Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Accused of something I didn't do

85 replies

mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 16:19

DH, who is normally fair and reasonable is being a total dick about this. AIBU that I shouldn't be accused of something with no evidence?

I got home after taking DS out to DH saying "go and look at what you have done to the TV". I went in the lounge to find the TV broken- dead pixel line down one side and a crack. Bugger.

Went to DH to ask how it had happened. DH says I did it. That I must have done it removing the Christmas decorations. I say, no, I'd remember that, plus I used the TV after doing that and it was fine. DH says it wasn't him so must have been me. I say it could easily have been DS (3) or one of the cats. DH says no, much more likely I hit the TV with the Christmas lights.

He will not let it drop and I am fucked off with him for the accusation and the refusal to believe me. I'm now not talking to him (not sulking just fucked off) and think he should apologize.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AlrightBabby · 06/01/2019 17:10

ClaireElizabeth that's quite some speech! I find a swift 'nob off!' far more effective Wink

empa · 06/01/2019 17:11

Well if he doesn't think it was DS and you know it wasn't you, then that leaves him.

KurriKurri · 06/01/2019 17:11

Have you asked DS if he threw anything at/dropped something on the TV? I would ask him in a non accusatory way - he'll likely reply 'daddy did it' Grin

RandomMess · 06/01/2019 17:12

Turn it around on him, you know it was fine when you last watched it so it seems like a guilty conscience that he insistent on blaming you...

SymphonyofShadows · 06/01/2019 17:13

Surely “who the fucking hell do you think you are talking to?” should suffice. The knob!

Honeyroar · 06/01/2019 17:13

"Which bit of I've watched the tv since I took the lights down are you not understanding??" Repeat every time he starts blaming you, and add in a few "I'm getting a bit upset at these accusations now!"

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/01/2019 17:13

What a dick. I agree he probably did it.

brizzledrizzle · 06/01/2019 17:15

Does he always treat you like this?

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 17:17

There's a number of things that could have happened to the TV. He refuses to accept any other explanation. The only explanation I refuse to accept is that I did it.

He is gaslighting me. Which is not something he has done before.

He's even taken DS down to the TV to ask him if he did it.

The only reason I can think of for his behaviour (which is unusual for him) I'd that we're due DC2 any time and when I had DS he had awful nightmares about us dying but didn't tell me at the time. I'm wondering if the same thing is going on.

I've told him I'm not talking about it any more and I am not agreeing to the purchase of a new TV.

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 06/01/2019 17:18

It happened while you were out and he was home... The very fact that he won't accept it could have been anyone else but you, almost definitely means it was him. He won't entertain it being one of the kids - because he knows it wasn't one of the kids.

Santaisfastasleepatlast · 06/01/2019 17:19

I am with the smack him round the head with the lights poster.
Just say that you are happy not to have a TV and since it wasn't you who broke it you won't be replacing it for his eyes.

BrendasUmbrella · 06/01/2019 17:20

And you're due to give birth any day? He's a dick. Fancy stressing you out about anything at this time.

HollowTalk · 06/01/2019 17:20

If you're due DC2 at any time then he should've been taking down the bloody decorations anyway!

AWishForWingsThatWork · 06/01/2019 17:22

I would be furious. Your simple sentence "It wasn't me." should be accepted at face value. He's being a gaslighting dick, especially with him dragging down a 3 year old to try to blame you.

Wow.

Butchyrestingface · 06/01/2019 17:33

There's a three year old in your house and yet your husband insists that YOU did it??? Shock

@Hezz has probably got the measure of it.

Tell him that a quick poll of MN has established that HE probably did it.

ETanny · 06/01/2019 17:33

His insistence that it was you makes me wonder if it was possibly him and he's trying to skirt the blame.
However if that is the case then serious words need to be had.

My exH used to gaslight me and it's an awful situation to be in as you sometimes start to doubt your own sanity.

Florries · 06/01/2019 17:35

Ugh what a man child.

Bluntness100 · 06/01/2019 17:38

Well this is very odd. It's both your tv, I can't imagine why either of you would not admit to breaking it, so it seems something or someone else did, but what does it matter, it was an accident.

Either claim on your insurance or buy a new one, but forcing him to lose his out his office if he watches it isn't very nice either.

ohfourfoxache · 06/01/2019 17:39

What a nasty turd Shock

ChesterGreySideboard · 06/01/2019 17:44

So you are due to have a baby any minute yet you are the one taking the decorations down and taking DS out. What is he doing during this time?

youarenotkiddingme · 06/01/2019 17:46

He says it's not ds because he's never seen him hit the tv.

I'd ask him if he's ever seen you hit it?!

I'd simply be telling him you are due DC2 in a few days and either he accepts you cannot have broken something when you weren't in the house or he needs to accept he doesn't have the mental capacity to raise children and get out!

AlexDrake1981 · 06/01/2019 17:46

Tbf Mortified, I'd have asked him who the fuck he was talking to when he ordered me to 'look at what I'd done!' You deserve a medal for not lamping him one right there!

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 17:46

forcing him to lose his out his office if he watches it isn't very nice either.

I'm not. We have a TV in our bedroom, 1 in the bathroom and 2 in his office (one is used as a monitor and not a "smart" TV, but a Chromecast and fire stick would fix that).

We don't need one in the lounge plus the broken one is still useable, just had a small crack and line down it. DS is the only one who really watches TV down there so I don't see the need to replace it.

OP posts:
Original poster
mortifiedmama · 06/01/2019 17:48

What is he doing during this time? Plasterboarding the ceiling. I definitely got the easier deal!

OP posts:
ResistanceIsNecessary · 06/01/2019 17:49

I have told you quite clearly that I didn't break the TV. By refusing to accept what I am saying, you're implying that I am lying.

I'm upset and disappointed that you're behaving like this. How would you feel if I accused you of doing something that you hadn't, and point blank refused to accept that you didn't?