More WIBU - Friend yelled at another friend's child

[ImAskingForAFriend]

So, I'll try and make this quick because I'm aware this is not my circus and all that so should just let it go and forget about it B...U....T....

There was a party which was attended by Veronica and Betty, who are my mutual friends but could, at best, by described as acquaintances. From what I understand, there was a soft play style area for kids. Veronica saw Betty's six year old daughter repeatedly shove her two year old son away from one of the toys. She yelled at the daughter and told her off for bullying her son. Betty's daughter ran off to her mum and apparently was so inconsolable the family had to leave shortly after. Betty's daughter also said Veronica's son was trying to play with the toy but didn't understand how it worked so she was trying to help him by showing him.

Betty's pretty mad. She wants Veronica to apologise. Knowing Betty's daughter, she's one of those kids who likes to be helpful but also isn't exactly graceful so I've no doubt she was trying to be helpful but perhaps wasn't being as gentle as she should have been. I also don't agree with yelling at children, ESPECIALLY other people's children, unless there's immediate danger (but get that YMMV on that one) so kind of feel the girl should have been sternly told 'Hey. He's like half your size. Be careful!' but shouldn't have been yelled at or called a bully.

But I'm also a Mama Bear to a kiddo younger than Veronica's and, if I saw kiddo in a similar situation, I'd be pretty mad too so I can see where she's coming from and why she'd want to shout in that particular situation.

WIBU?

Guys, relax! I'm not actually looking to broker a truce between these two and I'm certainly not going to send them any messages. I'm just stuck in between two bickering friends in a situation where, IMHO, they're both being a bit unreasonable and need a place to virtually scream! Having been yelling 'I know, right?!?' at many people's responses and it's been wonderfully cathartic!

I'm not actually looking to broker a truce between these two and I'm certainly not going to send them any messages.

OK. That’s not what came across from your posts though...

You don’t have to be stuck in between them.

I was at a book party years ago when a toddler probably 18-24 months was reapeatedly hitting my similar aged toddler with a blow up hammer. My toddler was getting upset and mum was in the other room so I calmly held the hammer and said "No, it's not nice to hit". Mum sweeps in and picks up toddler and says to her "Nobody else gets to tell you off darling do they?" I was totally .

This was before we had Snowflakes but the term certainly applied. Not sure what I was supposed to do. Realised afterwards that mum must have been aware what her child was doing to have swept in and "rescued" her!

Whether it is unreasonable or not depends entirely on the situation and whether the "telling off" is age/siituation appropriate.

@imaskingforafriend - ignore them then. It isn’t your problem. Or tell them you don’t want to get involved

I still don't know what a 'mama bear' is. Is it anything to do with the 'bears' on the gay scene? 🤔

Mama bear refers to base instinctual reactions to your kids being hurt. Doesn't mean that person then abdicates responsibility for their actions or goes all crazy as pp suggested. It's just a name for that gut feeling of needing to protect. And before anyone gets all rarked up (going to use my own cultural lingo here just to annoy the ridiculous sheilas with their knickers in a twist), we're all animals and yes we do have primal reactions to things. Thankfully most are able to reign it in to be able to respond appropriately, but it's not stupid or patronising to refer to it actually being there. Frankly I find the 'D' in front of H, S, D, M, F etc to be a bit too cutesy but whatever, it's what people do so who am I to comment?

OP I'd stay out of it. Tell them to stop texting you if it gets too much, it's not your fight and they should be dealing with each other (or with a non-mutual friend if they want a totally sympathetic head-nodding vent).

Shouting is for actual emergencies or idiots unable to form a rational sentence. Your description makes her sound like an idiot if she was actually shouting. But then some people do think shrieking is just part of life.
I'd stay well out of it and avoid avoid avoid. They sound like they all love a drama

I yelled at a stranger's kid once for deliberately whacking my son in the FACE with an umbrella (saw it very clearly myself) - made her cry & then had a row with her 'oh but she didn't mean it' mother & didn't regret it for a single second!!

YABU for using the words “mama bear” and “kiddo” - @Chillyegg
Are you really a Chiilyegg?

@alansleftfoot are you really a left foot belonging to alan?

Are you really, @Catsize?

Are you really, @KittensAndCake?

Are YOU really, @Pachyderm1

No different to op using a nickname to describe herself on here when you all use nicknames too! Ironic that you should even mention it to be honest.

Team Betty

Mama bear refers to base instinctual reactions to your kids being hurt.

So a mother then?

@boysandbuses - exactly , there’s absolutely no reason to infantilise it by adding bear at the end 🤣. Plus I stand by my point that adding bear suggests the instinct can’t be tempered. It can, coz we’re human