Summer born babies - am I wrong?

[Sunflowermuma]

Hi all, I'm probably BU particularly as my friends plans don't actually have any impact on me but

I have 2DD D1 is 3 and May Born. DD2 is 6m July Born

My friend has 3 kids. DS aged 7Sept, DD 3Aug and DS 5mAug

Our two daughters are both due to start school in September at different schools, my friend told me this week how she is in contact with the school to have her daughter start Sept 2020 instead as she's summer born. I asked why as her daughter is already in nursery 5 days, has no health issues and certainly isn't behind on development. Her reasoning? She just doesn't want a child to be youngest in the year.

Her son is very bright and doing really well at school and she puts that down to his sept birthday.

I queried her and said someone has to be the youngest and surely if she doesn't have any developmental issues the school will just say no. She replied saying that she'll make something up as she'll do what she can to get her DD ahead. Again this made no sense to me as surely having another year at nursery won't be good for her and she may get picked on once the other kids realise? She got a bit snappy with me and told me to mind my own so I now feel bad for questioning her, I was polite and tbh just trying to understand her thinking

Do people really do this? I understand delaying for developmental reasons but just to make your child the oldest instead of youngest?

@OhDearGodLookAtThisMess

I disagree. I haven't had any kids of my own go through school yet but I do teach and it is a recognised disadvantage to be summer born. Our pupil progress software even highlights it for us. There's also a great deal of research to back up the trend.

@sunshine6 how easily done it is depends on your local authority, doesn't it? Very difficult in some places, from what I've read.

I'm in Scotland and the cut off is Feb 28th to start in August. However, if your child is born in Jan/ Feb you have the choice whether to delay or not. It is very popular to delay ( I did with Feb born DS3 as age 4, for me, is ridiculously young to start formal schooling).
There is also a movement gaining momentum to follow the Scandinavian/ Polish/ Japanese lead where children don't start formal schooling until.age 7 but a kindergarten system ( full time) is offered from.age 4 with a focus on play and learning through play. All these countries do significantly better in terms of pupil/ parent happiness and results at age 16-19. I'm all for it. Education is not child care, it's education- for the poster who said the sooner the better he/ she could get them off their hands.

Wildbhoysmama 👍

@ReaganSomerset yes it is still a postcode lottery at the moment unfortunately as to how easy it is but gradually more and more are getting onboard with the legislation. For us it was extremely easy! No medical, developmental delay, SEN etc just simply he needed another year at preschool to mature at his own pace rather than be forced to progress before he was ready. Preschool backed us 100% and the school totally agreed with us and as they’re part of an Academy they agreed it and just told the LA that was what was happening. Best decision we ever made. He’s only been there a few months but he’s certainly not noticeably older than the other children and he’s still immature and academically behind some of the younger children which just shows how far behind he would have been if he’d started last year. The academic side doesn’t concern me as it was his emotional well being and confidence that concerned me most. Being happy, confident and contented will help him to learn.

The cut off in Scotland is end of February; I have a January child and a February child. We held the January child back so they were 5 years 7 months when they started as they simply not ready to go (advised by nursery/school) The February child went at 4 years 6 months as they were ready; they have been fine but found the emotional aspects (friends etc.) difficult. January child got a sparkling set of GCSEs so didn’t suffer from being held back. If your friend’s child is not ready then I would hold them back - they are only kids for a short time and we start formal schooling too early in my opinion!

Deferring seems to make sense for the youngest summer babies. My main concern (for everyone) is this - what impact will it have on a class as a whole and on the Spring born children, having an age range of 16/17 months in a class rather than a 12 month range from oldest to youngest? Has anyone seen any data on this?
I get the concern at a july or august baby starting too young (one of my children is an end of july child so trust me I know) - but what's the impact on a Spring child having kids 17 months older than them in their class?

Your friend is right. The benefit of being the oldest is huge both at age 5 and right throughout primary and high school. It’s well recognised here in Scotland which is why they give you free choice to defer the younger kids and why so many people choose to do this, despite the later start age meaning they don’t start til 5 and a half. I sent my bright confident first born and she is one of the youngest. I deferred my 2nd and the difference is staggering. Never once regretted it even though she is also bright and articulate and our primary one is largely play based. Typically it t benefits boys more than girls too.

I left my July n June dcs to start at 5. (ireland though so was up to us) no regrets dc1 was very immature & dc2 was shy. The year has worked for them & I will do same with dc3 (July) what's the rush to start school? I don't see the year makes a difference on ability but it does on social & maturity level (at times!)

Hi. I started my August born twins at CSA i.e. started at 5 years old in reception. They are currently in year 4. they are officially in this year group and will not be moved back to the other year. they are absolutely thriving. We have official permission from the council, our local school and our local secondary has agreed to this.

Every child and family is different. In my daughters' class, there is a boy and a girl, who are summer born, and are still very immature, struggling to really take advantage of their learning. If they were allowed to start at 5 in reception, I think their school experience would be different. They are in line with the 'younger' group. Both intelligent, just very young. They miss play time and have to do a lot of extra work for something that appears to be linked to their age development.

It is not an easy process, but for our family it was the best decision. Only the family can decide. That year between 4 and 5 our daughters became different people. One was not speaking until 5 and then very reluctantly. They were not my first children. They come educated and active families. They were not ready.

Everyone has to decide themselves, but you are BU to judge their decision. You make your decision as to what is best for your daughter and family. My daughters have never been teased about being the oldest. The youngest in their class is teased for being a baby and unable to do what others can do. This is worse as it carries on for a lifetime. I know because I was that 'baby'.

@Veryfinethreadmyfriend I don’t think there would really be much impact at all as it would only be a 17 month gap between a beginning of April child & an end of August child of which there wouldn’t be very many at all and as all children develop differently there could be hardly any difference between them academically or emotionally.

If her child starts in 2020 she will go into Y1 and miss out on FS (Reception) if she's in England.

I haven't read all the replies but its a well known fact amount teachers of early years that starting young is not a good idea. No need to be the oldest but dc born that summer are at a disadvantage. I find with Maths especially age makes a difference in picking up concepts. Of course generally dealing with all the change is far easier for a more mature child.
I work in special needs support and my first question is usually ..how old is she? If its a young for their year child they can catch up well later but why put them through it if its possible to wait.
My dd was reading childrens novels at 4 but l still didn't start her in school until 5 in the Summer. Never regretted it.

...sorry posted too soo. So she will join in with same age group in any event.

DD has a very late August birthday. She is also autistic. She found preschool really tough as the free play element actually stressed her a lot.

It would've been unfair of us to defer and condemn her to another year of it.
She was much happier and made great progress in the more structured environment of reception.

As I was born mid august it explains why I was so crap at school and only got one O Level! If I was born 17 days later I would have gone to university!

@itsalloverforanotheryear no she will start reception at Compulsory School Age which is the term starting after her 5th birthday of the school & Local Authority agree it. It is a legal right to request this for summerborns.

I wonder why lots of posters are viewing it as holding a child back? I think of it as giving a child an additional year to explore, play and thrive! I have started my 5 year old July born son this year at compulsory school age i.e. 5. My decision was based on knowing my child and research rather than anecdote.

Agree that there is a lot of misinformation on thread. It's an easy request in lots of LAs. Also if eligible, your child still gets 30 hrs funding which takes away financial penalty.

When I asked head teachers in schools I was applying to think of any disadvantage to the school or my child/ other pupils, they couldn't think of any which gave me my answer.

For us, it wasn’t just the ‘starting at four’ worry, it was also the impact at the other end, heading for university at 17 rather than 18.

My DD is an August baby and premature. Shevery much would have benefitted from a delayed start.

The government rules changed the year after she started if they had been in existence I would have opted to delay her starting school.

She tracked behind significant from the start (was still having day naps up until the week she started school age 4 years and 1 week)

Physically she was exhausted mentally she wasn’t ready.

In primary school I have noticed there is a very clear difference between children who are older and the younger ones. Both academically, friendship groups.

My daughter left Primary school on an equal level to her class mates and got into exam based secondary schools that others in her year didn’t. So academically being the youngest didn’t harm her studies wise but she has felt bottom of the pile and clawed her way up.
It has created a fighting spirit within her and is much more driven. Could that be because of it. Who is to know.
The early years of primary school not feeling good enough was not great for her self esteem

I think the rules have been changed.Now you can ask to defer until the term they are five.statistics show that children born in august starting school just after their forth birthday are 6.4% less likely to achieve five grade A to Cs than children born in the autumn .It is why the government have advised councils to defer places without the need to skip a year.This should apply to all children born from 1st April to 31st August.I would urge parents to really consider this as many children just agent ready for school

Itsallover
No she won't she will starr un reception aged 5 not 4

In both my children’s primary school classes, the two kids that did best we’re the youngest! Think their school did smart move of in reception, banding them according to birth date. Starting youngest class much more slowly re hours. Then mixed them up in Year 1.
I was also a summer baby, no such luck with the steady start for me. But I fared well, got into grammar school. Loved primary school. Think the age thing may be a disadvantage in first year, but doubt it’s most important reason some do better than others.

I’m very interested by how many are saying they intend to delay their summer borns and I wonder if they will all actually end up doing so. I live in a London borough that lets them defer no problem but I’m not deferring and neither are any of the many friends I’ve made with summer borns.

When the time comes many may change their mind - my daughter is already chomping at the bit to start school and the thought of her spending another year in nursery doesn’t feel at all right - she’s alsreadt progressing in phonics and writing and I think spending another year at nursery she would be bored witless! If I did defer shs may also then be bored when she got to school. I’m a September born and by the time I got there I could read and write fluently whilst others were learning to read - being ahead continued and it really put me off. I eventually stopped trying.

Might have already been said so apologies but what happens when the child is older at high school etc and other kids work out she’s in the year below (if they allow that) she should he? Kids can be cruel and may think it’s becayse she does have problems keeping up??