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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate reins for kids?

196 replies

lulamae · 28/06/2007 16:22

I almost choked on my lentil goulash when dh suggested buying kiddy reins for dd as she's now walking and beginning to enjoy her freedom. I do hope he was trying to wind me up.. Imho they are for lazy parents who could'nt be arsed chasing after naturally exuberant kids.....

I am aware that many parents are afraid of losing their kids.....but surely this is taking things to extremes. Apparently my MIL used them on dh, but she's an overweight control freak. I rest my case.

OP posts:
nightowl · 28/06/2007 17:24

lol that you only have a one year old and cant see yourself using them lulamae!

plenty of things i never saw myself doing.

it depends on the child, like everything else. ive got the two of them and tbh i never thought "righty o, he/she's walking now, into the reins we go".

ds never needed them. just as he never needed stairgates, socket covers, cupboard covers, never ate anything he shouldnt. my perfectly behaved boy who always did what he was told, never tantrumed and hardly ever cried. he always held hands lovely and never ran away from me.

oh how smug i was until i had dd.

dd who at one point was having up to 15 tantrums a day and thought nothing of throwing herself into the road at every available oppurtunity. Now, i hear you thinking "hold on to her tighter then, its easy?" well this is what would happen. we're walking along footpath, dd doesnt want to hold hands. i insist, dd tries to pull away but im holding on to her, so she tries a different tactic, lets her legs go and starts twisting on the floor. so im trying to pick her up to put her safetly away from the road, it ends up in a struggle, arms and legs everywhere, she's like an octopus.

it would only take one second for her to drop off the kerb.
or maybe for a little leg to kick out into the road.

so yep, reins were good for us.

MarsLady · 28/06/2007 17:27

lulamae.... one word.... TWINS!

Stigaloid · 28/06/2007 17:28

When i was younger i used to call them my 'brains' and wouldn't leave the house without having my brains on!

Better safe than sorry IMO and i think the OP is quite naive and mildly offensive.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 28/06/2007 17:28

i use reigns, well a toddler daysack for dd3. means she3 can walk beside me holding my hand but if she dashes for it i have the strap loops round my hand and can stop her.

lucyellensmum · 28/06/2007 17:31

lulamae, you must be one of these perfect alpha mummies we are hearing so much about. I actually take offence at being called lazy for having reins on my DD for reasons of safety. I actually think that reins give toddlers more freedom as they dont have to be dragged along the town holding mums hand but rather can stop and look in windows etc. Dont mind me but i have just had to deal with a rude and patronising woman at work so im venting my spleen here!!

2shoesishappy · 28/06/2007 17:32

spooky said what I wanted to say

PersonalClown · 28/06/2007 17:34

I'm with Spooky too. Ds has an obsession with cars, buses etc. You try catching a very tall 5 year old that can run like the wind when it suits him.

nightowl · 28/06/2007 17:34

its so easy for them to slip away. an example. a couple of weeks ago i was walking to the shop with dd (no reins, she's three now, dont tend to use them anymore). theres...now how do i explain this? just as you turn out of our street onto the main road theres a part where the kerb disappears (there used to be a little road there IYSWIM) dd momentarily got confused as to where the footpath was and stepped into the road despite holding my hand, car swerved round her. so close and totally unexpected, i dont think ive ever moved so fast scooping her up!

nothing to do with reins but an example of how quick it can happen.

suedonim · 28/06/2007 17:35

Presumably, Lulamae, you don't put your child in a cot to sleep, either. I'm sure you agree that babies in cots look like caged animals in a zoo.

Having had a terrible fright when ds1 ran into the road and caused a woman to perform an emergency stop, I'm all in favour of reins, if people wish to use them. I've never forgotten that day, even though ds is now in his 30's and I bet that poor woman has never forgotten it either.

Eight · 28/06/2007 17:35

I thought the OP had been written by Lulumama when I first read it.
I was therefore shocked at "Imho they are for lazy parents who could'nt be arsed chasing after naturally exuberant kids.....".
Was relived to find I had misread.
Lulumama would not be so judgemental.

themaskedposter · 28/06/2007 17:36

well put Spooky!

sweetkitty · 28/06/2007 17:39

I use a wrist strap for nearly 3yo DD1 and I don't give rat's a* what anyone else thinks about it, she is a runner and it keeps her safe.

If she was an only child then yes I probably could get away with not using them but I can't whilst pushing a buggy as well.

OK they don't look nice but toddlers don't walk nicely beside you all the time and stop at the kerb and what do you do when you are in a shop hands full and she runs off?

SoupDragon · 28/06/2007 17:43

Ah, how nice it is when you only have one just-started-to-walk child... you know everything then and feel able to judge others.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 28/06/2007 17:47

I put my DS on one of those leash thingies after progressing from the reins. Saved his life twice in the one week so wouldn't be without it. Wait til you have more than one kid and then try chasing after two wilful toddlers hellbent on going in opposite directions.

Pixiefish · 28/06/2007 17:49

I have one of those little bags with a strap for dd although I have had reins and a wrist strap and still use wrist strap occasionally. Better that than a dead child imo. The bag is handy in that you can give a little independence but still have something to grab if necessary

kittywits · 28/06/2007 17:49

Hulababy, I'd always assumed that dogs were put on leads so not to pee off the general public

Peachy, why do you assume that I would tell my kids about my feeling on reins? I've got more interesting things to discuss with them.

slayerette, it doesn't matter to me as such, I just don't like the look of them. I keep my toddlers in pushchairs on busy stretches of road and let them run free in safe places.

lulumama · 28/06/2007 17:50

yyyyearrrrrrghhh !! am definitely not the OP!!

Hulababy · 28/06/2007 17:50

Really? I always assumed it was to keep them safe and close by, to protect them and others.

SachaF · 28/06/2007 17:53

I have a 6 month old and I can definately see me using them sometime in the future! Each to their own? It's not that I'm lazy, heck, I ran a 5mile -country race last night, but they seem very sensible in certain situations to me

nightowl · 28/06/2007 17:56

why keep a toddler in a pushchair if you dont have to?

purely because you dont like the look of reins?

dd loved to walk, hated being confined to her pushchair so for safety i bought the reins. happier dd, happier mum.

nzshar · 28/06/2007 18:11

I have to say that personally I have never used reins for ds(3) though I did buy some wrist straps(never used) but I only have one child and he has never been an absconder. I think that if you choose not to use them that it dosent mean that you are being negligent just as much as using them dosent make you lazy. I think you need to assess your own child and only you know what you are comfortable with as a parent. A little more tolerance would go a long way both here and IRL (sorry just feeling that people are far too judgemental these days...walk a mile in someone elses shoes and all that)

Pixiefish · 28/06/2007 18:16

DD was a terrible absconder and without some sort of restraint she would run off any chance she got. She also hated the pram and would climb out of her restraints in that any chance she got. i also felt it was healthier for her to walk as she was getting excercise rather than sitting in a puschair

Rosa · 28/06/2007 18:16

Reins were a godsend when travelling on own with toddler in busy airports when buggy in plane and couldn't carry dd and handluggage.
Have taught her how to bark , sit, lie down and beg anything else I should be doing as I think I will be using them again as and when needed. Barbara Woodhouse book anybody please ???

mytwopenceworth · 28/06/2007 18:16

Yes reins are sometimes essential for a lazy parent on her own trying to take 2 autistic children to a vital appointment and hold onto both when they want to go in different directions or throw themselves on the floor in the middle of the road and scream and neither of them had a clue about danger, or were able to understand instructions.

I couldn't be arsed to do it any other way.

bran · 28/06/2007 18:17

DS has cuddly reins and he always loved wearing them (he doesn't need them now he's older), he used to ask for them to be put on. Now that he doesn't wear them anymore he treats it like any other soft toy (it's a sort of monkey backpack and the tail is the rein), and yesterday he took it to nursery with him for something to cuddle on the journey. So I don't feel that he's been hard done by at all. In fact I pity the OP and her child. [smug emoticon]