Accused of something I didn't do

[mortifiedmama]

DH, who is normally fair and reasonable is being a total dick about this. AIBU that I shouldn't be accused of something with no evidence?

I got home after taking DS out to DH saying "go and look at what you have done to the TV". I went in the lounge to find the TV broken- dead pixel line down one side and a crack. Bugger.

Went to DH to ask how it had happened. DH says I did it. That I must have done it removing the Christmas decorations. I say, no, I'd remember that, plus I used the TV after doing that and it was fine. DH says it wasn't him so must have been me. I say it could easily have been DS (3) or one of the cats. DH says no, much more likely I hit the TV with the Christmas lights.

He will not let it drop and I am fucked off with him for the accusation and the refusal to believe me. I'm now not talking to him (not sulking just fucked off) and think he should apologize.

AIBU?

Yeah, this is a very rare occasion. If he did it frequently I wouldn't put up with it!

Last time he did something like this was around 8 years ago!

@treehugger13 obviously you’re not the only one it’s happening to I don’t see why anyone would choose to stay in such a horrible situation. You don’t sound like someone that has no other way out so why put up with your husbands horrible behaviour? I can’t help but feel that women who choose to stay with cunty men (even though they have the means to leave) do such a disservice to women as a whole. If you were trapped due to financial reasons then it’d be understandable but that’s not the vibe I’m getting.

Firstly he’s being a total nob, secondly due DC2 anytime, he should be taking the lights down
It’s just a TV I totally understand the cost implications but you have a second so he really shouldn’t be accusing you of something you’ve obviously not done. To be so insistent on it too, just screams to me that he’s in a bit of a bad place, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with him being nervous due to his dreams. Ask him if everything is ok?

Failing that accuse him of having an affair and trying to draw attention to something else!! that way the TV issue seems small and he will soon wind his neck in making false accusations, not nice... is it?

Isn't it a shame that we don't the device in our head (a kind of chip) that they have in the Black Mirror episode (a history of you) or something like that? So we could rewind the memories and what happened (or didn't happen) and prove what happened?

Someone needs to invent this, because so many men do this. (Try and blame others - usually the wife - for stuff.)

My mother used to do it too! When I lived at home, she would accuse me of moving things and breaking things, and I know it wasn't me!

Just make a home insurance claim it's an accident so provided you have accidental damage and a small excess worth claiming. That point aside he sounds like a bit of a dick.

@treehugger13 obviously you’re not the only one it’s happening to I just don’t see why anyone would choose to stay in such a horrible situation.

Yeah I agree he should be taking the lights down (especially if you have a big/tall tree,) because it does involve lots of stretching and reaching.

No way would any set of Christmas tree lights smash a telly! He did it. I would say your kiddie did it, but his trying to blame you, suggests he did it.

I wasn't bothered about taking the decorations down, we're renovating the house so I've been sanding, plumbing, tiling, wallpapering, painting, glossing etc so taking decorations down was sedentary in comparison!

My ex did this to me about (of all things) a toilet brush. It became a chance for him to shout at me, accuse me of being disgusting, tell me I am a liar and even to involve the children in the argument by asking them if they caused the problem (the most likely thing...) and then pointing out that children don't lie, so it must be me.

I was blindsided and confused. I thought maybe I had done something and didn't remember. I was on my knees dressing the children for school early in the morning and he was berating me - while I tried to defend myself.

It took me quite a while to realise it was complete projection. The toilet brush had become an excuse for him to release his pent up anger and he just let loose.

If your husband thinks you are lying to him, then it should make him question why you would do that. We only like to protect ourselves in these situations.

I would look very carefully for other gaslighting, projection and controlling behaviour.

by the way - with all that renovation taking place, the chance of the TV getting knocked in some way (as plasterboard is taken through the house, power tools with heavy plugs are carried, movement in the house causing things to fall...) is very high. This may have happened with no fault from anyone.