Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if NCT = social life during maternity leave?

111 replies

RoboticSealpup · 05/01/2019 11:24

I've looked at the website but it's not really clear what you get from membership. Antenatal classes? Organised meet-ups? Playgroups? When I had DD I was so bored on maternity leave, as l hadn't "done NCT" (nobody told me about it!) and people kept talking about "their NCT group" and all their activities. I did a few other antenatal classes but there was no social component to them at all and I was quite lonely and bored during maternity leave despite trying to connect with other mums in various ways. I'm pregnant now and due in summer. We live in a new area so I don't really know anyone.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 05/01/2019 16:52

My NCT group was an absolute life saver for me.

LaurieMarlow · 05/01/2019 16:56

I should have said, the classes themselves weren't particularly helpful, except for recognising the signs of PND, which I thought was well covered.

Seniorschoolmum · 05/01/2019 17:00

Another thought op, our NCT had been grouped together because we were all first time mums over 35. That helped too.

whittingtonmum · 05/01/2019 17:01

I was told by DH's friends that we must do the NCT course when I was pregnant so we did. Course was ok, group was ok and we met up a few times but it felt quite artificial. Also because we mainly met as a group the dynamics were ok but got a bit tricky at the end. With hindsight I should have spend less time with the group trying to become friends. I met most mum friends at all kind of local groups (breastfeeding support, play groups, baby massage, pushy mothers etc). Having said that I became a NCT member for a while and met one friend I am still friends with today as she was the local NCT contact for my area. Generally I found it easier making friends with individual mums than being in this random NCT group but others made friends for life with their group....

Stephisaur · 05/01/2019 17:02

I haven’t paid for membership (you get discounts and stuff from what I can gather) but I did do NCT yoga.

I met a couple of women who were expecting their babies around the same time as me, so that was nice. I plan to meet up with them on maternity leave, and I’ll be attending the follow up Mother & Baby Yoga class which will allow even more socialisation.

iano · 05/01/2019 17:20

The classes weren't very helpful (the BF one was really poor in our case). The nhs one at the hospital was more useful.
Having said that it was a good way to meet other mums. I'm not sure I'd do it again with hindsight...

Si1ver · 05/01/2019 17:36

It's speed dating for nice middle class parents. An opportunity to meet some people going through the same thing as you at the same time.

My husband was the one who wanted to go to the classes, not me. But actually they've been pretty useful in meeting potential friends. They're all coming over for coffee next week to kill time on mat leave before the babies get here.

ItsQuietTime · 05/01/2019 17:38

@RoboticSealpup

Try the app Mush, to meet expecting and new Mums in your area.

lunicorn · 05/01/2019 17:46

I, like a fool, did NCT instead of the free hospital classes because I thought I'd meet my sort of friends. The group was in Bolton. They were all a bit mad. Noone made friends.
Also they push breast feeding without telling you it might hurt. I therefore had no preparation for the agony to come and went onto formula after 2 weeks. My sister in Surrey does still know her NCT mums tho
The moral for me was to not have been a snob, gone to the free hospital ones and met my baby group people earlier.

BikeRunSki · 05/01/2019 17:50

It’s an opportunity t meet people st the same stage of life as you. For the first few months of having a baby - especially your first - it doesn’t matter if you are 21 or 41, what your job is or where you live, the baby is your primary concern and interest. This was very much the case with my group. We had about a 13 year spread in the ages of parents. Fabulous support for the first 9 months or so. We were be far the least well off couple of the group, particularly when I had 12 months off work, then went back p/t. Once people started going back to work, regaining other interests etc that initial bond waned, but to start with it was invaluable, because I knew them before dc1 was born - only by a few weeks, but there were there - I didn’t have to go and seek them out when I could barely get dressed! I already had someone to cry at that my baby wouldn’t feed, or to text at 3am!

I met much longer term, more like minded more similar income, friends for life at Surestart and village hall playgroups. Ten years on I could not imagine not knowing them, but my NCT friends really only exist on FB.

BikeRunSki · 05/01/2019 17:55

Also, I probably had a non-standard experience of NCT teaching. Our course leader had had 2 x cs and prepared us well for this eventuality. When DS would not breastfeed, and I - after much soul searching and many tears - decided to formula feed him, she told me “there are many ways to nurture a child, infant feeding is just one of them”. She became a long term friend via a different route, but those words kept me sane at the most vulnerable time of my life. I really didn’t feel that she was pushing an agenda.

Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 17:58

Join op. Its literally paid network of support when baby is young. Usually do weekly meet ups in someone's home or out somewhere.

Out of maybe 7 people there's 1 I went onto see a few years after, and I don't see her now but it was worth it.

Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 17:59

In my group there was definalty a push towards natural pain free birth. I knew that that and ignored it though

codenameduchess · 05/01/2019 18:06

I didn't do NCT but at a baby class when DC was v small there was a group of 5 mums who had done NCT together and they pretty close - also fucking awful to everyone else, they made me cry more than once - but 3 years on 4 of them are still friends (we're all on local fb group).

I've heard from a lot of other people that they felt the NCT was worth it just to meet people though and in hindsight wish we'd done it and maybe I wouldn't have spent 9 months maternity leave desperately lonely.

MoaningSickness · 05/01/2019 18:44

I didn't do nct with my first pregnancy as I knew I was moving out of the area. Then my move was delayed, and I'm now pregnant with my second in an area where I know no one.

I have considered doing nct to meet people, but I think already having a toddler would make me the odd one in the group, and I wouldn't be able to do the same things... I'd really like something like nct but geared for people who already have children.

Fluffymullet · 05/01/2019 19:02

We had recently moved into the area when I got pregnant, no friends or family nearby. NCT friends were brilliant. I would have felt lonely and lost without them. It's those first few months where you are likely to be stuck feeding and sleep deprived where they were worth their weight on gold. As babies get bigger and you start going to playgroip/preschool you will meet people but I found it more of an effort. Being in a group makes things easier in terms of staying in contact/meeting up etc. I went to lots of things I wouldn't have even known about without them e.g. sling library.

They did have 1 hour long NHS antenatal class which did not lend it self to making friends, it was literally midwives giving facts about birth/feeding with no opportunity to talk and I couldn't get get back from work early enough to join antenatal yoga class. These days the NHS classes no longer exsist and children's centres funding slashed 😓

If you have the money go for it x

RandomUsernameHere · 05/01/2019 19:18

@MoaningSickness I think NCT do refresher courses for people who already have a child/children

JudasPrudy · 05/01/2019 19:22

NCT in a nutshell;

  • breast is best
  • childbirth is a good pain. Just breathe through it. Drugs are bad.
  • friends who you'll realise after a couple of years you have nothing in common with and don't really like all that much.

That'll be £120 please Grin

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 05/01/2019 19:24

I’m sorry @JudasPrudy

Did you mean £300

#london

Bouncebacker · 05/01/2019 19:26

Best money I’ve ever spent: the friends I met were lifesavers - still some of my best friends 7 years later. Great for DH too as otherwise he wouldn’t have had any friends with babies - I did meet other people through playgroups and classes etc but DH was at work all the time - so through NCT we built family friends - we have now moved 300 miles away for work, but we go on holiday with NCT friends, meet up all together a couple of times a year as well as individual meet ups.

They do second timer classes - maybe look at those? Class teacher was pretty average but there are good ones out there.

EssentialHummus · 05/01/2019 19:36

I think some sort of class/structure/place to meet people at the same stage as you is very important, or at least I found it to be once DH was back at work. By 1.5 years on I see one of the NCT mums weekly (we share childcare) and the others very rarely. Partly distance, partly just drifting I suppose.

edwinbear · 05/01/2019 19:47

I found NCT good value for meeting people, the classes not so much. Our group got on well and we met up several times a week for the first 6 months whilst everyone was on maternity leave. Then people started going back to work and meet ups were less frequent, but then we all started to have DC2 around the same time so were off on maternity leave again.

We drifted apart when the DC all started at different schools and our ‘mum’ friends became school mums, but we still bump into each other occasionally and it’s always lovely to catch up. I don’t think my two mat leaves would have been nearly so enjoyable without them.

AnyFarrahFowler · 05/01/2019 19:52

It’s very expensive and you can make friends through other local baby groups for a fraction of the price. We only went to one session of our NCT - it was very pushy about no intervention during birth, no pain relief etc and when I asked about what an epidural entailed, it was brushed aside because it’s not natural, bad for the baby, don’t you want an intervention-free experience blah blah blah.

I made friends through baby massage, baby signing and our local baby music group instead.

nimski · 05/01/2019 19:54

I would highly recommend NCT. I met an amazing group of people who have been a huge support and have forged some lifelong friendships. My eldest is 6 and I saw 4 of them today. Worth every penny!

icclemunchy · 05/01/2019 19:57

We didn't gel with our nct class. We were the poorest couple by a good 60k a year and didn't really have anything in common except having a baby at the same sort of time. The antenatal classes were no good for me either. I knew I was likely to end up with a section due to pre existing health issues but every time I asked a question I was told I should ask my Dr 🤷‍♀️

La leche is where I found my people, wish I had gone along whilst pregnant!