To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

[YouWinAgain]

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1. SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

You could add some shelves over the bath if you're allowed? We have some really narrow ones that might not hold much, but keep stuff tidy.

What about a tension rod shelf in the corner of the bath? We got ours from Ikea but you can get them elsewhere.

That is wonderful news OP!

For bathroom storage- something like this for bath toys would help raise any toys up

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07CVDFCM5/ref=asc_df_B07CVDFCM558694693/?hvlocphy=9046829&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309862978979&creative=22110&hvpone&hvlocint&creativeASIN=B07CVDFCM5&th=1&hvpos=1o8&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-466957322135&hvrand=5437987178640618618

Or something like this

www.safetots.co.uk/clippasafe-bath-toy-bag.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiAtvPjBRDPARIsAJfZz0qVE_SzFjovY9k7krZfLFygf1PMi5lnjkS59URMRzkqFdOG8fXpwLEaAqrdEALw_wcB

Something like this for your bottles etc

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01H2SNOLE/ref=asc_df_B01H2SNOLE58696978/?hvlocphy=9046829&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&hvnetw=g&hvadid=214522367922&creative=22122&hvpone&hvlocint&creativeASIN=B01H2SNOLE&hvpos=1o11&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-421870970589&hvrand=6798807121091731562

Do you want to send me a picture on fb and I'll help? I am queen at finding storage spaces!

You can buy over the door hangers that have metal storage baskets on them. Like this

You can also get baskets that use suckers to stick the to the wall.

And tower caddies that use tension and fit in the corner of the bath, like this.
That one's really expensive, and you can get them elsewhere cheaper, but it's just to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Good places to look for storage, are B&M, Homebargains, Dunelm, and Poundland.

How deep is the windowsill in the bathroom? Can you fit baskets on there?

What about something like this?

www.amazon.com/Zenna-Home-Bathroom-spacesaver-White/dp/B006H1R450?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=0d599ed3-00ff-5256-807a-3165422818a6&pf_rd_r=6TYP08JMJF16F1JMVJTJ&pf_rd_s=merchandised-search-10&pf_rd_t=101&ref_=Oct_RAsinC_Ajax_16187581011_0&tag=mumsnetforum-21&pf_rd_i=16187581011

The thing to remember is that if you use this type of thing, you'd have to be able to affix it to the wall so Mini can't pull it down on herself.

Windowsill is tiny, the cat can't even sit on it.

I like the metal ones that Motoko showed they're the sort of thing I'm looking for. There's a B+M in town so I'll pop down tomorrow to have a look.

This looks a bargain, but may not be big enough:
www.bmstores.co.uk/products/beldray-basket-bathroom-door-hook-341805
Wilkinsons have a couple of possibles on this page as well:
www.wilko.com/en-uk/collections/bathroom-storage/c/5093

Daisymay2 I'll have a look for something like the second one when I go to B+M tomorrow. Seen a couple of things on Amazon as well and Argos which I can get to on Saturday so a few options.

It's literally for bottles of shampoo and conditioner, shower gel, DDs bath toys and her bath stuff but it's a lot of stuff in a tiny space when you have no storage.

Mini got her level 2 swimming today. Nursery had already told the SW and I got a text saying it's all going in the report for court. Not sure how it's relevant, but hey ho!

Still super proud Nursery did a little presentation of all the certificates in circle time, and Mini says "I got given swimming certificate mummy, aren't I good?" which made me so happy, means the £££ i spend on it is worth it.

That's great! Swimming is such an important lifeskill, and schools don't seem to do much swimming nowadays. I remember going swimming all through juniors, every week, yet by the time my kids went to school, they only seemed to do it for half a term at a time. That was over 20 years ago, so I dread to think what it's like now.

Well done Mini!

Mini's potential school do 10 lessons a year for Reception and Year 1. If the kids are at the correct standard after year 1 they don't go anymore, such a shame. I also loved going swimming and I live in a town with a big canal running through it which is a big obvious hazard!

It goes in the report because it shows that you're facilitating her learning life skills - not letting her delay get in the way and putting her happiness above anything else

Happy International Women's Day!

It appears Mini has inherited my stubborn streak. Walking back from Nursery (My mum had the car or I'd have used it) in the rain, Mini decides she no longer wants to walk, won't sit in the pushchair either wants to be carried.

3 times I put her in her pushchair, and 3 times she got out and plonked herself on the floor screaming "Carry me".

Eventually she gave in and sat screaming in her pushchair all the way home after a car drove past in a puddle so fast we both got soaked

Is it Wine Time yet?

Oh god, my daughter was like that! She was soooo stubborn! 1 days being born, would only drink from my boobs, even when she was on solids. I tried every type of teat on the market, with expressed milk, and when she was about 6 months, I tried sippy cups, but nope!

If we were out and she decided she wasn't going to move, she stayed, even when I did the "I'm going, you'll be on your own" and hide (while still being able to see her, obviously) she'd just stand there, until eventually, I had to go back, and pick her up.

She's in her 30s now, and is still stubborn.

10 days late being born!

Oh yes, and even when she was being born, she had the cord around her neck. She really didn't want to leave the cosiness of my womb!

Mini was also 10 days late. She was stubborn though and wouldn't breastfeed, despite 6 weeks of me trying. She loved formula though so I try not to beat myself up over it too much.

Just seen some photo's on the Nursery Facebook page of the local fire service visiting Nursery (they had the police and ambulance service visit recently too) there's an adorable photo of Mini playing with the hose and laughing her head off at the fireman.

The important thing is that she was fed. My DD was such a velcro baby, if she'd have taken a bottle occasionally, I'd have loved it. My first was formula fed, DD, breast, and 3rd a mix, but mostly breast. At least with my son, I was able to go out for an evening, and know he wasn't screaming the place down.
Don't beat yourself up.

I bet they loved having the fire engine visit!

She told my granddad in Tesco she "needed" a new unicorn dress up outfit, guess what granddad bought her?

Mini dropped off at her dads.

Actually been looking forward to this weekend, knowing I'll get 8 hours uninterrupted sleep tonight has kept me going.

I'm starting to enjoy this EOW lark.

She's got him wrapped around her little unicorn finger!

I also used to enjoy my free weekends, and made the most of them!

8 hours turned into 12 hours must have needed it!

Woke at 7am for the toilet and feed the cat then went back to sleep until 10.45. Just having some breakfast and cracking on with housework as it'll mean I have less to do in the week!

I know by 2pm I'll be missing her

He's done it again, put her in the same pants as yesterday.

I wasn't going to say/do anything about it but she's very obviously dribbled a bit (possibly not quite made it to the toilet in time - it happens, even when she's with me) and her pants were wet so her bums now sore.

What do I do? And how do I bring it up with him without causing a shit storm or making him think I'm going to use it against him? I really don't want the overnights stopped at all.

Speak to your social worker or solicitor for advice? Do you have a contact book that stays with her?