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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Accused of something I didn't do

85 replies

mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:19

DH, who is normally fair and reasonable is being a total dick about this. AIBU that I shouldn't be accused of something with no evidence?

I got home after taking DS out to DH saying "go and look at what you have done to the TV". I went in the lounge to find the TV broken- dead pixel line down one side and a crack. Bugger.

Went to DH to ask how it had happened. DH says I did it. That I must have done it removing the Christmas decorations. I say, no, I'd remember that, plus I used the TV after doing that and it was fine. DH says it wasn't him so must have been me. I say it could easily have been DS (3) or one of the cats. DH says no, much more likely I hit the TV with the Christmas lights.

He will not let it drop and I am fucked off with him for the accusation and the refusal to believe me. I'm now not talking to him (not sulking just fucked off) and think he should apologize.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thesmallthings · 06/01/2019 16:20

I would say it's more likely ds3 having thrown something.

SoupDragon · 06/01/2019 16:22

How heavy are your Christmas lights that he thinks they could break a tv?

Hezz · 06/01/2019 16:26

He's obviously done it himself the CF.

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:26

Thesmallthings exactly! Much more likely than an adult with no reason to lie! DH is saying he's never seen DS hit the TV. Which shows he has a very selective or short memory.

SoupDragon no idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:27

Hezz that has crossed my mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:28

I'm thinking that if he tries to convince me it's be, he can buy a fancy new TV and blame me for how much it's costing us. When in reality, we can just replace it with the one in his office.

OP posts:
iklboo · 06/01/2019 16:29

Smack him round the head with the Christmas lights. If he doesn't break he knows it wasn't you (disclaimer - I'm joking, I'm not advocating violence).

It's definitely either him or your DS that's done it.

FuckingYuleLog · 06/01/2019 16:30

Give it back. Tell him the way he’s behaving makes it clear that it was definitely him and just keep asking how he did it until he accepts it might have been someone else (or realises he’s rumbled).

ChrisjenAvasarala · 06/01/2019 16:30

And when you said "I watched the TV after taking the decorations down. It wasn't broken.". What did he say?

NewerMoreBoringNameFor2019 · 06/01/2019 16:31

Straight away I thought he’d done it.

If there’s no conclusive proof who did it, he’s a bellend for insisting on blaming you. What’s to stop you flipping it round and blaming him? You both have exactly the same amount of proof, ie none.

Sexnotgender · 06/01/2019 16:33

He’s being a total dick, tell him to sod off.

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:39

ChrisjenAvasarala nothing. He just ignored that.

I mean seriously, he's just being a knob isn't he! Unless he did it there's no way of knowing who did it. His insistence it was me makes me suspicious it was him!

Just don't know how to move forward.

OP posts:
Fraying · 06/01/2019 16:41

If you used the TV afterwards, then you can't have broken it. I'd be taking the view that I wasn't replacing the TV until you both work out what happened. No point putting another one in place if the same thing can happen again Wink

Jamiefraserskilt · 06/01/2019 16:41

Fuck me your lights must be flipping huge and made of tough stuff to crack a tv screen.
Sounds like wee one with a good throwing arm.
I am assuming you are both adults and both take responsibility when you break things so why start accuse and deny now?
Tell him to grow up.
Was he supposed to be watching ds3 when you were out???.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/01/2019 16:42

Start with the two little words ‘fuck off’.

Then point out the sheer audacity that he is effectively calling you a liar, and even if you had it would have been an accident- tell him to get his tv out the office and he can carry it from there himself as you’re obviously such a liability.

How bloody annoying!

Crunchymum · 06/01/2019 16:44

My first thought (given his insistence it was you) is that it was him.

What does he want to do about it? Is he expecting you to replace it as you broke it???? Shock

ChrisjenAvasarala · 06/01/2019 16:46

It's the "go and see what you've done" comment that's getting me. That's proper "you're a naughty child and I'm in charge here" attitude.

He is being a knob. I'd go tell him that, reiterate that you did not break it. Thsy you have a small child who does throw stuff sometimes and these things happen, but if he can't accept an accident for what it is then you'll not be speaking to him until he grows the hell up.

SecretNutellaFix · 06/01/2019 16:46

I bet he threw the remote control at it or something.

Nishky · 06/01/2019 16:46

Surely there aren’t adults in existence who when having broken something would then try and blame someone else?

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/01/2019 16:53

There are. My ex threw a remote control at me once and it hit the tv and broke it. Refused to replace it as ‘in all fairness I was aiming for your head’.

Ex for a reason Wink

DarlingNikita · 06/01/2019 16:57

And when you said "I watched the TV after taking the decorations down. It wasn't broken.". What did he say?
Yeah, I want to know this too.
Why's he being such a tit?

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 06/01/2019 17:04

I would be inclined to say

‘Your refusal to listen to me, or to accept my reassurances that I have nothing to do with the tv breaking. Is making me think that you know fine well that I didn’t break our television because you broke it. If that is the case then you are gaslighting me and if you are, you should know that is a form of abuse. I refuse to tolerate it anymore! I am an adult and have absolutely no reason to lie to you!

If you continue to gaslight me, then you may as well leave this marriage right now. Relationships need to be based on trust and your behaviour either suggests you have no trust for me, or that you are trying to gaslight me, into thinking I have done something that I know I have not! In which case I can no longer trust you! So consider what you are saying VERY carefully!

reallybadidea · 06/01/2019 17:08

I couldn't stay with someone who broke something and then tried to gaslight me about it. The fact that you think it's even a possibility suggests that your relationship is in a very bad way.

Thesmallthings · 06/01/2019 17:08

So he trust the idea the 3 year old wouldn't do it because he's never seen him do it before.

Over you an adult, his wife saying you didn't do it?
Has he seen you hit the telly before? I would asume no. So why is he giving that reason to his 3 year old but not you?

He did it and feels guilty for blaming his son so is blaming you.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 06/01/2019 17:09

Is there a possibility that he knocked the TV causing a crack without noticing and then turned it on and assumed that you had cracked it???

But yeah the naughty child "go and look at what you have done to the TV" line would piss me off no end.

And does smack of covering up theatrics.