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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take no blame for this?

111 replies

HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 15:33

First world problem but DH is sulking like a toddler and expecting an apology.

Currently pregnant. Had our anatomy scan on Tuesday, everything was fine. I wanted to find out the sex of the baby and the sonographer agreed to look, so DH stepped out of the room whilst I was told.
We did this for our last baby and I was able to keep it to myself, so DH didn’t find out until he was born.

Today DH decided to use my eBay account for no particular reason, just a browse, and saw that I’d purchased a little white broderie anglaise dress and cardigan for the baby when she arrives.

Which obviously to him means I have spoiled the surprise.

Aibu to tell him to grow up? If he had have told me he wanted to use my account I could have warned him I’d made baby related purchases that would give away the sex. Instead he’s upstairs in a huff, blaming me for ruining his birthday (tomorrow) and that he doesn’t know how he can sit across from me at dinner knowing I’ve ‘betrayed his trust’

OP posts:
BreconBeBuggered · 04/01/2019 16:45

Honestly, I see a lot of DH behaviour on MN that I'd never put up with, and I don't usually comment because I know my own DH is as unsaintly as I am, and some of the stuff he says and does mightn't be acceptable to someone else. Horses, courses, etc. However. Any man who goes into a major sulk about spoiling this kind of surprise, rather than being fucking delighted at what it is, well, I wouldn't want to be looking at his lousy slapped-arse face across the table either, the mean-spirited self-centred nosey git. He's like a bloody kid poking through his mum's wardrobe and complaining that he's found his Christmas present.

KurriKurri · 04/01/2019 16:45

I'd remind him that the correct response from a grown up is 'wonderful we are having a little girl - I'm so excited'. Twerp.

HazelBite · 04/01/2019 16:46

What is the sex of your other DC?
is he perhaps upset that the "new baby" is not of the preffered sex for him?
He really needs some real problems!

MortyVicar · 04/01/2019 16:46

Why did he have to go on your account? Doesn't he have one of his own? And if it was 'just' for a browse, why did he need to go on any account?

Turn it back on him.

MumW · 04/01/2019 16:46

Aibu to tell him to grow up? If he had have told me he wanted to use my account I could have warned him I’d made baby related purchases that would give away the sex. Instead he’s upstairs in a huff, blaming me for ruining his birthday (tomorrow) and that he doesn’t know how he can sit across from me at dinner knowing I’ve ‘betrayed his trust’

What a childish reaction. I get that he's disappointed but it isn't as if you deliberatley told him. It's probably just as well he doesn't want to sit across the table from you as I imagine that you don't want to look at him either.

Buy him a rattle for his birthday to replace the one he's just thrown out his pram.

SoupOnMyTableNowSir · 04/01/2019 16:48

What is the sex of your other DC?
is he perhaps upset that the "new baby" is not of the preferred sex for him?

I thought this too. His over-reaction seems to be about it being a girl.

InspectorIkmen · 04/01/2019 16:48

Brilliant post Brecon

Bumbledop · 04/01/2019 16:49

It’s a shame he found out, but nobody is to blame here. It’s really not your fault. I expect he’s just disappointed and he will realise soon that he’s being unreasonable.

Juells · 04/01/2019 16:53

Jeeze Louise, reading about all these twattish husbands on MN would put you off men for life. Anyone contemplating marriage should be forced to join MN and read all the threads like this so they have six months to watch for signs of twattery before signing on the dotted line Grin

Juells · 04/01/2019 16:54

He's like a bloody kid poking through his mum's wardrobe and complaining that he's found his Christmas present.

^^ this. He was snooping.

cuppycakey · 04/01/2019 16:55

He sounds dreadful.

Do you think he would have reacted as badly if he had discovered you are having a boy?

StillMe1 · 04/01/2019 17:02

To me it reads like he went out of his way to create this situation.
Does he not have his own Ebay account or could he not create one himself?

He went snooping and found out something and then had an arguement. Then he blamed you OP. He brought to information out himself. Not a person I would want to be around.
If tomorrow's birthday meal is a child free event I don't think you can go. If DH is going it wont be child free!

Look after yourself and don't take any cr@p from this moaner.

CantWaitToRetire · 04/01/2019 17:02

Call him out OP. As a PP has said, he was definitely snooping your purchases to see if you'd got anything from eBay for his birthday. If he just wanted to browse then he could have gone on the site without even logging in to an account.

Maybe get him one of these for his birthday
www.amazon.co.uk/Bullsh-t-Meter-Gift-Mug/dp/B00LKR2IMA/ref=sr_1_9?keywords=bullshit+detector&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1546621292&sr=8-9

ree348 · 04/01/2019 17:03

He's being childish. Don't apologise!

AWishForWingsThatWork · 04/01/2019 17:05

Your husband's an oversized baby. I'm so sorry, it sounds like you have another baby to look after on top of the babies you've actually got.. What a nightmare he must be to live with when things don't go his way. Wanker.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 04/01/2019 17:06

And this is spot on: However. Any man who goes into a major sulk about spoiling this kind of surprise, rather than being fucking delighted at what it is, well, I wouldn't want to be looking at his lousy slapped-arse face across the table either, the mean-spirited self-centred nosey git. He's like a bloody kid poking through his mum's wardrobe and complaining that he's found his Christmas present.

Maelstrop · 04/01/2019 17:07

God, he's pathetic! Ruined his birthday,cos, what, 6?! If he's still sulking, go to a friend's or relatives tomorrow for the day to really bloody ruin it. Idiot bloke.

Santaisfastasleepatlast · 04/01/2019 17:08

Get him a dummy for tomorrow..

blackteasplease · 04/01/2019 17:10

I agree, his own fault entirely.

Although to be fair a baby of either sex could wear a broderie anglaise dress as they are, well, baby!

onalongsabbatical · 04/01/2019 17:12

He's in a strop about this? Have you reminded him that you are bearing him a fucking child and all the pain and indignity and risk that entails, OP?
Jeez some of these men, seriously...

Onceihadaname · 04/01/2019 17:15

I am another who thought he is gutted it is a girl.
I'd be glad he is doing this now tbh than in the delivery room

inlectorecumbit · 04/01/2019 17:22

I would have thought he would be delighted as he now has the "gentleman's family" one of each gender...
He is a twat

Pontingss · 04/01/2019 17:24

So instead of being excited about having a baby girl, he’s sulking. What a child!

SaturdayNext · 04/01/2019 17:24

OP has said her first child was a boy, so I'd have thought her DH could cope with a girl now.

OP, is it worth pointing out to him that, amongst other matters, you're entitled to buy things for friends' or relatives' children without him jumping to conclusions that you're trying to sabotage him?

Original poster
HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 17:25

He actually showed a slight preference for a girl so I don’t think it’s that. I think he’s just annoyed with himself and took it out on me.

I’m at work now so he can huff all he wants

OP posts: