hope you have an amazing time

I feel you might regret it if you don’t go. There will be people there bigger than you, people smaller, taller, younger, older and they will all be absorbed by what they are doing, not by judging you. Your friends sound lovely and they love you for who you are - not your size. It’s easy to say though, I always feel the same cos I’m fat too - promise myself I’ll take myself in hand before the next holiday and lose weight, but I never do. However, I have had fun on every holiday and as you say, better to be on a beach with people you love and a cocktail than sitting at home on your own with a Slimfast missing out on the fun (been there too)

Go on holiday!!!

Being fat but having a great time beats being fat and miserable on your own thinking of the fun everyone else is having!

I've overeaten over Christmas and can't seem to get back in gear. It's grim.

I know Pineapplepower
I was at the circus a family arrived. The GM was fairly heavy, she needed a bit of help getting up one step. She sat behind me and I heard her say to her DD "This is I prefer 't like coming out" it was sad.
Love this little poem.

You are not your age,
Nor the size of clothes you wear,
You are not a weight,
Or the colour of your hair.
You are not your name,
You are not your sweet fake smile.
You are all the books you read,
And all the words you speak,
You are your morning sleepy voice,
And all the smiles you try to hide,
You are the sweetness in your laughter,
And every tear you’ve cried,
You’re the songs you sing so loudly,
When you know you are all alone,
You are the places you have been to,
And the one you call home,
You are the things you believe in,
And the people you love.
You are the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of,
You are made of so much beauty,
But it seems that you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you’re not

Get some new clothes, have a lovely holiday which it sounds like you are looking forward to. You'll come back all rested and in a much better frame of mind to start the diet.

Fuck it, we're all going to look the same in the end. Go and enjoy your holiday!

I felt like this last year and when I got to Italy there were all kinds of people on the beach. Skinny people, old people, fat people, normal people... several topless older women who looked about 70, just sunbathing with their tits out. Nobody was looking at me. More people were looking at the old guy in gold speedos!

You're never going to see half of those people again. Have a lovely time and worry about it when you get home.

Being fat ruins enough areas of your life (I'm several stone overweight)

Don't let it ruin your holiday OP.