To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

[YouWinAgain]

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1. SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

Mini has a fall at nursery and grazes her elbow, it's the first thing she tells me when I go to get her.

All the way home she tries to convince me she's allowed Mini Eggs because she fell over.

I did let her have them, she was very convincing

Just what I needed.

Haha, I like her style! Maybe she'll be an actor when she grows up!

She is trying to milk it a bit, acting would be good for her. I am trying to get her into the SN drama group locally but there is a waiting list.

Might as well stick her on the list if you can afford it. She'll probably enjoy all the dressing up and pretend play.

NC but long time poster on your threads
I love the way Mini is being a Dr to you :) Get well soon x

Just rang the swim school to confirm DDs place for the next term (lessons all paid for remember) and they told me I'm owed a refund of 3 lessons (so just under £30) because Nursery took her on half way through a term due her grommets op. I could either have 3 free lessons or a refund.

I took the refund this time as I'm going to start taking DD swimming eo sunday when the local leisure centre is open again

Feeling less groggy today, down to just normal paracetamol and the antibiotics, had a bit of toast at breakfast but couldn't manage it all but it's a start.

And her progress report through email:

"MiniWin is making lovely progress and loves her swimming lessons. She is a super smiley character every week and loves all the activities. She works super hard on her swimming. And is progressing towards our Level 2 certificate. Well done MiniWin!"

even her swimming teacher loves her!

What a nice surprise to be £30 better off! I would have taken the refund too.

It sounds like she's such a lovely, happy child, that everyone loves her.

That's down to you!

That's down to you!

I can't be doing to bad a job. even if a account her behaviour to Nursery I can say "I chose the Nursery so I did a good job there".

Looking back through Tapestry at her very first photos from Nursery, feeling sad that in 4 months time it won't be updated anymore and I'll never again have a Nursery aged child . The homemade knitwear she'd wear to Nursery, the video of her first steps that they caught on camera, the video of her and her naughty little friends sitting on the floor dancing during naptime instead of sleeping.

Oh I feel all nostalgic. I love her. I am loving the age she's at now and I wouldn't exchange it for all the worry about when/if she'd walk, when/if she'd talk. But it's nice to look back and feel a bit good about it.

even checked me over with her doctors set "Oh no mummy you need cuddles to make you better" then got under the blankets with me.

I think I love your Minnie! And if she's modelling your parenting (I bet she is) you're clearly doing a wonderful job.

And if she's modelling your parenting

She mimics me at Nursery, she'll tuck the dolls into bed, kiss them on the nose. Walk away, say "Night Night, I love you" and then blow them a kiss which is what I do at night. She also thanks the staff when they put food in front of her and also when they help her in the toilet which is probably my influence too as I automatically say thank you for everything.

I so love all your updates and I look for them every day! xxxxxx you are such a good mum to mini 😍 give yourself a great big pat on your back xx

They grow up too quickly.

They grow up too quickly

Definitely

If anyone needs a running commentary of how to eat spaghetti and meatballs from a 3ft tall human with a collender on their head let me know

We have to slurp the spaghetti and nom nom the meatballs apparently

I don't Need a running commentary, but I really really want one!

Showed the Social Worker the report from Nursery, and she's going to add it to the updated S7 report for court, not sure what relevance it has but I didn't want to argue.

She's really happy with me. There's some really small things I need to do to get the house up to standard but it's really minor things like wiping the front of my kitchen cupboards and decluttering the bathroom (I have no storage in there so it can quickly get overrun with shampoo and shower gel as I have a bit of a bulk buying problem) but she says the place is no longer dangerous (like it was when she first became involved) and if I keep it up she will close the case back to the SW for Disability and SN once the April court hearing is over.

So so happy.

Tired but happy.

Not Nursery swimming lessons...can tell tiredness is catching up with me

That's great news. Have you got a drawer in your bedroom where you can store items until needed or some lidded crates?

Well done, I was going to say the same as RandomMess about having a space where you can keep them.

Or do you have space for a narrow storage cupboard like this. And it's not that expensive £20.

No room for any kind of storage, hard to explain but there's the toilet and sink under the window right next to each other (you can literally wash your hands from the toilet). And then length ways next to the sink is a 3/4 bath, and then the door opposite the toilet. The cat litter tray is under the sink in the only space there. I already keep cleaning products in the kitchen.

the swears by email had a recommendation to this today: www.amazon.co.uk/Bekith-24-Pocket-Over-Organizer-Storage/dp/B00VURPXAO/ref=as_li_ss_tl?linkCode=ll1&linkId=d0843cb6642ca5310c8db5eb3b772864&ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_8&language=en_GB&tag=mumsnetforum-21
Could you put your spare bottles of shampoo etc in the pockets? Hung over the door they will be out of Mini's reach

Your doing great!

Does the panel come off the bath? If does it's the perfect place to stash your extra stuff and keep it out of sight.

Another cheap idea is get an over the door hanger and put a plastic shoe organiser on it, you know the ones with plastic pockets, you can pop stuff in and see at a glance what you have .

If you go on Pinterest and search small bathroom storage you'll find lots of ideas.

I have not heard of SW getting so involved in thst level of minor details, tbh. Yes I can understand safety critical stuff like cleaning products not stored away etc, but wiping down the kitchen cabinets??? Blimey, so what? Unless they are covered in dirt I can't see how that's a major issue, considering all the other far more major stuff that's important? Am I missing something here?

Sorry, yes yes! To such a glowing report! But really, doesn't the SW have better stuff to comment on? What about the way your ex behaves and his impact on Mini?