To say I’ve won! I’ve actually won!

[YouWinAgain]

Some of you will recognise my story. I hope you do, and yes I am that poster.

In March 2018 I was attacked and had threats made against my life by my husband in front of our DD aged 2 at the time.

I left him and he was a s**t. He and his family made my life hell threatening to take DD out of her Nursery, pinning me against shelves in supermarkets, accusing me of alienating DD from her paternal family, and basically being made to feel like the perpetrator instead of the victim. He also left me and DD living at my mums for 10 days just because he could. He left me with GAD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.

In November he took me to court for full residency of DD, now aged 3, accusing me of emotionally abusing her and not being able to put her first.

It was a rough time for me; I almost gave up at times, felt like everything was against me including the Social Worker who seemed to swap sides after it went to court. She was also at times suggesting 50/50 contact.

I got a SHL (S**t Hot Lawyer) and was still worried, panicking and had to be grounded several times by her and posters on MN thank you all. I had home condition problems when we first split but did my upmost to work with everyone and get myself back on track. At times I felt like it was hopeless even when he didn’t turn up to her appointments or Nativity Play.

DRA hearing is 2 weeks today. Had the final meeting with the SW this morning to give me the S7, I was nervous as I was expecting her to be on ExHs side.

There’s two bits of good news:

1. SW was recommending that DD stay living with me, and contact with ExH be once a week for 2 hours, and then every other Sunday for 5 hours going up to full day contact (9am-5pm) in 3 months’ time and then overnight just Saturday every other weekend from September when DD starts school. SW suggested the weekly contact cannot clash with her appointments or social occasions!

But 2) 2 weeks before the DRA, ExH has decided to drop the residency and just apply for consistent regular contact with DD. He hasn’t asked for a specific pattern so I think my SHL can negotiate.

I am crying with happiness. We still have to go to court on 21st but I’m not worried anymore, they aren’t taking my DD off me. Looks like SW was on DDs side and neither mine or ExHs.

Sometimes it pays to persevere. I’ve won haven’t I? I’ve actually won!

I agree with the advice you've been given. I'd add to it; "don't comment, and DO document!".

Smother if it is any comfort I read it as you have PMed details of also having to go through shit because of an Ex and the court system. So you understood how things were going.

I certainly have no idea of what anyone did or didn't do in your case.

Understandable. Hopefully mnhq can edit the OP's post to remove any reference to you.

To be honest Smother, even if Win hadn't mentioned that you'd PMd her, it was obvious from all your other posts, that you've been through an abusive relationship.

Just had a call on a private number, a lady had my name address and said she’s from local police. Apparently 2 officers are on the way to my house now. When I asked why she said they need to check Im ok.

They’re not here yet, and I’m shaking like a leaf. Anyone know why they might be coming? Is it standard procedure?

I hope OK Youwin.

I would guess someone is shit stirring, hopefully they are just doing a 'welfare check'. I would be honest that you are having issues with your EX and his family.

No advice OP but make sure you check their ID etc before allowing them in - could you call your local police station and ask if officers have been sent to your address?

If they’re not here by 10.30 I’ll call 101 and find out what’s happening. I can’t think I’ve said anything worrying to anyone, actually I’m happier than ever. I’ve been trying to get a doctors appointment but not because I’m feeling bad or anything.

Seriously worried now.

Yes, check ID. As Clutter said, it's probably someone shit stirring, saying they're worried because they can't contact you. You might also get SS turning up too, another time. It's a favourite tactic of malicious people, to cause trouble, inconvenience, and worry.

It will be fine. You know you and Mini are ok so nothing to worry about. I second the suggestion of calling your local station, or 101, and just explaining that you've had this call and weren't sure if it was genuine.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry. It's really, really, unlikely it's because of anything you've said or done, but far more likely it's a malicious call that they've had.

Try not to worry. But as others have said, do check ID and be sure to ask them why they are there and if a 'welfare check' call was made, see if they will tell you who made the call (they probably won't). Just be very calm and 'puzzled' as to why the officers are there.

And do let your solicitor know. I have a feeling that it's the arsehole (or his parents) trying to stir shit. If the police won't tell you who made the call, your solicitor may be able to find out who it was. And if it was them, that's more 'ammo' on your side!

Someone had said they hadn’t seen me for awhile which puzzles me as I’m always in and out of here.

It was the female officer who came out to me last year another female and 2 male officers which seemed a bit excessive.

They woke DD up to check she was ok and lectured me about keeping in contact. Again I’m puzzled as I’ve had contact with my mum, the GPs surgery, DDs SALT and her Nursery today.

Oh well...

Hope everything is ok. Did she give you a reference number? In your shoes I’d be calling the police now to find out what’s going on.

Just seen your update. Put a call into your SHL tomorrow and see what she makes of it.
Sounds bizarre

Keeping in contact with who exactly?

I agree WhoKnew, let you SHL know tomorrow, I would also let your SW know and nursery in case they get a 'visit' as well.

As I said some one is shit stirring.

I did ask who they meant about keeping in contact, but they just said people.

I told them about it going through court and ExH and how he’s had contact with DD. Yesterday being the last time and Thursday being the next.

I can’t think it was Nursery as they’d have warned me I think, plus I spoke to her keyworker about something relating to DD and said we could discuss it more when I get her tomorrow.

Very bizarre.

Must add apart from Nursery who I spoke to on the phone all of those people saw me in the flesh, including the receptionists at the clinic where we go for SALT.

They wouldn't be coming unless they had a reason. I hope you're ok. If XH has done something threatening that's not necessarily a bad thing for you.

I’ve spoken to my mum and brother just to make doubly sure it wasn’t them but they’ve both said they know I’m fine.

I’m really concerned about this. Why would someone maliciously report me to the police? I mean what actual gain would it have for ExH? He’s been seeing DD and I’m still convinced the push for residency/overnight contact is from his mum.

So that leads to her, but why would she do it? What gain does she get? Or does she think a welfare check is just them popping their heads through the door? I mean they physically woke DD up, they asked me to do it but still she had to be woken up.

They are probably trying to intimidate you and possibly hoping that you would be caught out with a messy house or some other imperfection!

It was a bit messy but it was 10.30pm on a Monday night, I'm exhausted so I've done the bare minimum, I do most of my cleaning on Tuesday as it's the day DDs in Nursery so I can get things done.