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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take no blame for this?

111 replies

HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 15:33

First world problem but DH is sulking like a toddler and expecting an apology.

Currently pregnant. Had our anatomy scan on Tuesday, everything was fine. I wanted to find out the sex of the baby and the sonographer agreed to look, so DH stepped out of the room whilst I was told.
We did this for our last baby and I was able to keep it to myself, so DH didn’t find out until he was born.

Today DH decided to use my eBay account for no particular reason, just a browse, and saw that I’d purchased a little white broderie anglaise dress and cardigan for the baby when she arrives.

Which obviously to him means I have spoiled the surprise.

Aibu to tell him to grow up? If he had have told me he wanted to use my account I could have warned him I’d made baby related purchases that would give away the sex. Instead he’s upstairs in a huff, blaming me for ruining his birthday (tomorrow) and that he doesn’t know how he can sit across from me at dinner knowing I’ve ‘betrayed his trust’

OP posts:
Meyouandbabytoo · 04/01/2019 15:35

I'm with you on this one. He chose to use your account when you know the sex of the baby. He had no way of guaranteeing that you hadn't bought/ searched for something gender specific. He should've mentioned it or just not looked.

TooTrueToBeGood · 04/01/2019 15:36

Can you get an anatomy scan done on him? I might be wrong but it sounds suspiciously like he might be a dick.

Floralhousecoat · 04/01/2019 15:37

You've ruined his birthday.
You've betrayed his trust.
He can't sit across the table from you at dinner.

Wow. He's a monumental twqt.
He needs to grow up and apologise for his behaviour.

Floralhousecoat · 04/01/2019 15:37

*twat

jarhead123 · 04/01/2019 15:37

YANBU. He is bit ridiculous!

Welshgal1 · 04/01/2019 15:37

LTB!

cowfacemonkey · 04/01/2019 15:38

Don’t make him any dinner then he won’t need worry about how to sit opposite you.

CripsSandwiches · 04/01/2019 15:39

He's obviously disappointed to have found out and is taking it all out on you.

This was clearly just an accident, disappointing sure but he needs to get over it. He's ruining his own birthday.

LagunaBubbles · 04/01/2019 15:40

Betrayed trust? What a crock of shit and complete over reaction.

Karigan195 · 04/01/2019 15:41

But HE used YOUR account. With you on this one. He should have asked and then you could have warned him

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 04/01/2019 15:42

Eerr what he chise to use your ebay account, yours.

What was ge expecting you not to buy anything gender specfic?

Even if he did he chose to use an account without telling you. By not telling you he was using your account surely hes taking on the responsablity for prehaos seeing things he doesnt know about.

Nope his fault, you've not betrayed his trust you didnt go haha we're having a girl he snooped

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/01/2019 15:44

Wtf. What's wrong with him? How on earth is this your fault?

Consolidateyourloins · 04/01/2019 15:44

Don’t make him any dinner then he won’t need worry about how to sit opposite you.

Maybe he's cooking? Grin

OP, it seems like you will have 3 children. Tell him to grow up!

Sexnotgender · 04/01/2019 15:44

Any blame is squarely at his feet.

He’s a knob, you have not betrayed anything!

Iloveacurry · 04/01/2019 15:46

Tell him to grow up!

And regarding dinner, don’t cook him anything.

Original poster
HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 15:48

Thank you!

I suspect he was snooping to see if there was anything I’d bought him for his birthday which was why he didn’t ask.

I wouldn’t have purposely told him or left clues (what he just accused me of Hmm)

It was really hard to stop myself slipping up last time but he had no idea until ds was born! Proof enough that I respected his choice.

This has just really wound me up.

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 04/01/2019 15:54

DH decided to use my eBay account for no particular reason, just a browse
His own fault then.

Santaisfastasleepatlast · 04/01/2019 15:56

Nosey bastard =his own fault.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 04/01/2019 15:59

Is he always this dramatic?

thebaronetofcockburn · 04/01/2019 16:00

Wouldn't make him dinner and would cancel his birthday. Can't abide sulkers.

itswinetime · 04/01/2019 16:00

TooTrueToBeGood 😂😂😂😂😂

He didn't just use your account he purposely snooped through it! You can browse eBay without looking through past purchases! He snooped and karma was swift! Leave him sulking and go do something nice!

LongWalkShortPlank · 04/01/2019 16:03

I agree, he went snooping and found more than he bargained for. Personally I think he owes you an apology for the way he spoke to you.

FuckingYuleLog · 04/01/2019 16:03

Tbh me and dh do use each others accounts on eBay and stuff so I am always careful with things like making sure I don’t give away presents and deleting/moving emails that say gifts for dh are ready for collection/out for delivery. Not quite the same as a baby but I think if dh hadn’t have wanted to know the sex of ours I’d have been careful not to leave any clues.
BUT your dh is being extremely unreasonable by being such a childish bellend about it and saying his birthday has been spoilt etc. A bit disappointed that they found out I could understand but blaming you and having a tantrum is ridiculous.

iklboo · 04/01/2019 16:06

Buy him an orrery for his birthday so he can see the solar system doesn't revolve around him.

To take no blame for this?
Consolidateyourloins · 04/01/2019 16:07

@FuckingYuleLog

How was OP supposed to know he would use her account? She says he uses it for no reason. With you and your DP it's different because by you use eachothers.