to hate reins for kids?

[lulamae]

I almost choked on my lentil goulash when dh suggested buying kiddy reins for dd as she's now walking and beginning to enjoy her freedom. I do hope he was trying to wind me up.. Imho they are for lazy parents who could'nt be arsed chasing after naturally exuberant kids.....

I am aware that many parents are afraid of losing their kids.....but surely this is taking things to extremes. Apparently my MIL used them on dh, but she's an overweight control freak. I rest my case.

Well it's like a lot of things isn't it. You might not like them in theory, and in practice you might get a child where it isn't an issue. Then again you might not and you realise that some of these things are actually very useful which is why people use them. Didn't occur to me to use them for DD because simply it just wasn't necessary. However for DS who is totally different, reins were brilliant for the short period of time when he was prone to legging it whenever he felt like it. It was only for a few months or so but meant that he could get the exercise he needed walking to school with DD whilst I could make sure that he didn't end up under a car. And it's no good saying I was being lazy doing this, I have a DD with dyspraxia who is prone to walk into lamp posts,other pedestrians or anything else that happens to be on the pavement. She takes a lot of concentration to walk down the road with and I couldn't safely deal with both of them without her walking into lamp post or falling off the pavement or DS ending up in the road.

Have only read OP, but we invested in reins for DS and got him used to them without giving a sod about how it looks to other people. And I'm glad we did because he's now 2 while I'm 40 weeks pregnant, and he can outrun me over even a short distance. Especially if we're in a car park or similarly dangerous spot.

I didn't like reins either when ds1 was my only still toddling child. Now he's 8, non verbal, runs extremely fast, has two younger brothers, no road sense. I bought the waistbelt rain for him about 3 years ago. It has a lot of use. Sometimes people gawp. I find those that do rather ignorant. How nice to be able to walk down the street without having to hold your 8 year old at all times.

Makes me laugh when I see the first time mother of a one-year-old tell the rest of us how to parent.
Grow up, Lulamae.

Reins have there place, they are a godsend for my stroppy 3yr old dd1 who will not hold hands, or hold on to the pushchair. She will not sit in the supermarket trolley if she does not want to, so reins or now the threat of reins keep her safe. YABU.

Oh I loathe them. I haven't read the thread, should I before I go on?

Yes you are being unreasonable.

You haven't got the slightest idea of why other people use reins.

You just assume they're lazy without knowing the first thing about them and their lives.

Why does it matter to you so much? Does it make you feel better about your own parenting if you can look at someone else and smugly feel they're not doing the right, the way you are?

ahundredtimes yes I would (and be warned that SN parents are reliant on them before you criticise)

I still haven't! Thing is if you want your 3 yo to hold your hand or hold the buggy then you tell them to do it, and make sure they do. I'm amazed at the amount of people who say 'oh but she won't'.

Peachy too late! lol. Okay, will go read. (i'm talking about NT children though. . . .)

I had to laugh today actually- they had the induction day at the school DS3 should be going to if it weren't for hsi SN (and that he would have to attend if no SN school palce at Easter)- list of things every xchild should be able to do

Walk correctly in a line when going around the village

Dress and undress themselcves

Turn coat sleeves inside if necessary

Write name is both lower and upper case

NEVER have an accident and always ask for the toilet

Like the OP there seems to be some model of the p[erfect kid that others see and assume is achievable for all kids. FWIW DS3 can do none of those things and maybe never will. Most kids will be in the middle somewhere. Doesn't matter, as longa s their aprents are aware where theya re and do what it takes to keep them safe- whether thats close supervision or reins.

"they are for lazy parents who could'nt be arsed chasing after naturally exuberant kids"

really?...so u think that "chasing" after your child next to a deadly busy main road is an appropriate thing to do if they wont hold your hand?

Rains give a parent peace of mind especially when they have more than one child and they live in a busy area. My son is quite happy to hold my hand but i no tha if he lets go and runs that there is something there to stop him from getting hurt. I think you should keep that kind of opinion to yourself parents have the right to use what they like to ensure there childs safety without being called lazy or being told there not bothered about there children.

Rant Over....for now

Oh yes, I have done that, honest. I had three under 5, and two of them were/are lunatic boys.

I've read the thread now. I'd just like to say I don't think people who do use them are lazy whatsits, or whatever the OP said.

My 'naturally exuberant' child was lucky he wasn't killed dashing across a busy road. It's not easy handling two small children plus a baby in a buggy.

Unless you're an octopus of course.

And I'm neither lazy nor overweight.

"Goodness, there was a lot of angry reaction there. I suppose I deserved it with my less than lovely description of my MIL, which I still stand by, btw."

It's not your description of your MIL
people object to - there have been far worse comments than that one on the subject (many of them by me)What I object to is your implied false syllogism:

My MIL is a control frak
My MIL used reins
People who use reins are control freaks

But I still think that at 2 if they're told to hold the buggy or your hand then they blimmin well do it, and if they don't then you throw them in the pushchair and strap them in and they scream down the pavement until they understand that they HAVE to. It's not that difficult is it?

Mind you, I'm still having this conversation with dd and she's 5 now.

And come to think of it I'm also still saying to ds1 (8) and ds2(7) - walk with me, stop wandering off. So perhaps I'm not the best person suddenly on Perfect Pavement Walking.

I'm sure you're fine ahundredtimes

DS3 won't even hold hands so the only alternative is a buggy- I would occasionally for safety but Dh cant cope with yet another setback for his beloved ds3. We end up carrying him around a lot, he's small for his age (2nd centile) but still heavy enough. Reins give me a break.

On the MIL thing mine is a control freak too- and didn't use reins. She genuinely prefers her dog to all poeple, and keeps him firmly on a lead. She used to let BIL sleep with a screwdriver instead of a teddy too. So I dont think reins or general safety sense in necessarily involved in being a control freak, that is much deeper set in origin.

So "throwing them into a pushchair and strapping them down" is OK but putting reins or a wrist strap is not!!!!

FFS each to their own, why the hell does it matter. It doesn't affect your life so find something else to do rather than be judgemental of people you know nothing about

Is that to me Voluptua? Oh I'm not judgemental at all of other people who use them. I think if it works for you then do it, like hatwoman on her walk to nursery, but I don't like them much that's all. is not much of a conversation really is it? lol.

Oh and throwing them in a pushchair is pretty dire really, sometimes when I was really cross I would sort of put my knee on them while I did the straps up TOO HARD.

ooh and the tantruming 2 yo and the carseat^, I was positively brutish then too.

so why make things harder for yourself when you dont need to?

buy some reins and let them walk if thats what they want?