To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

[YouWinAgain]

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1. SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

I would speak to the school and explain that DD needs a jumper in size 3/4 they may be able to get it in that size. You won't be the first and you won't be the last to have a child who needs a smaller size. It's normal for reception age children to still be in a 3/4 year clothes.

@youwinagain: I've been following your story since the start but wanted to offer some uniform advice. Have a look in Tesco. We found 3-4 school jumpers in September and they're lovely quality and not expensive. Maybe other supermarkets have similar?

The school I want for her have been very understanding of a few problems with the uniform due to her SN so hopefully if I get that school (which I really want for her and is our catchment school) they'll be able to help.

I really wanted her to have a logoed jumper/cardigan, I rarely see children in none logoed ones round where I live and I don't want her to be different plus I think they're smarter.

It may be that you can get her a jumper that fits and have it logoed. The school is likely to own the pattern, although they may dictate where you must send it to be done.

But lots of kids will have no logo one, or some plain and one with a logo for special occasions.

Really don't spend the money on logo'd school things. Reception and Y1-3 kids won't notice and they just get absolutely trashed anyway. Buy one logo'd jumper for 'good', i.e. assembly days and school photos, and have the rest from supermarket in the correct colour.

They're not that expensive which is why hardly anyone has the none logoed ones I think. £5 for a logoed polo shirt, and £8 for a logoed jumper, same as the Nursery ones (same supplier).

Don't worry about her size, my two wore age 5 knickers when they were 9/10 and now they're taller than me, and I'm 5 ft 7!

Speak to the school first, see if they can get it in the smaller size, if not buy the smallest they have and I'll take them in

From Tesco you used to be able to order logo'd uniforms from loads of schools. They stopped that service a few weeks ago, but their supplier is linked to from that website. Look Here

Any school or organisation can send them their logo and then you can order from them. Just looked and they go down to size 2-3 in school cardigans. So you could look your school up there and if it's not there get them to send the logo in.

I haven't used them, but have been lurking on your thread and remembered reading about that service before. So that will solve the problem if it becomes an issue.

On a separate note- you rock. I was reading through your thread the other day and you are doing so well for DD.

QueenoftheStress You're a star thank you, you're already doing enough for me though! Please don't put yourself out

I will speak to the headteacher of the school when we know. If she gets the school I want, which is looking likely the HT is amazing and so approachable so I'm sure she'll come up with a solution together, she's already attended some of the meetings with Nursery so knows Mini a bit.

Pffft it'll be no effort at all but hopefully she'll figure something out!

I thought her falling down the stairs was scary, I was wrong...

She was exhausted today as she was late to bed due to contact being later yesterday (a whole other thead ).

She's throwing a tantrum during bedtime hour, she comes up headbutts me so I pick her up and put her in "time out". She won't stay so I shut her behind the babygate on her bedroom door.

I hear her get on her bed.

There's a huge bang and then Mini just screaming "I hurt myself, help me mummy". Go in, she's covered in blood. Took me a second to realise she's having a nosebleed, a bad one. Soaked through her pyjamas in seconds bad.

Stopped the bleed, ran her bath and changed her bed. She's now really quiet, not trying to get out of going to bed. When I've asked her whats happened she says she climbed onto her bed, then onto her radiator to look out of the window, lost her footing and smacked her nose on the radiator "it hurt mummy".

Her bedroom looked like a scene out of a horror film...bed covers, pillows. blankets, pyjamas, teddies and even the carpet had blood on. I showed her afterwards and she got upset and said "I hurt myself and it hurt".

Wish I could move her bed away from the radiator/window but there's nowhere else for it. Have to hope she's learnt her lesson. My washing machine is going to be busy tomorrow.

Feeling guilty as I gave her calpol after her bath as I thought she might be in pain - worried that's rewarding her for what happened but she's obviously a bit shaken by it all as she's so quiet.

That must have been frightening for both of you. Still, hopefully, she won't try that again.

Sending hugs to both of you.

She's gone to sleep ok, and I've checked her Tapestry and her Nursery have uploaded a video of her swimming lesson this week, it was just what I needed after that.

There's no sound on it but you can see her laughing her head off as she jumps in and her practicing floating in the water, she has no arm floats or armbands and even the teacher didn't hold on to her - it was amazing to see such a small child able to do that!

Meant to add yesterday the Nursery Manager came up with a good solution so we had a way of knowing if he'd changed her pants.

Nursery bag any wet/soiled clothes, this is actually helpful for me as I know any clothes bagged need washing (of course the underwear she's wearing too). So I've told ExH that I'd like him to bag worn underwear so I know which needs washing (as I'll often leave 2-3 pairs in her bag unworn until they're used by me/Nursery). So I can tell if he's changed her or not!

Wow, she's doing really well at swimming, and it's great that she's so confident in the water.

It makes sense to put dirty/worn clothes in a separate bag. I do that when we go on holiday. It also keeps the clean clothes clean. I wonder if he'll bother though, even if he does change her clothes.

He said he would, I phrased as "we use this system with Nursery and it works, so we should all use the same system"

That's good then.

Got to love my granddad!

Mentioned on Wednesday that if I had the money I'd love a George Foreman Grill. Not one of the big ones just the little 2 portion one.

Package came to my door last night addressed to my granddad. Emailed him to ask why, the reply "Open it, it's for you".

Guess what he's got me?

Did myself a bacon sandwich on it this morning...I had missed how great the bacon comes off those (had one at Uni but it wasn't mine so couldn't keep it).

So so happy right now. Possibly also because I got 12 hours sleep last night due to DD being at her dads!

That was nice of him.

And 12 hours sleep too!

He bagged her pants! And changed her clothes fully. So the system works.

I can relax even more now.

There's a few minor niggles but I think they're so minor I can live with them (she's come back with a cut lip due to a fall in the garden and her hair clips never seem to come home, but they never do from Nursery so not the end of the world)

Also not happy she's walked in and called me by first name and demanded a cup of tea!

Haha!