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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take no blame for this?

111 replies

HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 15:33

First world problem but DH is sulking like a toddler and expecting an apology.

Currently pregnant. Had our anatomy scan on Tuesday, everything was fine. I wanted to find out the sex of the baby and the sonographer agreed to look, so DH stepped out of the room whilst I was told.
We did this for our last baby and I was able to keep it to myself, so DH didn’t find out until he was born.

Today DH decided to use my eBay account for no particular reason, just a browse, and saw that I’d purchased a little white broderie anglaise dress and cardigan for the baby when she arrives.

Which obviously to him means I have spoiled the surprise.

Aibu to tell him to grow up? If he had have told me he wanted to use my account I could have warned him I’d made baby related purchases that would give away the sex. Instead he’s upstairs in a huff, blaming me for ruining his birthday (tomorrow) and that he doesn’t know how he can sit across from me at dinner knowing I’ve ‘betrayed his trust’

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 04/01/2019 16:08

I suspect he was snooping to see if there was anything I’d bought him for his birthday which was why he didn’t ask.

So, happy to spoil his own birthday by sneaking a peek at gifts he may have, nut NOT happy to find out the sex of his baby in advance! And 'they' say women are complicated! Grin

Man-child!

MrsJBaptiste · 04/01/2019 16:15

You're not to blame but I can understand how annoyed he must feel. I would be beyond gutted to have found out the sex of our babies before the birth 😕

SaturdayNext · 04/01/2019 16:16

Does he really expect you to tread on eggshells for the next few months not making any purchases in case he randomly decides to use your online accounts? He's being utterly ridiculous.

How does it hurt him anyway to know in advance of the birth? When we had DC1 I didn't want to know in advance, but then for DC2 I realised it would be just as much of a lovely surprise whenever I found out, so I made sure they told me after the scan. It didn't spoil her birth one iota.

Original poster
HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 16:18

@MrsJBaptiste i do understand why he’s annoyed - I would have been gutted if the sonographer couldn’t see/wasn’t allowed to tell me! but it’s the sulking and blaming me that’s winding me up. I didn’t tell him!

OP posts:
SaturdayNext · 04/01/2019 16:18

Tell him he abused your trust by snooping around your account. If he decides to do that, he has to accept full responsibility for the consequences.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 04/01/2019 16:19

If you don't want to know don't go snooping, themselves the rules!

I don't go near dp's ebay or amazon account (without asking) near my birthday or Christmas for exactly that reason.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 04/01/2019 16:19

Not themselves! That's the rules.

Original poster
HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 16:20

@SaturdayNext I managed to let time! Was hard not to slip up but I just kept it completely to myself and hid anything I’d bought

OP posts:
GhostSauce · 04/01/2019 16:20

YOU have not personally ruined his birthday or betrayed his trust. He snooped. What were you supposed to do about that?

What a fucking daft manchild. Ignore him.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/01/2019 16:21

At least the teeny dainty white dress will match your snowflake husband. Wink. Is he always that much of a drama queen? Don’t pander to this please or try to make his birthday extra l to make up for it. He needs grow up a bit.

SuziQ10 · 04/01/2019 16:22

Lol. He is being silly.

I get that it's disappointing when he was looking fwd to the surprise... but he ruined it for himself. And he should just be overjoyed that he'll have a dd along

SaturdayNext · 04/01/2019 16:22

Tell him the dress was for him, because he's such a drama queen.

ADastardlyThing · 04/01/2019 16:23

"blaming me for ruining his birthday (tomorrow) and that he doesn’t know how he can sit across from me at dinner knowing I’ve ‘betrayed his trust’"

I'd have laughed right in his face for saying this. What a drama llama.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/01/2019 16:24

So, he snooped and found out when he wanted to wait. Totally his fault, but instead of sucking up the very small disappointment of finding out a few months early and instead being excited at finding out he has a daughter on the way, he chose to be an arsehole and then sulk.

He needs a thorough kick up the arse!!

agedknees · 04/01/2019 16:24

He needs to grow up.

FuckingYuleLog · 04/01/2019 16:28

Well yes if the op had no idea he’d be on her account then she wouldn’t know to hide it so it’s definitely on him. He’s probably disappointed in himself for snooping bit taking it out on the op which isn’t nice at all.

hellsbellsmelons · 04/01/2019 16:29

I'd tell him to grow the fuck up or he'll be spending his birthday on his own.
I can understand it's horrible for him to find out when he didn't want to know, but...... he was in YOUR account.
So tough.

Yabbers · 04/01/2019 16:30

“That’s actually for a friend/relative/to donate for a raffle/someone without an account.”

He jumped to a conclusion that might not be accurate.

Total twat for sulking about it.

VanGoghsDog · 04/01/2019 16:30

Surely everyone knows not to use each other's ebay accounts especially before their birthday.........

Not your fault at all.

Deathraystare · 04/01/2019 16:31

Can you get an anatomy scan done on him? I might be wrong but it sounds suspiciously like he might be a dick.

Nice one!!!

Letsmoveondude · 04/01/2019 16:33

Fuck me,... and you’re the one with crazy pregnancy hormones?!

Original poster
HaveACupOfCoffee · 04/01/2019 16:34

How did I miss this?😂😂😂😂

Can you get an anatomy scan done on him? I might be wrong but it sounds suspiciously like he might be a dick

No need - after today I can clearly see it growing out of the top of his head.

OP posts:
Windgate · 04/01/2019 16:38

He went deliberately snooping whether it was for clues re the baby or his birthday gift. Entirely his fault.

MotherTruckerHere · 04/01/2019 16:38

YANBU. I suspect he’s pissed off at himself more than anything, because he didn’t think. He is being a bit of an arse though.

ravenscaw · 04/01/2019 16:42

Arrange to go out tomorrow.